Film Review “Mad Max: Fury Road”

Starring: Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron and Nicholas Hoult
Directed By: George Miller
Rated: R
Running Time: 120 minutes
Warner Bros. Pictures

Our Score: 4.5 out of 5 stars

From smashing real life cars in the early 80’s to CGI spectacles of today, it’s been quite the road for vehicular mayhem on the big screen. One of those movies to pioneer heart racing chases and motorized feats that could decapitate a stuntman was “The Road Warrior”. In 2015, George Miller has come full circle with his “Mad Max” franchise. He’s stepped on the pedal and revved up some life into this old franchise. While the original “Mad Max” movies were the quintessential action movies of the 80’s, “Mad Max: Fury Road” is undoubtedly the quintessential action movie of the 21st century.

This isn’t your typical summer blockbuster that requires knowledge of the backstory to understand the current predicament of the characters. “Mad Max: Fury Road,” much like the other movies, follows our hero, Mad Max. Max opens the movie with a narrative that packs more words than he’ll say for the rest of the movie. And trust me, that opening narrative still isn’t that long. His gritty and heavily accented voice grumbles out, “I exist in this wasteland, hunted by scavengers.” And that’s all you need to know about this world.

Fans of the previous movies will know that we’re plopped down in the fierce unforgiving deserts of Australia, but a sandy wasteland speaks for itself in a post-apocalyptic world. The movie establishes very briefly that there’s been a shortage of oil, a resource richer than water, which has thrown the world into chaos. Wars have torn us apart and devolved us into a primal state of mind. We no longer remember have a sense of normalcy and some have been born into this rustic nightmare.

Max is imprisoned in a mountainous fortress known as the Citadel. The Citadel is under the tyrannical control of Immortan Joe (Hugh Keays-Byrne). He dilutes the populace with promises of guiding them through these end times and delivering them to Valhalla, sometimes personally. His operation includes a variety of different slaves, including men who churn a monstrous machine that pumps water from the ground, an army of pasty lunatics, simply called the “War Boys”, a row of women who are constantly being pumped for their breast milk, and five wives who he impregnates. He sees everything around him as his property and especially covets the angelic women like Gollum lusts after the One Ring.

But under the sanity of Imperator Furiosa (Theron), the five wives have hope. They escape with the battle hardened woman who burns with a deep hatred for Immortan Joe. Furiosa is in a position of power though, as the driver for the rig that transports precious gasoline, from a lone oil refinery, to the Citadel. With this super fitted and armed to the teeth war rig, she takes off with Immortan Joe’s “property”, sending him into a blind rage. He gathers the war party and storms into the desert with altered vehicles that seem born out of a NASCAR race from Hell.

“Fury Road” is a hot, violent, fever dream in the dunes of despair. There’s so much insanity to cover, I wouldn’t even know where to even begin. The chase after Furiosa drags Max into the fray as he’s used like a sick front hitch ornament for a pursuing vehicle, with his blood literally being siphoned from him into the deranged driver. Then throughout the movie, our enemies, when facing certain death, kamikaze after inhaling what appears to be spray paint, like deranged suicidal junkies. Main villain after villain appears with some sort of disgusting physical complication. While Immortan Joe needs a breathing apparatus, one villain has the teeth of a meth addict and the blind fury of an insane asylum patient, while another appears to be a discount Bond villain with a golden nose, a chain hanging between his pierced nipples, and a severe case of diabetes. And I haven’t even talked about the faceless creature that’s shown constantly playing an electric guitar that shoots flames.

Then there’s the thing you will be hearing about all summer, the stunts and the action. Yes it is relentless and fierce, and yes it avoids CGI, most of the time. Once you hear the sounds of gears shifting and nitrous being kicked on, you’re hooked from scene one. There’s such an adrenaline rush from watching real metal being chewed up and spit out, you can’t take your eyes off the screen. It also helps that every weapon and vehicle is unique in its brutality, while the chase itself seems like structured pandemonium. After watching the green screen CGI, sequel after sequel, and superhero epics, it’s refreshing to watch a realistic circus of carnage.

For being such a grotesque visual spectacle, it manages to be a very thoughtful movie, speaking volumes visually, without uttering a single word. Even though his name is in the title, the movie focuses heavily on Furiosa, who provides the bulk of emotion. While Hardy’s notes must have been very bare, Theron must have had a lot to handle. The movie begins with her as a cold, calculating, man-eater, but as the movie goes on she becomes a ray of hope in an otherwise bleak landscape. But “Mad Max” movies, forego the first, aren’t really about Max. It’s about the world he inhabits along with the people he helps, despite his usual reluctance in the beginning. “Fury Road” is no different. Max joins Furiosa and the five brides on this journey, fraught with despair, but ultimately driving towards hope. It took nearly three decades for all of this to come together, and after an over 10,000 day wait, it was worth every millisecond of my time.

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Film Review “Little Boy”

Starring: Jakob Salvati, David Henrie, and Emily Watson
Directed By: Alejandro Gomez
Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 100 minutes
Open Road Films

Our Score: 2 out of 5 stars

Good intentions, on a movie’s end, can only mean something if the message is delivered in a clear and concise manner. There’s an awkward juggling act going on in “Little Boy” between one too many themes and one too many outlandish characters. All of them eventually get whittled down to blunt stereotypes. There’s a sentimental message in “Little Boy”, but it’s packaged in so many weird and different ways, it ultimately becomes a turn off by the film’s end. The movie’s good intentions can easily be seen as insensitive manipulation.

“Little Boy” has its heart in the right place, but it goes about showing it’s tenderness in the wrong way. Pepper (Salvati) is an adorable little lad, that has stunted growth, or at the most, a growth spurt that is literally waiting around the corner. His best friend, and only friend, is his dad, James (Michael Rapaport). They play together, they imagine together, and they dream together. Their scenes together are thoughtful, but hammy. When Pepper’s obnoxious brother London (Henrie), can’t go overseas to protect our freedom during WWII, because he’s too much of a flat footed doofus, the government instead hand picks James.

