Starring: Sean Hayes, Chris Diamantoupoulos and Will Sasso
Directed by: Bobby and Peter Farrelly
PG
Running time: 1 hour 32 mins
20th Century Fox

Our Score: 3.5 out of 5 stars

In 1930, a film called “Soup to Nuts” was released. Though it didn’t break box office records it is best remembered for one great achievement: introducing the world to The Three Stooges. Consisting of brothers Moe and Shemp Howard (Shemp would be replaced by Curly shortly afterwards) and violinist Larry Fine, the trio poked, kicked and nyuk-nyuk-nyuked their way through almost 200 shorts and feature films. Their popularity was so great that their studio, Columbia, would refuse to rent them to theatre owners unless they promised to play a poorly performing Columbia feature. The Stooges continued on in various forms (after Curly died, Shemp returned – following Shemp’s death both Joe Besser and Joe DeRita followed). In the 1960s, as television took off, the Stooges were introduced to a new generation, including me. Parents began to complain that their children were poking each other in the eyes and I’ve heard of several cases of one sibling hitting another one in the head with a hammer just because it looked funny on TV. Now, almost four decades after the last Stooges, Moe and Larry, passed away, comes a film that tries to recapture the magic of good, old fashioned slapstick comedy.

Presented in a series of faux-shorts (the first one titled “More Orphan Then Not”), “The Three Stooges” begins with three boys being dropped off at an orphanage. As they grow up they seem to attract any mishap that might be in the area. Moe (Skyler Gisondo) is the bossy one of the bunch. Larry (Lance Chantiles-Wertz) is the quiet one. His silence, along with his very unusual head of hair, make prospective parents wonder if he is undergoing chemotherapy. Curly (Robert Capron) is the million-miles-a-minute hyper one. But they are a team. Years later, now adults, the boys learn the orphanage is in threat of being closed due to funding. Determined to save their home, the Stooges make their way out into the world.

Full of the classic timing and slapstick humor that have made the Stooges fan favorites for almost a century, “The Three Stooges” could have been a horrible disappointment. It would have been difficult to create a bio pic about the boys because their personalities are so engrained in our memories. But to actually emulate all that made the Stooges popular, and do it well, is a miracle. All three leads are superb comedians in their own right, with Emmy award winner Hayes (Larry) being the most recognizable. Sasso (Curly) is a comedy vet with a long stint on “Mad TV” while Diamantoupoulos (Moe) is known more for his serious work on shows like “24.” They all succeed in bringing the Stooges to life with Diamantoupoulos seeming to be channeling Moe Howard. To learn that Howard died less than a week before Diamantoupoulis was born makes that last sentence eerie!

The comedy is pretty toned down by Farrelly brother standards. The majority of the laughs come from the onscreen shenanigans. When the script calls for the inclusion of peeing babies and a testicle joke or two, these modern comedy attempts seem startlingly out of place. But old fans and new fans should rejoice as the Stooges are introduced to a new generation.

Directed by: James Mather, Stephen St. Leger
Starring: Guy Pearce, Maggie Grace, Vincent Regan, Joseph Gilgun, Lennie James, Peter Stormare
Distributed by: Open Road Films / FilmDistrict
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running time: 95 minutes

Our Score: 4 out of 5 stars

I went into this thinking it would be just another prison rescue movie. Well the movie definitely proved me wrong. Not only was there action from start to finish it was also very funny and kept your attention throughout.

The year is 2079 and Snow (Guy Pearce) is being framed for murder. He finds himself in a no-win situation but with a possibility to clear his name. Pearce does an excellent job and has a lot of one liners that are very humorous. Emilie Warnock (Maggie Grace) plays the president’s daughter. When the two finally meet their personalities clash and find themselves in situations they would rather not be in. Hydell (Joseph Gilgun) plays a very psychotic trigger happy inmate. I do hope to see him in more movies.

The special effects were pretty good for the most part. At the start of the film when Snow is fleeing a crime scene there is a chase. This scene doesn’t look that well and almost feels as if you were watching a video game. Through the rest of the movie the effects weren’t as bad and done quite well.

As I stated before, this is not your typical prison break movie. The movie is filled with action and humor throughout. I definitely left the theater enjoying the movie more than I thought I would have. If you like action/thrillers this movie does not disappoint.