“Little Boy” could be have been complacent with this set-up and followed the story of a boy trying to land back on his feet after the departure, and loss, of his best friend. But instead there’s an exhausting list of confusing story arcs and plot points. There’s the town priest that shamelessly ties in the boys confusion and misery with a path towards spiritual enlightenment. There’s a Japanese immigrant in town that draws the ire of the boy, as well as some wince inducing scenes of a young child using derogatory slurs in a vicious manner. There’s the boy’s comic book hero that, through a live performance of the comic book material, convinces Pepper that he’s magical. Then there’s the shoehorned role of Kevin James as a doctor who does nothing in his scenes but eat and flirt with Pepper’s heartbroken mom.

It’s a confusing mess with no steady focus or fluid plot path. There are also some scenes that seem really inconsiderate to the material it’s handling. One scene that comes to mind involves the moving attempting to draw parallels between Pepper being bullied and his father being captured by the enemy to be forced into a POW work camp for torture and starvation. “Little Boy” treats delicate topics similarly to how Lenny from “Of Mice and Men” pets a rabbit.

This isn’t an outright disaster. Some steady and impressive performances by Tom Wilkinson, Emma Watson, and Cary-Hiroyuk Tagawa keep the movie from completely derailing and their presence adds a nice level of believability to an otherwise silly concept. And maybe it’s because so much is happening without a clear future, but there is a level of uncertainty as the movie progresses. Even if you think you know what will happen, it does manage to throw a few curves, even though they’re very sappy.

“Little Boy” is shot on 35mm film stock, which may be a turn off for some who expect crystal clear clarity, but it does somehow add to the general nostalgia of this WWII era film (although I did spot a 21st century currency being used). The movie may have worked best as a flick about tolerance towards other people and the misconceptions our society still has. Or, as I said earlier, it could be about the trials and tribulations of a boy attempting to grow up while his father fights for our freedom. At the end of the day though, the acting skills of Salvati represent the childish direction of a director who clearly hasn’t grasped the concept of mature, thematic content that is the basis for strong dramas.

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Film Review “The Walking Deceased”

Starring: Tim Ogletree, Joey Oglesby, and Dave Sheridan
Directed By: Scott Dow
Rated: R
Running Time: 88 minutes
ARC Entertainment

Our Score 1 out of 5 Stars

“The Walking Deceased” is the brain dead version of “Shaun of the Dead” or “Zombieland”. But I may want to be careful because uttering such clever comedy movies in the same sentence as “The Walking Deceased” could be considered an egregious statement, punishable by death, in some circles. Those circles would be horrified to learn that the creators of “The Walking Deceased” think it’s Kosher to lampoon those two treasured movies. I could only imagine the different forms of medieval torture they believe the creators should endure.

If you have more than the few singular brain cells the films creators had, you can piece together from the title that this movie sets its unfunny comedic sights on the popular AMC TV show, “The Walking Dead”. While the movie starts out as a terrible spoof of the show, it slowly transcends into a dumpster fire with generic juvenile humor. They hope you’ll laugh at the mere sights of breasts or butts. I’m pretty sure better jokes have been told on school playgrounds and better scripts have been written by those in a coma.

The script follows a rag tag group, compromised of different pot shots at characters from popular pop-culture movies and TV shows of the past decade. Once they all meet up, they move from one poorly built comedic set-up to another cheaply designed set piece.

Among this sad bunch of actors is Dave Sheridan, who’s had his fair share of parody and horror movies roles. He plays Sheriff Lincoln, and I mention him only because Sheridan really tries to sell his goofy character and he seems to be the only one with comedic chops. Everyone else seems content with falling back on predictable physical comedy, while others wait for their counterpart to finally say something remotely humorous. Sheridan is by no means an A-lister, but he’s joined by a group of unknowns, playing characters that will only seem familiar if you’re a fan of AMC’s smash hit.

When the movie isn’t finding a strip club during the zombie Apocalypse funny, they’re thinking that they’ll laugh at their Mad Libs word play with character names. This movie also isn’t short of jokes that men with low self-esteems, who spend their free time attacking people they don’t know online, funny. There’s also the plethora of jabs at the “Walking Dead” story arc. So even if you aren’t a general viewer of the AMC show, it’s OK. Even the people who understand what’s being ridiculed can join you in not laughing.

If “A Haunted House” and “Meet the Spartans” are considered the last fleeting breathes from the dying corpse of parody movies, then “Walking Deceased” should be considered one of the final stages of decomposition. If you want some chuckles and fun with your zombie movies, you can never go wrong with a rewatch of “Shaun of the Dead” or simply finding your local repertory theater and hoping that they will be showing “Return of the Living Dead”. If this movie somehow winds up in your hands. Burn it.

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Film Review “Unfriended”

Starring: Shelley Hennig, Moses Jacob Storm, and Renee Olstead
Directed By: Levan Gabriadze
Rated: R
Running Time: 82 minutes
Universal Pictures

Our Score: 1.5 out of 5 stars

I remember when “Paranormal Activity 4” came out, I wondered how well a movie would work when the story is told through the eyes of video chat on a computer, cell phone, or any other form of digital technology. While I never saw the movie and can’t judge on whether or not it worked, I’m sure it had its glaring flaws. It probably had the problem of keeping up the believability that characters would continuously be videochatting in the face of supernatural doom. So here comes “Unfriended”, a movie solely based within a computer screen. The resulting experiment is an absolute mess.

“Unfriended” starts with Blaire (Hennig) looking through a couple of videos of Laura Barns (Heather Sossaman) killing herself. Laura blew her brains out because of a video, of her on Youtube, in an uncompromising scenario (No…not that kind). Blaire is a childhood friend of Laura and still harbors some sorrow, despite the giggles and bitter comments from her friends who never give a reason as to why they have such a vast hatred for Laura. Like most teenagers nowadays (I assume), she begins Skyping with her boyfriend and as soon joined by her dopey friends, compromising of a fat nerdy kid who smokes pot, a blonde airhead, a hot headed macho male, and a girl that nobody likes, but they all still hang around. You know, the 21st Century version of teens that you hate.

As if somehow answered your prayers for something terrible to happen to these high schoolers, a Skype caller joins the conversation. Nobody knows who it is and nobody can drop them from the group video chat. Soon the caller begins sending threatening messages, hacking their Facebook, and seemingly doing things that NSA only wishes they could do to your personal computer. So is Laura coming back from the dead to seek vengeance with her master hacking skills from beyond the grave? Or is it simply a vengeful living person…with master hacking skills?