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Starring: Jason Biggs, Seann William Scott and Eugene Levy
Directed by: Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg
MPAA Rating: R
Running time: 1 hour 53 mins
Universal

Our Score: 3 out of 5 stars

Ah, high school. So many memories. And what better way to relive those fond memories then at a reunion. The kids at East Great Falls High are getting together to celebrate their 13th year (don’t ask) out of high school. And they’ll find that those memories can make you cry as much as laugh.

Pretty much an “American Pie” retrospective, “American Reunion” gives us a look into the lives of the senior class of 1999. All of the familiar faces are there. Jim (Biggs) is married to Michelle (Alyson Hannigan). They have a two year old son and apparently no time for each other. Oz (Chris Klein) is a popular television sportscaster who is even more renowned for his appearance on a “Dancing With the Stars”-like show. Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas) has become a world traveler. Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas) is a happily married stay at home husband. And Stifler (Scott)…well, Stifler is Stifler.

Written and directed by the same duo that brought us the “Harold and Kumar” films (which would make sense since Thomas, John Cho and a cameo-ing Neil Patrick Harris appear here), “American Reunion” is like one of those flashback television shows. Except here when someone says, “remember when we” there is no actual flashback. Just a lot of reminiscing. Mostly it’s about love lost. Whether it’s no time for love, not loving the one you’re with or wishing you’re first love had really been forever, love seems to be the story here. Of course there is also sex and beer and the forever-eighteen Stifler to brighten the mood. As played by Scott, Stifler is as obnoxious as ever. But you can’t help but love the guy because, whether he’s getting revenge on a couple of teen age pranksters or setting up the party of the year, you know his heart is in it.

The rest of the cast have obviously become comfortable in their roles and their comradeship is evident on screen. Klein has a few scenes that let him show some range and he handles them well. Biggs has always played hang-dog well and he does it here. Levy, as Jim’s dad, has always been a high point in the “Pie” film series. The best scenes in the film are of Jim and his pop just talking like countless fathers and sons have done in the past. Hannigan is pretty much wasted here, spending a lot of the film “visiting friends.” “American Pie” fans will be happy everyone from the first film makes an appearance, though some of them are in “blink or you’ll miss them” cameos.

The script is full of jokes capitalizing on the fact that life moves pretty fast. When Jim meets Kara, the little girl next door he used to babysit, he is shocked to see that she has grown into a full blown hottie. The fact that she refers to a Spice Girls song on the radio as “classic rock” only shocks him more. Time surely does fly, whether you’re having fun or not.

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Directed by: David Brooks
Starring: Alice Eve, Josh Peck, Brian Geraghty, Ashvin Singh
Distributed by: IFC Midnight
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Running Time: 90 minutes

Our Score: 3 out of 5 stars

Who knew that a film focusing around being stalked in an ATM booth would work as a premise for a film. Well it does…more the most part. This film is a billed a horror yet falls more in the line of thriller. If you are aware of the film “Buried”, starring Ryan Reynolds, where he spends the whole film in a coffin, well this film is written by the same guy Chris Sparling. Well either way, the idea works and definitely creates some great suspense for the first 40 minutes or so. As the film goes on though, it seems like to loose its draw and doesn’t really pack a strong pay-off at the end.

The premise for this film is extremely simple. It follows three co-workers who stop at an ATM on the way home from an office party. The three co-workers soon find that they are unable to leave this ATM booth since they are being stalked by a crazy man in a hoodie. They end up fighting for their lives and search desperately for a way to escape this booth before it is too late.

“ATM” is the directorial debut from David Brooks and definitely shows potential for him. Going back to “Buried” for a minute, this film packs a lot less terror than being buried alive. This is what the film lacks…the terror. The performances from Josh Peck, Alice Eve And Brian Geraghty are decent though and since the film is just them, they definitely carry the film well. I wish there was more back story revealed throughout the film, I think it could have given the characters more depth. Overall it is worth checking out if you are a horror fan. Kudos to IFC Midnight for giving this film a theatrical release.

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Directed by: Guy Maddin
Starring: Jason Patric, Isabella Rossellini, Udo Kier, Kevin McDonald
Distributed by: Monterey Media
MPAA Rating: R
Running time: 93 min

Our Score: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Wow. Wow is about all I got after viewing this film for the first time. I am a sucker to the horror/thriller genre in particular but this takes it on a whole new level. “Keyhole” is such a trip and leaves you with your mouth open the whole film. It reminds of a bizarre mix between F.W. Murnau meets David Lynch. It is definitely one of those movies that really needs a few viewings to really grasp. It definitely is interesting though and worth checking out. It has this horror mixed with comedy mixed with film noir. It is set in the 1930’s and has a existential feeling. It mixes a ghost story with a gangster story. If you are familiar with Guy Maddin and his work, they you wouldn’t expect anything less from him. I could have done without all the old man frontal nudity, just sayin’.

The story itself takes place in a house that is haunted by its memories.  We meet Ulysses Pick (Patrick) who is returning home to this house filled with ghosts along with a drowned girl and a bound-hostage teenage boy.  He meets up with a group of gangsters that are holding up from the law after a shoot out.  While exploring the house room by room Ulysees finds out a lot of secrets that the house is holding, including his wife (Rossellini) that is awaiting him.

The cast itself is extremely notable and has some great range. We go from Jason Patri (“The Lost Boys”) to Isabella Rossellini (“Blue Velvet”) to horror genre legend Udo Kier (“Blood of Dracula”) to “Kids in the Hall” member Kevin McDonald. Either way the film seems to have a little bit of everything. It is just so bizarre and out there, it feels like an out-of-body experience just watching it. Prior to reviewing this film, I had to watch it twice and I liked it more the second time but still was completely amazing with each shot. The film is also shot in black and white and really adds so much to its charm, I do not think it would have worked at all being in color.

Directed by: Lee Hirsch
Distributed by: The Weinstein Company
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Running time: 90 minutes

Our Score: 4 out of 5 stars

Bully is an eye opening and heartfelt doc from Lee Hirsch taking an extremely close look at the victims of bullying in America’s schools. Through the eyes of a select few subjects, Hirsch exposes larger problems in the handling of a growing epidemic.

Bullying is not a new problem in American schools and perhaps, as this film shows, that is at the heart of the ambivalence with which it can often be dealt. If something is viewed as a rite of passage, there is a heavy level of acceptance associated with it that must be overcome. Hirsch has chosen his subjects to show the diverse range the impact of bullying can have. From two sets of parents whose boys committed suicide, to a girl in juvenile detention for wielding–but not firing– a gun at her tormentors. Ultimately, the film is a call to action for students and teachers to find the tools and support needed to cope with and prevent abuse.

At the heart of the film and given the most screen time as far as I could tell was Alex, a sweet, if awkward, 12 year old from Iowa. He’s been branded “fish face” by his bullies and is additionally physically tormented on a daily basis. Disturbingly Alex doesn’t raise a fuss about it because he’s accepted it as the other boys “messing around.” Despite this, the filmmakers deem some of the physical abuse Alex endures on the bus–sometimes he’s jabbed with pencils– to be too dangerous to ignore and bring the footage Alex’s parents.

When I was in elementary school the bus was rowdy to a point. If it reached critical volume, our iron lady driver hollered us into quiet submission. The bus was definitely ruled over by a supervising adult. So why does a film director need to intervene? Hirsch literally captures physical abuse of Alex in the same frame as a young driver nonchalantly glancing into her rear view mirror. When shown the footage, a principal assures his infuriated parents that when she rode that bus route the children were “as good as gold.” Of course they were. This is just one of several moments Hirsch captures of school staff being shockingly out of touch. When seeing this film in theaters, expect your audience to get vocal, mine certainly did.

If there’s one mystery to this film, it might be Hirsch’s choice to omit exploring the bullies themselves. Especially bullies who are so bold as to continue to lash out despite the presumed knowledge that they’re being filmed (only one boy’s face is blurred out in the footage of Alex being threatened). Also surprising is lack of a look at cyber bullying which has really expanded the borders of torment from the school yards right into targets’ homes in recent years.

Finally, adding to the outrage the film can often inspire is the recent controversy that has sprung up around the MPAA’s ruling to brand this movie with an R-rating for language. Children swear. They do it to emulate their friends, their role models, and yes, the characters in films they’re technically not supposed to even have access to (but who are we kidding?). The subjects who swear in “Bully” are none of these things, so that the MPAA is in effect stopping this doc from reaching its intended audience for probably less than $2 worth in the swear jar is ridiculous. Kudos for the Weinstein company going ahead unrated and hopefully theater chains will let students see it. If not, one can only hope teachers will have the good sense to bring the DVDs into their classrooms regardless.