“Unfriended” combines the excitement of calling IT and the horrors of calling IT. For a movie that’s barely below an hour and a half, it sure seems like a three hour long saga of dull proportions. It’s a concept that seems better fit for a “Twilight Zone” episode, if the “Twilight Zone” was ever rebooted for millennials. It’s also a concept that could justify its runtime if there wasn’t so much overactive screaming at one another, glaring continuity errors, and the inability to touch upon some powerful themes.

Yes. There are some powerful themes behind a movie like this. This is a movie that’s very knowledgeable about the Internet and it’s constantly taking advantage of every current form of digital communication. But it never really finds a way to hit home the idea that everything we do online can come back to haunt us. The videos, pictures, and things we’ve said will always be online. They’ll always be somewhere. “Unfriended” manages to do this at one point in the movie, but fails to incorporate the technology that’s dooming our privacy and backstabbing. Instead of forging a new path, it takes the predictable road and falls back on an abundance of horror movie clichés.

Now, I will give style points where style points are deserved. Having the movie take place entirely through the viewpoint of a computer screen is a bold concept, but one that ultimately becomes very tiring to look at. If we didn’t have to do so much waiting on instant messaging responses, we could easily cut out a good 10 minutes. Essentially though, “Unfriended” is something that’s better for a short film format, but it’s trapped in a bloated feature length movie.

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Film Review “The Longest Ride”

Starring: Britt Robertson, Scott Eastwood, and Alan Alda
Directed By: George Tillman Jr.
Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 139 minutes
20th Century Fox

Our Score 1.5 out of 5 stars

The mere mention of Nicholas Sparks when heading to the theater will make any guy consider cancelling his date night or drive off the nearest overpass. Luckily for me. I have never actually watched a movie based off a Nicholas Sparks book. I guess I’ve been fortunate, but I’ve heard the horror stories. Generally my male counterparts recount the tales of being dragged by their significant other to the movies to watch them like war veterans recount a bloody dog fight in a foreign country. Well I’ve come back from battle and I’m here to tell you my tale.

“The Longest Ride” could be broken down into two stories. One is a legitimate love story that I actually wouldn’t have minded following and the other is simply, wishful thinking. Let’s go over the abysmal second story that has given me the most war scars. Luke (Eastwood) is a good old fashioned country boy dingleberry. He’s good hearted, but thick headed. He nearly dies while bull riding, but despite the doctors warnings, his mother’s wishes, and a handful of people shaking their head, he continues participating in the “sport”. His caution to the wind attitude towards death because he simply wants to spend eight second riding a creature that has just a few less brain cells than him has earned him the nickname Dingleberry for the rest of this review.

Painfully wooing this rugged Southern charmer, is Sophia (Robertson). She has a promising future; she’s very creative and level-headed, but once again, thick headed to the obvious. Against her best judgement, she’s dragged to a professional bull riding event by her sorority sisters who simply want an excuse to drink commercial beer and hopefully hook up with one of the cowboys. The phrase, “I want a cowboy,” is uttered so much, you’ll wish the ticket taker had given you a doggie bag to vomit in.

So why do these two different people become smitten with each other? The heuristic process of deduction would conclude that it’s simply because they’re both physically attractive to one another. Their “deep” conversations in which they bond on an intellectual and emotional level mainly consist about their favorite comfort food. The chemistry between them, as well as our actors portraying them, is non-existent. Unless giggling, remarks about each other naked and lots of staring each other up and down is considered a form of meaningful bonding in Sparks stories.

The other story that enters the fray, luckily, is the one surrounding Ira (Alda). He’s rescued by our two nitwits after his car goes off the road. In his concussed state, he asks Sophia to grab a box from his vehicle. Because she’s just a nosy young adult, she snoops through it and finds stacks of letters written to Ruth, the love of Ira’s life. Their relationship is the stereotypical love at first sight, but their relationship and love has never been easy. Each makes personal sacrifice after personal sacrifice to keep their enduring love going. This story is there to help create this idea that if Ira and Ruth can work even though they were completely different, so should Sophia and Dingleberry. That’s just not the case at all.

What makes Ira and Ruth’s relationship believable is that they both want the same things, but the challenges that life throws at them individually is what causes them to falter, but they continuously refocus on the rewards of their marriage. As for Sophia and Dingleberry, they’re just not meant for each other. Sophia is ambitious, caring and has a career that can fulfill her wild fantasies. Dingleberry, on the other hand, is obsessed with rising to the top in a sport that could kill him and harbors the secret that his doctors have told him to stop from Sophia. Dingleberry is just pompous and selfish. There are no sacrifices on his end. He simply smiles and caresses Sophia hoping that his good looks will simply whitewash the fact he’s a bumbling Neanderthal.

“The Longest Ride” is the most painfully long romance movies I’ve seen. While the themes and ideas behind what Ira speaks ring true, they don’t ring true for the predicament in which Dingleberry is involved. Maybe Sparks should have just cut out the one good story and let it be a standalone. So. That’s my war story. I’ve done my time. Now heed my warning. You’re better driving off the overpass on your way to the theater.

 

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Film Review “Furious 7”

Starring: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, and Jason Statham
Directed By: James Wan
Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 137 minutes
Universal Pictures

Our Score: 3.5 out 5 Stars

You know what? You really don’t need to any of the other movies in “The Fast and The Furious” franchise. This a series that’s gone from being about petty street racing thieves to illegal street racers globetrotting and fighting villain’s born from the military’s disenfranchised. If your idea of fun is watching cars parachute out of a plane and attack like a swarm of Navy SEALS or a car driving through three skyscrapers, then “Furious 7” is going to make your pants explode.

So what’s the story? A die hard “Furious” fan could probably lay out the little intricate details better than I can because I haven’t watched all of them. But it’s not a deep story that requires cliff notes. It’s a fairly simple story that anyone can acquaint themselves with quickly. The crew, Dominic (Diesel), Brian (Walker), Luke (Dwayne Johnson), Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), Roman (Tyrese Gibson) and Tej (Chris Bridges) are all back in the states, trying to maintain normal lives. However, hunting them one by one is the baddie of the film, Deckard (Statham). He’s a highly trained, professional, killer. The crew needs to get back together once again to turned become the hunters. But they’ll need to get a computer program that will track down the illusive Deckard.