Directed by: Tarsem Singh
Starring: Julia Roberts, Lily Collins, Armie Hammer, Nathan Lane, Sean Bean
Distributed by: Relativity Media
MPAA Rating: PG
Running time: 106 minutes

Our Score: 3 out of 5 stars

Director Tarsem Singh has made a family film that is just charming. Which is fitting for a retelling of Snow White. Children will love it and adults will definitely enjoy it if a slightly offbeat, if not ground breaking, storybook tale is what they’re up for.

Julia Roberts playing the evil queen sets up the story, narrating a beautifully animated opening sequence where we learn her step daughter Snow White’s (Lily Collins) father was lost in the dark forrest and now she must raise the princess, who she keeps locked away in the castle under the pretense that she’s too naive or crazy to be out in the world. Let alone to rule the kingdom that’s rightfully hers.

At eighteen years old, Snow decides to test her stepmother’s image of her and ventures outside the castle to learn the toll the wicked Queen’s vanity is taking on her subjects. And luckily she also bumps into a charming Prince.

Roberts mostly steals the show in her villainous role with the writers lending a motivation to her quest for youth and beauty in the form of Armie Hammer’s rich and handsome Prince Alcott, whom she aims to wed despite his affection for Snow. Never before had I seen Roberts’ trademark booming laughter used for evil purposes, but she should do it more often. Adding to her impact are the gasp inducing gowns she wears by the late designer Eiko Ishioka (Bram Stoker’s Dracula).

New-comer Lily Collins definitely looks the part of Snow White, though she’s given less to work with than her co-stars. After Roberts, Hammer in particular gives a wonderfully committed performance to his princely role which calls for him to be charming but also very silly at times which many young actors might not have been able to do with the same degree of sincerely that he brings here.

After the Queen tries and fails to have Snow White killed by her servant (Nathan Lane), the young princess of course is left in the care of a troop of seven dwarves. Here they’re bandits instead of miners, but going with the Disney method, the dwarves are mostly identified by a simple character trait (Grub eats, Chuckles…chuckles, etc). Again, this all works, even if it’s not very original.

If there’s an overall flaw with Snow’s story it’s that Collins isn’t exactly fit to sell the transition she’s meant to make from meek palace dweller to strong bandit-trained fighter. Nor are the stakes very high. A tiny village serves as the whole kingdom the princess is meant to be fighting for. Though perhaps I’ll be grateful for this when Snow White and the Huntsman releases its armies on audiences this summer. We’ll see.

Still the gentle humor, dazzling costumes and sweet nature of this film are enough to recommend it to anyone who enjoys a well crafted fairy tale.

Starring: Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes
Directed by: Jonathan Liebesman
PG 13
Running time: 1 hour 39 mins
Warner Brothers

Our Score: 3.5 out of 5 stars

The answer is YES. “Wrath of the Titans” is 100 times better then 2010’s “Clash of the Titans.” But wait, there’s more…

The film picks up many years after the first film ended. Perseus (Worthington), the son of Zeus (Neeson), recently widowed and raising young son Helius (John Bell), is living the quiet life of a fisherman. One night he is visited by his pop who tells him that because so many people have stopped praying to the Gods they are getting weak. If they get any weaker the world as the people know it will be destroyed. The source of that destruction is blamed on the common folk and their lack of prayer. Only after investigating does Zeus find that his brother, Hades (Fiennes), still bitter from the whole “sent to the underworld” thing, has teamed with nephew Ares (Edgar Ramirez) to release Kronus, the king of the underworld and father of Zeus, from where he has been seemingly forever. Kronus’ goal is to retrieve the lightning bolt of Zeus, the triton of Poseidon and the helm of Hades, which when assembled together will allow Kronus to defeat the Titans. Chaos ensues.

Featuring strong performances by Neeson and Fiennes, “Wrath of the Titans” features some brilliant effects (the fire and ash monster that is Kronus) and, though still converted, much better 3D then the last film. Which I’m sure will make Warner Brothers happy after the backlash the studio took from fans due to the horrible 3D conversion they shelled out good money for. The story is pretty much your standard mythological tale…monster threatens town/village/city/world and is eventually defeated by unassuming hero. Of course, the hero here is part man/part God, so he has a slight edge. The story has a more humorous tone as well, when Perseus encounters a trio of Cyclops. And, despite what I’m sure was against Worthington’s wishes (he spoke out very negatively about an appearance in the first film), Bubo the owl makes another appearance here.

I’d also urge you to get in your seats early as preceding the film is an incredible trailer for Peter Jackson’s upcoming “The Hobbit.” Worth an extra rating star all by itself!

Starring: Ewan McGregor, Emily Blunt and Kristin Scott Thomas
Directed by: Lasse’ Hallstrom
PG 13
Running time: 1 hour 47 mins
Lionsgate

Our Score: 3.5 out of 5 stars

The news in England is pretty bleak. The headlines are full of stories about war and a bad economy. Enter Patricia Maxwell (Thomas), press secretary to the Prime Minister. She enlists her staff to search high and low for what she calls a “Good Story,” something that will take the peoples’ minds off of the negative. Unbeknownst to Maxwell, a very wealthy Yemeni Sheik (Amr Waked) with a love for fishing wants to bring the sport of salmon fishing to his country. A match made in publicity heaven.

Based on the novel by Paul Torday and adapted by Oscar winning screenwriter Simon Beaufoy (“The Full Monty,” “Slumdog Millionaire”), “Salmon Fishing in the Yemen” is a well written, finely acted film that hopefully will not get lost in the upcoming “BIG MOVIE” release schedule. McGregor plays Dr. Alfred Jones, who works for the government’s conservation office. Blunt is Harriet, who is the Sheik’s representative on the project. At first Jones believes it all a joke, quoting a price of 50 million pounds as the cost of the project thinking he will call the Sheik’s bluff. But when the Sheik deposits the money in the bank he realizes the plan may work. An avid fisherman himself, Jones understands the peace and tranquility the Sheik is hoping to share with his people. A secondary story featuring Jones and his wife and Harriet and her recent boyfriend gives the film a romantic twist. Fate throws the two together alone in a strange country after Alfred’s wife heads to Geneva for a six week work project and Harriet’s beau, a soldier, is listed as missing in action. Only a minor subplot concerning the Sheik’s countrymen and their worries that he is becoming too “westernized” slows the film down. Both leads work well off of each other and it’s a treat to hear McGregor unleash his Scottish accent on screen.

The photography is beautiful, with the normally dull desert landscapes brought to life by cinematographer Terry Stacey (“American Splendor”). Equally solid is Lasse Hallstrom’s direction, keeping the film moving as gracefully as salmon swimming upstream.

Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson and Stanley Tucci
Directed by: Gary Ross
PG 13
Running time: 2 hours 22 mins
Lionsgate

Our Score: 4 out 5 stars

It happens every year. Called “The Reaping,” it consists of children being randomly selected to fight to the death in what has been known as, for the past 73 years, The Hunger Games. The winner is treated to a life of luxury. The losers…you know.

In District 12, 16 year old Katniss Everdeen (Lawrence) is hunting for food. No, really. Bow and arrow in hand she scopes out a deer. But the deer is startled by the sudden appearance of Gale Hawthorne (Liam Hemsworth). It’s obvious the two are sweet on each other but there are more serious things afoot. Like the upcoming “Reaping.” To be eligible, a child must be between the ages of 12 and 18. Katniss’ sister Prim just turned 12 this year and is nervous that she will be picked. With only one entry in the drawing her chances seem slim. But when the time comes it is Prim who is called. To save her sister Katniss offers herself up as tribute. Together with Peeta Mellark (Hutcherson), Katniss is sent to the Capitol to prepare herself for, literally, the battle of her life.

Based on the first of a series of popular novels by Suzanne Collins, “The Hunger Games” is a smart cross between “The Running Man” and “The Truman Show,” with a little “Romeo and Juliet” thrown in for good measure. In a brief intro we are informed that, many years ago, 13 districts tried to overthrow the government. When the rebellion was quashed, those in charge declared that, because of their actions, each year two children (a boy and a girl) would be “chosen” to fight to the death on live television. That’s right. “The Hunger Games” is a national phenomena….the Super Bowl of Carnage. “May the Odds be forever in your favor” is the often repeated phrase that the participants hear. But when there can only be one winner, the odds are pretty much stacked.