There’s more to it than that, but I mean, who cares? Sure there are some blasé subplots, but you didn’t pay for a movie ticket to watch Dominic and Letty rekindle their romance or Brian attempting to live the suburbanite lifestyle. Hell no. You came to watch a camera follow wet hot, dripping girls, do things in slow motion, and watch cars whiz by at stupid high speeds, with stupid big explosions, and other stupid action that will leave you looking thunderstruck. “Furious 7” delivers that and more.

The problem with a movie that’s so exciting in terms of its action, is that it makes the emotional or dramatic scenes that much more stodgy. Obviously this is Paul Walker’s last film and it was important for the franchise, the actors, and everyone involved to send him off in a respectable way. But it really does nothing for me. This is a movie that has a predator drone fly around L.A and unblinkingly fires off missiles and blast it’s machine guns wildly, possibly killing numerous off-screen civilians. I’m not too concerned that Brian’s character gets to walk off peacefully into the sun with a catastrophic body count taking place.

What “Furious 7” needs to do is trim some story fat so that we have nothing, but the prime cut. But is “Furious 7” the action movie of the year? That’s yet to be seen with “Mad Max: Fury Road” coming out on the horizon. “Furious 7” will probably be the most profitable. Since watching the first “The Fast and the Furious” movie back in 2001, it’s definitely transitioned away from the somewhat respectable street racing movie that set the trend for others that followed it. It’s been a slow transition to the insane ride of “Furious 7” that attempts to one up every outlandish stunt. What we have after 14 years of treading through frivolous story is an insanely cartoonish movie. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

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Film Review “Home”

Starring the Voices Of: Jim Parsons, Rihanna, and Steve Martin
Directed By: Tim Johnson
Rated: PG
Running Time: 94 minutes
20th Century Fox

Our Score: 3.5 out of 5 stars

“Every once and a while…we knock it out of the park!” That should be Dreamworks Animation’s motto. “Home” will be their 31st movie, and since 1998, the studio hasn’t had as many home runs as Pixar and they only have two Oscars for Best Animated Feature. They won one for Best Original Song, but I’m sure no one at the office is hanging their hat on that one. “Home” is another adequate entry into Dreamworks Animation’s young history, but nothing to rave about.

“Home” is an adaptation of the book that I’ve never heard of, “The True Meaning of Smekday”. The movie revolves around the alien species, the Boov, but more specifically Oh (Parsons). He’s oblivious to his friendlessness and a general nuisance to the other Boov around him. His speech pattern is that of a Kindergartener learning proper English and his best qualities are made up of Olaf from “Frozen” and his worst qualities border on Jar-Jar Binks from an unmentionable prequel.

The Boov are a species that are constantly on the run, fearing the wrath of another alien race by the name of Gorg. Their tactic for avoiding destruction by the angry Gorg involves inhabiting Earth and forcibly abducting and relocating every human being on the planet to Australia; forcing them to live in gated communities (I’m sure the pitfalls of this plan are highly entertaining). Through a series of events, Oh accidentally alerts the Gorg to the Boov’s presence on Earth and becomes a fugitive of his own species. He runs into Tip (Rihanna), who has managed to avoid capture and is hiding out in her empty home, eating cans of pasta. This sets off a slightly amusing roadtrip/chase with a preteen and clueless space creature.

“Home” is obviously setting its sights on the children in the audience, with very few inside jokes for adults; although most will enjoy the comical voice stylings of Steve Martin as the leader of the Boov, Smek. You might wince at seeing Rihanna’s name, considering her persona in the entertainment industry and how she’s portrayed in the media. You also might be scratching your head at that acting choice considering her previous credits are “Battleship” and “This is the End”. She doesn’t quite carry the same silliness that Martin and Parsons bring to their character, but she has a believable tween voice. Her voice always sounds playful and youthful, and it’s actually a creditable dose of voice work on her part.

Halfway through I noticed that Rihanna’s contract must have stipulated that the entire soundtrack must be crafted by her since she’s seemingly on every song. It’s hard to pack an emotional punch when a movie’s soundtrack consists of “As Real As You and Me” and “Drop That”. It’s almost like creators of some of these movies are worried they won’t speak to an eight-year-old if they don’t throw in some contemporary hip-hop dance tracks.

“Home” is still an enjoyable time. Some moments move at blistering speeds, with aliens zipping to and fro with visual jokes and audible humor firing off left and right. When it has to rely on our two lone heroes with nothing, but themselves in a car, it struggles. Maybe Dreamworks should start cherry picking what they want to do next, or at the very least, put more effort into their promising projects. “Home” has the pieces for something remarkable, but none of the heart to stay with us.

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Film Review “Insurgent”

Starring: Shailene Woodley, Theo James, and Kate Winslet
Directed By: Robert Schwentke
Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 119 minutes
Summit Entertainment

Our Score: 1 out of 5 stars

The dystopian young adult movie genre is becoming crowded as of late. The worst of the bunch were once a mere fatigue, but are now becoming a headache pounding hangover. As long as there is a cash cow to milk, we can expect more attractive heroes and heroines facing off against dull malefactors with penchants for tyranny. Some of these, like the “The Hunger Games”, are quite good. But the Divergent series appears to be an exercise in futility and “Insurgent” is the latest offering in ineptitude.

I tried as hard as I could to put the events of “Divergent” out of my mind, but unfortunately for me, there’s a lot of character exposition and annoying recounts to begin our movie. Tris (Woodley) is still the individualistic focal point of our story. She’s on the lam with her lover Four (James), and a duo of actors who make up Woodley’s on-screen romances in other films. These four are hiding out in Amity, one of the factions in the five personality-based factions inhabiting this world. Amity is this movie’s version of hippies, without the LSD, so they’re perfectly content with harmful fugitives arguing amongst themselves in their peaceful farming village.

This won’t last long because this world’s odious, self-imposed ruler, Jeanine (Winslet), is scouring the lands for them. She leads the Dauntless, the army of this dystopian wasteland. And big surprise, they’re the ones trying to find a way to control and eliminate the other factions. Of course you would know all this if you’re a fan of the series or saw the first movie. If you’re neither of these, I would like to tell you that “Cinderella” is still in theaters and a much better bang for your buck, and less harmful for your young ones.

I say that because “Insurgent” ups the violence ante with more bloodless fights, a gratuitous, yet nudeless “love” scene, and a lot of off-screen gun executions. For such a passionless movie, it doesn’t help that there’s so much soulless murder of characters. Even as an adult, and having seen my fair share of unjustifiable bloodletting in movies, watching violence without purpose in something that is attempting to cash in on the young adult crowd, feels malformed.

While the brutality adds to the directionless narrative, the acting talents of many of the stars in this movie are wasted throughout. Despite some great efforts, and dreary stares by stars like Kate Winslet and Naomi Watts, the acting gets lost in laughably bad scenes and confusing character motivations. Take for instance the fact that Jeanine wants to open a mystery box that she believes holds the key to destroying the Divergents, but it can only be opened by a Divergent. Which seems like an odd thesis on Jeanine’s part, further complicated by the fact that she operates the military and could simply just wipe out all the Divergents with countless killing machines at her disposal. Maybe I’m just overthinking that one.

At the end of the day, you know the mystery box will be opened and you know it will be Tris who ends up opening it. “Insurgent” is as predictable as it is vapid. It’s offensive to decent writing and a slap in the face to well thought out young adult movies that grow and mature. Instead of distinguishing itself, it takes some tired old clichés and believes that the casual viewer will go for mere eye candy and “heart pounding” action. Please tell the conniving studio executives you’re tired of unimaginative filth by not seeing “Insurgent”. And save me the time and anguish because someone told me there’s still a third book they can make into a movie.

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Film Review “Cinderella (2015)”

Starring: Lily James, Richard Madden, and Cate Blanchett
Directed By: Kenneth Branagh
Rated: PG
Running Time: 112 Minutes
Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures

Our Score 4 out of 5 stars

From European folk tale to Disney classic to one of the most reincarnated, reimagined and adapted movies in my life. Just a quick Internet search turned up at least a dozen adaptations within my lifetime of the fairy tale. I’m certain that further research could uncover at least one redesign of the beloved movie for every year I’ve been alive. I merely point this out because a lot could have gone wrong with this live-action update, but I’m happy to say it greatly exceeded my bare minimum expectations.

We all know the story of “Cinderella” right? I mean, unless you’re eight-years-old or younger or you’re Amish, there’s a high probability that you know the story. There are some cruel stepsisters, an even more fiendish stepmother that berates the unfortunately orphaned Cinderella. Cinderella beats out the odds and misfortunes of life with the help of a fairy godmother. With magical help, she attends a lavish ball, enchants the prince and leaves a memento for him to chase her down with, a glass slipper. This is a story that’s been told hundreds of times, so I hope you know what I’m talking about. Now, I’m not here to argue the necessity of another or new “Cinderella” movie, but I’m going to tell you that it’s not a rushed cash grab. It probably is a cash grab for the young ones who don’t know “Cinderella”, but at least they’re getting something of quality and substance.

While Lily James, who plays Cinderella, is obviously the focal point, Blanchett really steals the scenes as her venomous stepmother. She starts as a haughty socialite, but Blanchett transforms slowly over the movie into a bitter hag who puppeteers the weakest people around her. Helena Bonham Carter enters as the fairy godmother and is also quite delightful in her small, but significant role. As for Richard Madden as the prince who inevitably falls for Cinderella, he just stands there and looks pretty; Which isn’t a bad thing.

The real high marks for me in this movie are the set and costume designs. While the wide shots of the sprawling castle are obviously CGI, the exquisite ball and all its guests are real and in real costumes. The vast, but snug cottage that Cinderella is in has a Victorian appeal. The movie feels grand while remaining intimate in it’s settings. Everything could have easily been green screened, but it’s great to see a filmmaker and crew that understands tradition and puts in a time-honored effort of good old fashioned design. It’s a well-made, guilty pleasure for Disneyphiles and a refreshing blast from Disney’s treasured past for everyone else.

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Filed Under: Film Reviews Tagged With: 2015, cinderella, film, review

Film Review “Unfinished Business”

Starring: Vince Vaughn, Tom Wilkinson, and Dave Franco
Directed By: Ken Scott
Rated: R
Running Time: 91 Minutes
20th Century Fox

Our Score: 1 out of 5 stars

I would have really liked to enjoy “Unfinished Business”. I really would have. I like Vince Vaughn and believe that his mere presence can perk up the lamest of scripts and that his demeanor can bring life into the dullest of ideas. He’s managed to polish up some of Hollywood’s comedic turds into something that’s passable, but maybe he’s finally hit that wall where he can’t save a script. Or that charm has finally run out for me. Either way, “Unfinished Business” is the low point of Vince Vaughn’s career.

Dan Trunkman (Vaughn) has started his own small sales business and his only employees are Timothy McWinters (Wilkinson) and Mike Pancake (Franco), and that last name is not a typo. His last name is Pancake. If that didn’t make you laugh, then I hate to tell you that that’s a reoccurring that joke that wears thin after the first time, much like most of the humor in this movie.

Dan is the only character with any form of depth or range. He’s a family man who’s struggling to keep his tiny firm above water and worries about whether his children can continue going to private school. There’s also the struggle of being a role model for those kids and the two incompetent employees he’s ended up with. As for Tim, he’s just a dirty old man. Mike is the opposite. He’s a naive boy who apparently hasn’t lost his virginity until all three men need to make a business trip overseas to Europe. Tim and Mike play as one note jokes with Tim constantly talking about how much he wants to wheelbarrow (look it up) a girl and Mike who constantly gives a goofy grin and schoolboy chuckle, followed by an ingenuous question. I honestly can’t think of any other jokes that this movie attempted.

There is this plot about Dan having to land a deal with a company and facing off against his former boss/colleague, but it’s never played out and adds to the general incomplete feeling this movie finds itself in. It pitches itself as a debauchery filled trip for the little guy in corporate America, but there’s only about two to five minutes dedicated to the actually vulgarity of partying and half of that is montages. As for the little guy sticking it to the big bad businesses they find themselves competing with, that’s a missed opportunity heaped upon other missed other opportunities. Most of “Unfinished Business” finds itself stumbling into lazy gags and foreign scenery.