I haven’t read the books but I do know of the outcry fans of the novels had when Lawrence was cast. I liken it to the screams that came from Anne Rice fans when Tom Cruise was picked to play Lestat in “Interview With a Vampire.” The fans I talked to after the “HG” screening seemed pretty pleased with Lawrence and with good reason. Coming off an Oscar-nominated breakout performance in “Winter’s Bone,” Lawrence is continuing to prove herself as one of the best new talents working today. Cute as a button, Lawrence also manages to project the quiet strength needed to make Katniss believable. As Peeta, Hutcherson comes off a little whiny. If I had to bet on the outcome of the games I think I’d take the little 12 year old girl over Peeta. The supporting cast shines, even if they do so in hairdos that look like they were left over from a Tim Burton film. As the games master of ceremonies, Tucci chews the scenery in huge teeth and what appears to be a chonmage (the official name of the hairstyle you’d find on a Sumo wrestler) on his head. As Haymitch, the “mentor” for the team from District 12, Woody Harrelson hits all the right notes. As a past “winner,” he can’t help but be cynical about his charges chances. And a true tip of the hat to musician Lenny Kravitz for a strong performance as Cinna, the District 12 style guru. Coupled with fine work in “Precious” a couple of years ago, Kravitz could easily build a fine career in films.

As he has in previous films like “Pleasantville” and “Seabiscuit,” director Ross manages to get inside the characters he’s filming, allowing them to not be overshadowed by the action on screen. And speaking of the action, the film carries a rating of PG 13 largely because of the subject matter. There is some violence on screen but I don’t think it’s anything too rough for the book’s tween-age readers.

One thing I caught that might confuse those who haven’t read the books (and this is not a spoiler). During the opening “video” it is announced that 13 Districts revolted yet in the film only 12 are represented. I asked someone who read the books and was informed that the 13th District was destroyed…something that is made more of in the later books. Thought I’d share this so, like me, you’re not sitting in the theatre trying to figure out how two times thirteen equaled twenty four!

Starring: Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum and Ice Cube
Directed by: Phil Lord and Chris Miller
MPAA Rating: R
Running time: 1 hour 49 mins
Columbia

Our Score: 4.5 out of 5 stars

2005. High school seniors Schmidt (Hill) and Janko (Tatum) are on opposite ends of the popularity meter. Schmidt is quiet and smart and has a horrible time talking to girls. Janko is the classic big man on campus. For very different reasons, neither attends their senior prom.

2012. Reunited at the police academy, the two develop a friendship. But their first crack at big time crooks will have to wait. They’re on bicycle duty. But when an “old and recycled” program is reinstated they find themselves assigned under cover as high school students hoping to uncover a new drug and its manufacturer. And the fun begins!

Hilarious from beginning to end, and featuring a surprisingly funny performance by Channing Tatum (who knew this guy could be funny…he’s always brooding every time I see him), “21 Jump Street” is the funniest film of the year so far. Both cops find out that high school isn’t the same the second time around. While Janko was the epitome of cool in 2005, he finds that the shift of power now favors the more studious kids. Which works out fine for Schmidt, whose high school highlight was forming the Juggling Society (one man, three balls). It’s kind of like “The Breakfast Club” only now Anthony Michael Hall is cooler then Judd Nelson.

Both leads do a great job conveying they’re new stations in life. Ice Cube is the, in his words, stereotypical angry black police captain, and he has fun with the role. Supporting characters, including Chris Parnell, Rob Riggle and Dave Franco (James’ little brother and an upcoming talent to watch) keep the film moving along briskly.

Starring: Jason Segel, Ed Helms and Susan Sarandon
Directed by: Jay Duplass and Mark Duplass
MPAA Rating: R
Running time: 1 hour 23 mins
Paramount Vantage

Our Score: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Meet Jeff (Segel). Like the title of the movie says, he lives at home. In his mother’s basement. He spends his days smoking pot and discussing the many interesting facets of the movie “Signs.” He also gets the occasional wrong number calling him. Today someone was looking for “Kevin.” Hmmmmmm.

Featuring a strong performance by Segel, “Jeff, Who Lives at Home” is a story that tries to convince us that everything happens for a reason. Good or bad, hot or cold, fast or slow…one action leads directly to another…even if there are many detours along the way.

When asked by his mother (Sarandon) to fix a simple closet door Jeff instead finds himself following a young man (Evan Ross) he spies on the bus simply because he has the name KEVIN on the back of his basketball jersey. Across town, his brother Frank (Helms) is rewarding himself for having a good week at work. Unfortunately, his wife (Judy Greer) is not too happy with the reward system Frank has come up with. She’s also tired of the lack of communication between them and may or may not be looking to reward herself with a little male company. Meanwhile, mother is dealing with a possible secret admirer at work. And what was that about KEVIN?