When I heard that Vince Vaughn would be on the second season of HBO’s “True Detective”, I was excited because Vaughn has so much thespianism to offer, but consistently finds himself biting on low hanging fruit. After watching “Unfinished Business”, I’m not as excited and worried that he may be relegated to a secondary character that’s still unbecoming of his acting gift.

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Film Review “Hot Tub Time Machine 2”

Starring: Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson and Clark Duke
Directed By: Steve Pink
Rated: R
Running Time: 93 minutes
Paramount Pictures

Our Score: 3 out of 5 stars

Let’s go back to very late 2009. I was still in college and people were using Facebook since there was no Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat or other form of social media to fill up our limitless down time. This was when we truly shared every little thing on Facebook because we didn’t yet know or understand the consequences of our oversharing. I remember specifically when the trailer for the first “Hot Tub Time Machine” was released. Every status update ripped into it and I remember thinking, “There’s no way in hell this could be remotely good.” Despite my gut reaction, I still saw and was pleasantly surprised. So rewind to not too long ago to 2014 and seeing a trailer for the sequel and thinking the exact same thing. I am once again wrong, but not by much.

This sequel brings back nearly everyone from the first, except John Cusack, who is jokingly mentioned when his character’s absence is brought up. Craig Robinson is still loveable as Nick, Rob Corddry once again brings back his Danny McBride-like contemptible Lou, and then there’s Clark Duke who plays Jacob. Sorry. He’s still just a character who’s kind of a fourth wheel (technically third wheel now) to the group. Since the first movie, the trio of used their knowledge of the future to augment their life. Nick steals ideas from songs that have not yet been crafted, Lou simply blurts out technological advances before their time and Jacob just follows along the coattails of Lou. Like I said, fourth wheel.

Of course Lou is still a miserable troll who irks everyone who crosses his path. So when someone shoots him at one of his lavish parties, they must use the hot tub time machine to go into the past to find who shot him and why. Of course in this movie, they go into the future, but create an alternate time line so technically it’s still the past…I’ll just avoid the confusion and say that they’re in the future which will result in them finding out what happened in the past. They at least make light of this troublesome plot.

What makes this sequel admirable is it’s ability to find every way to jump the shark while drawing out a filthy laugh from you. “22 Jump Street” set the mark for making a comedy sequel, but “Hot Tub Time Machine 2” manages to point a few things that are worth noting. They manage to point out the stolen sci-fi formulas they’re playing with and the absurdity of them. Also by the movies end, they manage to point out some of the predictable set-ups that today’s comedies have fallen into. When a unnecessary comedy sequel points that out, it might be time for the rest of Hollywood’s comedy writers to take note and change up their comedic ingredients.

I should probably quit heaping praise on this movie because it’s not without it’s flaws. This is still a movie that has to introduce another character to demote Jacob to fourth wheel. The introduction of Adam Scott as the son of John Cusack’s character is welcome, but doesn’t quite fill the hole that Cusack left behind. Cusack provided a reliable straight man while Scott is simply the virgin who gets to pop his party cherry. It’s fun, but not the right component for the group that needs a voice of sanity.

Ultimately the movie is choppy, but clever enough at trying to stay new. It’s unwarranted, but funny enough for a one time viewing for fans of the original. I wish it would have maken light of the fact that it’s a redundant sequel to a bizarre comedy. Maybe when “Hot Tub Time Machine 3” (let’s hope not) rolls around, it’ll realize how much of a cash grab for Paramount Pictures it has become and create the ultimate meta, middle finger.

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Film Review “Blackhat”

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Viola Davis and Wei Tang
Directed By: Michael Mann
Rated: R
Running Time: 133 minutes
Universal Pictures

Our Score: 1.5 out of 5 stars

May I state the obvious? I shall. It seems like every week, and sometimes every day, there’s a breaking update on how someone’s social media account was hacked or how hacktivists have leaked thousands of valuable government or company documents (U.S. military and Sony, I’m looking at you). Cyber terrorism might end up being the most highly used news term for 2015 with how the landscapes of battles are changing. It’s a fascinating new realm in which to play with story ideas and birth high concepts. So why does “Blackhat” feel like such an outdated product?

Scrawny, pencil thin nerds are what we’ve come to expect in techno thrillers. We imagine them sitting behind a computer, clicking and clacking away at the keyboard, pushing their glasses up the brim of their nose, but instead we have the muscular, wavy golden haired Chris Hemsworth. He plays Nicholas Hathaway, one of the world’s greatest hackers, who’s incarcerated and still able to hack from prison by the way. He does push-ups in solitary, talks with piercing confidence, and seems un-phased by life in prison.

His skills will be needed after a criminal begins hacking his way into the financial systems of China and causes a nuclear power plant to go haywire. He’s recruited by Chen (Leehom Wang), a high ranking military expert for the Chinese government who, by the strangest coincidences of the movie, was Nick’s college roommate. They may have just as well have lived across the hall from our criminal by that logic.

After some unnecessary negotiations with Chinese and U.S. governments to get Nick free, the two meet, and along for the ride, is Chen’s sister, Lien (Tang). Oh by the way, she’s also a master hacker, computer expert, and anything else the script requires. The exact moment Nick and Lien lay eyes on each other, you know they’re going to hook up. It’s usually an obligatory character relationship that’s created to add tension or complicate matters for our group. It doesn’t.

The more I think about “Blackhat”, the more I wonder when this was written and who wrote it. Nick’s on the trail of a supposed genius that neither the U.S. or Chinese government can catch, but his knack for picking up on clues or finding evidence is ludicrously easy or frustratingly unrealistic. It makes you wonder why neither government wouldn’t already have the manpower or staff to catch someone who, as the movie says, is incredibly dangerous. Although it’s example as to why he’s so dangerous is because he’s not doing these attacks for political or financial gain. By the way, one of those ends up being true anyway.

It’s really hard to flat out hate something that tries so admirably. It’s almost like listening to a kindergarten class sing a beloved song. They’re butchering it, but they definitely got some room to grow. Director Michael Mann’s previous movies include “Last of the Mohicans” and “Heat”, but loses so much dramatic flair amidst techno babble. The cast is spick and span despite a baffling script. There are some neat visuals and gorgeous establishing shots. But this movie is just frustrating because it just can’t bring everything together.

Someone might want to consider programming some better hardware into this movie before releasing it. There’s a lot to enjoy, but it’s suppressed by mundane talk sets. It’s even more vexing for me because I keep trying to put my finger on it. What happened? It has a style that screams exciting, but constantly had me stretching my legs and covering my mouth as I yawned.

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Film Review “Selma”

Starring: David Oyelowo, Tom Wilkinson, and Carmen Ejogo
Directed By: Ava Duvernay
Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 127 minutes
Paramount Pictures

Our Score: 4 out of 5 stars

A curious thought popped into my head while I watched “Selma”, has there ever been a movie about the late, great, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.? None came to mind and after doing a simple Internet search after the movie, it appears that no mainstream motion picture has attempted to tackle such an arduous task. And even though his life was only 39 years long, there’s so much storied history to attempt to adapt, it seems like an almost impossible feat to cherry pick the nuggets that are worth portraying. “Selma” does an admirable job finding the right event that parallels the present day struggles.

“Selma” places it’s microscope over 1965, dropping us in Selma, Alabama. The main flare up for controversy is voter registration. Anytime an African-American would attempt to register to vote, they were met insanely hard tests, economic/financial pressure, and of course, the looming threat of violence from residents and the Ku Klux Klan. While there is a civil rights movement, it’s very weak, quiet, and disorganized. Enter Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (Oyelowo).

King’s presence gives a clearer focus to the angry groups of black people, which seemingly make up a decent percent of the town. The temptation of giving up or simply raising an angry fist to their oppressors is quelled by the soothing words of King. The scenes that work best is when King’s comforting a family mourning the loss of a loved one or withholding aggressive words in diplomatic discussions with President Lyndon Johnson.

Oyelowo gracefully handles King as best one could. Those famous words we all know from King (the “I Have a Dream” speech) are lacking from this movie, but in it’s place are some powerful, stirring calls for action and Oyelowo combines strength and determination while balancing humility. It’s a difficult task to come off so true to King’s persona, but Oyelowo does it. It helps that he has a fine cast surrounding him, including Tom Wilkinson, Tim Roth, and others who I am sure will have a future in Hollywood.

“Selma” would not have worked as a straight biopic, but works magnificently as a focus on grassroots activism. It does get a bit muddled when adding the subplot of King’s relationship with his wife. It also doesn’t help when it keeps cutting to gratuitous shots of Oprah Winfrey’s incredibly minor character. Of course when you’re one of the film’s producers, you can be on screen as much as you want. “Selma” is just a progressive step short of taking the stage with other grand movies, but I’m sure it’ll still gladly take a heaping plate of nominations.

As for it’s message, you’ll either get it or you won’t. And if you do get it, you’ll love it or you won’t. That’s perfectly fine though because whether you want to admit it or not, there’s still a big problem when it comes to equality and oppression. I’m not here to make a political statement or stand up on any soap box, but there’s something to be said about the powerful imagery featuring peaceful protesters being bashed with batons and chased down police in riot gear.

 

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Film Review “Annie (2014)”

Starring: Quvenzhane Wallis, Jamie Foxx, and Rose Byrne
Directed By: Will Gluck
Rated: PG
Running Time: 118 minutes
Columbia Pictures

Our Score: 3 out of 5 stars

I need to be upfront with everyone. I have never seen any previous creation of “Annie”. I’ve never laid eyes upon the 1982 original film adaptation, I haven’t viewed a live stage production, or have taken the time to watch either made-for-TV movies on the little orphan. Like most though, I do know the basic premise, and the songs “Tomorrow” and “It’s the Hard Knock Life”. I also have fond memories of the delightful scene in “Serial Mom” where a woman is battered to death while singing along to the movie. I’m not telling you to not to take my opinion seriously or with a grain of salt, but just keep in mind, I had no expectations. With that said, “Annie” is probably your best bet for family fun this holiday season.

Annie (Wallis) is a cheeky young girl gallivanting around Harlem and searching for her parents, believing that they will return to her one day. Then they will be the happy family she dreams they will be. Annie lives with other foster children in the care of Miss Colleen Hannigan (Cameron Diaz). She’s soaked in booze and uses every vocal opportunity she has to put Annie down.

In the much nicer, cleaner and more brightly lit part of town, is Will Stacks (Foxx). He’s an isolationist cell phone tycoon and an absolute germaphobe. Not as bad as Howard Hughes though. His habits don’t mix well with his current mission, to become the mayor of New York City. Watching him in action, you actually wonder how someone like him went along with the idea of becoming a public official for one of the world’s largest cities in the first place. At one point he spits up mashed potatoes on a homeless person.

So by pure chance, these two meet. Stacks “saves” Annie’s life and he quickly disregards Annie, right after applying some hand sanitizer, as to not get any poor on him. His circle of trust, the lovely Grace (Byrne) and the skeevy Guy (Bobby Canavale) see the potential to increase his likeability amongst the populace by having him temporarily adopt Annie. Annie simply sees this as another great opportunity in life although she’s fully aware she’s a political ploy. Hijinks, flashy tech, and montages ensue along with some catchy tunes that I haven’t heard besides the aforementioned songs.

The highest praise I can give this movie isn’t to the movie itself, but to Rose Byrne and Quvenzhane Wallis. The actresses already radiate a delightful charm by themselves, but together they’re quite endearing. Their scenes together feel like the most genuine among any of the other characters. While most dialogue in “Annie” feels hokey or nauseatingly cute, the conversations between their two characters feel honest. It’s almost like they give each other some meaningful girl power to help propel their own self-esteem and optimistic outlook.

Outside of that, there are a list of negatives, including an overacting Cameron Diaz, an odd pro and anti-capitalist slant, and hit or miss self-aware winks towards the camera; just to name a few. What had me push all those aside is the charming energy this pumped into me. I tapped my toes, I smiled, I laughed, and if you have any kind of happy reaction to something, it’s worth noting.

While I may have nothing to compare “Annie” to in terms of its predecessors and stories, I must note that it comes off playfully mocking towards the original source content. It’s almost like it knows that what it’s doing is sure to piss some people off, such as fans of the original. Well. I’m not a fan of the original. I enjoyed its taunts, its urban take on the original score, and it’s smug cuteness.