Bravely played by Segel, whose fondest act here is playing the part sans makeup, his constant five o-clock shadow a reminder of his life, “Jeff, Who Lives at Home” is a true family comedy with a truly dysfunctional family. Whereby Jeff can get along without all of the trimmings of life (car, house…even a girlfriend), Frank considers these things the most important symbols that he is indeed living a life. Coming across almost as cocky as Danny McBride’s Kenny Powers, Helms does his best to make the audience feel for a character who really doesn’t deserve sympathy. Frank is pretty much one dimensional so credit to Helms for trying. Sarandon gives a strong performance as a woman who doesn’t realize she misses the life she once had. Kudos as well to supporting work by Greer and Rae Dawn Chong, who plays a co-worker of Sarandon’s. But the film breathes through Segel, who says more here with his eyes then some actors say in a two page monologue. If not for a telegraphed, treacle-filled ending, “Jeff, Who Lives at Home” could have been practically perfect. But at least it’s better then “Signs.”

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Starring: Taylor Kitsch, Lynn Collins and Willem Dafoe
Directed by: Andrew Stanton
PG-13
Running time: 2 hours 12 mins
Walt Disney Company

Our Score: 2.5 out of 5 stars

New York City. 1881. A man silently makes his way through town, searching out the nearest telegraph shop. He is aware that he is being followed and quickly loses his tagalong. We are introduced to the recipient of that telegram, a young man named Edgar Rice Burroughs. Seems the man in question has shuffled off this mortal coil and has left everything to master Burroughs. Among the possessions is a journal with a most incredible journey.

Based on Burroughs first ever novel, “A Princess of Mars” (published about a year before his first “Tarzan” adventure), John Carter tells the story of a former Confederate soldier who finds himself in the middle of a civil war on Mars. There he meets all kinds of bizarre creatures with names like Dejah Thoris (Collins – the princess), Tars Tarkas (Dafoe) and Sab Than (Dominic West). Most of the inhabitants of Mars would make great basketball players as they’re about 13 feet tall and have not two but four arms. The story in a nutshell finds the city of Helium being threatened with destruction…a destruction that can be avoided if the Princess marries the suddenly powerful Sab Than, who recently was granted a powerful weapon by Matai Shang (Mark Strong). Confused yet?

Though visually beautiful in 3D, “John Carter” is flat in the story telling department. There really isn’t anything exciting happening on screen. Lots of yelling and fun shots of Carter bouncing around once he gets used to the lack of gravity on the red planet. This is truly a story I’d rather go to the library and read then watch again. Director Stanton has won two Academy Awards for his Pixar films “Finding Nemo” and “WALL-E.” However, in his live action feature debut he seems to forget that his actors are flesh and blood and not animated. They come across as bland rather than exciting. Which is a shame because there are some talented people in the cast. Besides Dafoe and West you get strong turns from Thomas Haden Church, Ciaran Hinds, Bryan Cranston and the aforementioned Mark Strong, who, after recent appearances in “Green Lantern,” “Kick-Ass,” “Robin Hood” and “Sherlock Holmes” must have it in his contract that he appear in every sci fi/fantasy film! As the title character Kitsch is serviceable. But, again, he’s not really given the room to emote. My favorite character was Woola, Mar’s version of man’s best friend. At least he had a personality.

Starring: Elizabeth Olsen, Adam Trese and Eric Sheffer Stevens
Directed by: Chris Kentis and Laura Lau
MPAA Rating: R
Running time: 1 hour 28 mins
LD Entertainment

Our Score: 2 out of 5 stars

Bump! Ah yes, the standard horror movie staple. Young girl trapped in house with no lights hears that proverbial bump telling her she’s not alone and the audience jumps. Or laughs. Depending on the audience. Opening this week, “Silent House” has more laughs than jumps!

Sarah (Olsen) and her dad (Trese) are renovating the old family house, getting it ready to be sold. Surrounded by work lights (the electricity doesn’t work) they are slowly going through rooms and trashing the unwanted. They are joined by Peter (Stevens), dad’s brother and Sarah’s uncle. Dad and Peter bicker like brothers do, causing Peter to leave. As Sarah begins to clean out one room, dad heads upstairs. Bump!