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Filed Under: Film Reviews Tagged With: 2014, annie, film, review

Author Jason Offutt talks about his latest book “A Funeral Story”

Depending on who you ask, Jason Offutt is one of the leading journalists on things that go bump in the night, or he’s the helpful professor for hundreds of future journalism students at Northwest Missouri State University. Both can agree though, he’s a damn good writer. Avid readers of Jason’s work might be surprised by his next release, “A Funeral Story”. Instead of providing a good non-fiction scare, and a need to leave a nightlight on, Jason has crafted a fiction book that will have people snickering and laughing as they turn the page. Jason Offutt took time during a busy finals week at Northwest to talk with Media Mikes about his first novel.

Jeremy Werner: Alright Jason, tell us about “A Funeral Story”
Jason Offutt: “A Funeral Story” is a story about a 30-year-old man that still lives at home, plays dungeon and dragons with his old high school buddies every Friday and nobody knows that he likes to pick up and have sex with strange women at funerals.

JW: (laughs) Where does an idea like that come from?
JO: I have no idea, actually, where it came from. I was sitting at Kansas City International Airport waiting for a flight to Houston and it just popped into my head. I carry a notebook everywhere and I probably wrote three chapters as I was waiting on a plane.

JW: So this isn’t based on anyone?
JO: No. Nobody at all.

JW: Do you see any of yourself in this character?
JO: No. I never picked up any strange people at funerals…I think lots of writers do this, they try to put people in ridiculous situations and see how they react. And somebody trying to pick up sex at a funeral is probably the most extreme I could think of. That’s probably where it came from.

JW: I’ve read the book and it can be pretty filthy. Was there any part of you that was worried about publishing something like this?
JO: Well…a little bit because what I’ve written before is family friendly. So to that extent, yes. I am going to put a warning out there for people who are use to my non-fiction that this is not family friend, but one of the things that I’ve been known to do is take things to a level that people probably shouldn’t go to. (laughs) That’s what I did with this.

JW: Now, if someone who doesn’t know you was to look at your previous writing examples, and even people who’ve read all your works, they’ll notice you usually write about the paranormal. Were you starting to get burnt out on writing about the paranormal or did you just want a change of scenery?
JO: Right. I’ve been finding that out. I’m going to be on a Travel Channel show this season because I’m the go-to paranormal guy. But…I’ve always wanted to write novels. Ever since I was 10-years-old, I remember telling my parents I’ve wanted to write novels when I grew up and of course they laughed, rubbed my head, and sent me off to play. But that’s something I’ve wanted to do forever. I’ve been stuck with the non-fiction mainly because I was a journalist for 17 years and that’s what I’ve done. And I finally decided…if I want to write novels, I should probably do it because if I don’t now, I’m going to regret it later.

JW: Is this your first novel?
JO: It’s my first novel being published. I wrote one before it that’s being published in a year from January. I got two novels coming out in 2016. They’re a book series on…it’s an apocalyptic type series.

JW: Are you going to stick with fiction for a while or do you see yourself going back to writing about paranormal occurrences and what not?
JO: If the right subject, the right book hits me, yeah, I’ll definitely go back to non-fiction. But I’m having a lot of fun right now writing fiction.

JW: In terms of your fiction writing, do you ever see yourself straying away from humor and going more for a serious tone?
JO: No matter what I write, something funny comes out because that’s just what I’m use to. I really, really want to write a horror story. I really want to write something terrifying. So that’s something I got going on in the future.

JW: I assume you’ll pull some inspiration from some of the real-life horror stories you’ve heard from people.
JO: Oh yes. I’m definitely going to heavily rely on the non-fiction work that I’ve done on the paranormal and on ghosts, spirits, monsters. I think that’ll help…lend it a lot of realism.

JW: I know you’re always working on something. Do you have anything that you’re piecing together and working on now?
JO: I’m working on something. I’ve got a lot of notes down. My wife and I just had a baby about a month and a half ago.
JW: Oh wow. Congratulations. I didn’t hear that.
JO: Well, (laughs) it was a bit of a surprise because I had vasectomy six years ago.
JW: Oh. Holy crap.
JO: (laughs) Yeah…I was OK six years ago, everything went well, but I was one in a couple of thousand people that found out my super power is I can heal myself. So I took notes throughout the pregnancy and wrote a bunch of funny stuff that happened. The tentative name for the book is “The Vasectomy Diaries”.

JW: I know you’ve written about your kids and being a father before. Do you still do that?
JO: I still write a weekly humor column and I write funny stuff about the kids, once and a while when they do something ridiculous, which is quite a bit. So I still do that kind of writing.

JW: I know you have a lot of different projects and there was a monster killing book you were working on. How’s that coming along?
JO: I found a publisher and it’s coming out in January.
JW: Tell us about it.
JO: The book’s called “How to Kill Monsters Using Common Household Items”. It’s a book about what would happen if the monsters took over and invaded your house. What do you have if a werewolf breaks into your house? What do you have lying around that you can use to kill it? And I go through just random things around your house that could kill a werewolf, vampire, demonic clown, gnome, killer robot from the future, velociraptor, lots of other different types of monsters.

JW: Is this another humor book or could it be considered real advice?
JO: It’s more humor, but you know what? You could seriously beat a zombie to death with a prosthetic leg. So it’s pretty handy.

JW: How many monsters do you cover in this?
JO: 14. Including reanimated corpses like Frankenstein’s monster, dragons and your evil twin from an alternate dimension.

JW: Do you ever see writing as your full-time gig?
JO: That…I think that is about every writer’s dream, to do it full time, but realistically…there are only about 120 writers in the country, that’s all they do is write books. I could see that if I got successful, but you know what? I really enjoy teaching college students. So even if I did get to the point where I could write books for a living, I don’t know if I would. I think I’d keep teaching.

“A Funeral Story” is available December 19th.
You can check out Jason at his website, http://www.jasonoffutt.com, or follow him on Twitter: @TheJasonOffutt
You can also read his writings, at jasonoffutt.blogspot.com and at from-the-shadows.blogspot.com

 

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Filed Under: Author Interviews, Interviews Tagged With: author, book, funeral, jason, offutt, story, ...
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