Marketed as being one continual 88 minute journey (there are no editing cuts…only a couple black outs), “Silent House” is a good idea gone bad. Is it real? Is Sarah imagining everything? Maybe on both accounts. While I admire the attempt to show the action in one continual shot, I don’t admire whoever was in charge of continuity. Blood stains appear on one part of a body, seemingly disappear the next time the camera swings back then reappear again. And if you’re going to make it an important part of the plot that the front door requires a key don’t spend fifteen seconds showing someone lock the door and hang the key up only to have someone else just stroll through it moments later. And here’s an important safety tip for everyone: PLEASE DON’T USE A GAS GENERATOR INSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE!! Hell, maybe Sarah IS hallucinating with all of that carbon dioxide in the air. “Silent House” is actually a remake of a film that was Uruguay’s official submission for the Best Foreign Language Academy Award. Don’t look for this one to share that Oscar history.

What really disappointed me is that the co-director Kentis helmed the outstanding “Open Water.” He really showed an eye for building suspense with that film and, unfortunately, doesn’t succeed as well here. The cast does an impressive job, most notably Olsen. A breakout star last year for her work in “Martha Marcy May Marlene,” Olsen spends most of the film hiding under furniture. But when the camera closes in on her face, the terror Sarah is feeling is projected through her eyes. The film takes a really weird twist in it’s last 15 minutes, though if you get the same vibe I got off of creepy Uncle Peter you may not be as surprised as some.

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Starring:  Jay Chou, Nicholas Tse and Bing Bai
Directed by:  Dante Lam
Not Rated
Running time:  2 hours 2 mins
China Lion Film Distribution

Our Score: 4.5 out of 5 stars

It would be fair to say that the majority of great action films have taken their cue from the creators of Asian Cinema.  Directors like Tsui Hark, John Loo and Ringo Lam have influence American directors like Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez and the Wachowski brothers.  Add to the list director Dante Lam who, with “The Viral Factor,” may have created the best action film of 2012.

As the film begins we learn that, though it was thought that Smallpox had been eradicated from the planet decades ago, a scientist had found a way to mutate it into an even deadlier virus.  Hoping to keep the scientist out of enemy hands, a group of agents from International Security Affairs attempts to escort him and his family to safety.  Betrayed by one of their own, the agents find themselves under attack.  During the firefight, Jon (Chou) is shot in the head, hit by the same bullet that also kills Ice (Bai), his fellow agent and girlfriend.  Jon is told that, because of the location of the bullet, surgery would be useless.  He is also told that the constant brain pressure on the bullet will cause him to be paralyzed in two weeks.  Jon goes home to inform his sick mother but, before he can tell her, she tells him that the father he thought had abandoned the family is still alive…and that he has an older brother, Yeung (Tse).  She begs Jon to find them.  And so the adventure begins.

Beautifully shot in such exotic locations as Malaysia, Hong Kong, Jordan and Singapore, “The Viral Factor” is two hours of non-stop, kick ass action.  The main plot consists of an arms dealer hoping to get his hands on the smallpox virus, create a vaccine for it, and then infect just enough of the population so that the demand for his vaccine makes him wealthy.  While searching for his father Jon recognizes one of the men that ambushed his group.  A spectacular fight inside a moving car takes place with Jon pretty much on the losing side.  But, right before he puts a bullet in Jon’s head the baddie  catches a glimpse of a photo in Jon’s wallet featuring Jon and his mother.  Did I mention Jon had an older brother?

The action sequences are incredible.  Though there is a little bit of camera trickery the majority of the action is live and man to man.  According to a story I read, lead actors Chou and Tse were insured for a combined $150 million to ensure if they were hurt the film would continue.  I’m not sure what the premium for that coverage was but it was truly money well spent.  The film moves quickly, thanks to director Lam’s flowing camera work and sharp editing.  The acting is also strong, especially Chou, who was the best thing about last year’s “Green Hornet.”  Chou has announced that “The Viral Factor” would be his last action film.  If this is true he’s going out on top!

“The Viral Factor” opens March 9 in the following cities:  Atlanta, Buffalo, Bloomington, Chicago, Dallas, Detroit, Houston, Kansas City, Miami, Oklahoma City, Philadelphia and Phoenix, with more cities to be added later.