Film Review “Jem and the Holograms”

Starring: Aubrey Peeples, Stefanie Scott and Hayley Kiyoko
Directed By: Jon M. Chu
Rated: PG
Running Time: 118 minutes
Universal Pictures

Our Score: 1.5 out of 5 Stars

I’m not the target audience for “Jem and the Holograms” and in fact, you may not be the target audience either. If you are under the age of 15, understand things like social media and Youtube, and like poppy rock music, then by all means go see “Jem and the Holograms”; you’ll love it. As for those hoping to relive their Generation X childhood or be reminded of those Saturday morning cartoon watching days in the late 1980’s, you’ll be disappointed.

“Jem and the Holograms” comes from director Jon M. Chu, who’s been stuck directing movies for niche audiences. Chu has two “Step Up” movies and a pair of Justin Bieber flicks under his belt and they aren’t necessarily fodder for the general populous. For those who are the clear target of Chu’s previous movies, they eat it up, but “Jem and the Holograms” is difficult. It seems to be caught between entertaining an audience with feelings of nostalgia and a millennial crowd that doesn’t have nostalgia yet.

Jerrica (Peeples) lives with her sister Kimber (Scott), two cousins and her Aunt Bailey (Molly Ringwald). Jerrica lost her father at a young age and only has fleeting memories left of him. She’s a shy, but talented girl who on a sporadic whim, records herself singing a tune she wrote. She immediately feels embarrassed that she threw on a wig along with thick pink eyeliner, and sang something personal under the moniker, Jem. She quickly asks the tech-savvy Kimber to delete it from their digital camera. Kimber secretly doesn’t.

Realizing Jerrica’s talent, Kimber uploads the video to Youtube. The acoustic, soulful song quickly garners millions of views, likes, and the attention of music industry leader, Erica Raymond (Juliette Lewis). In the digital age where there are no secrets; Raymond sees the marketability of a cultural mystery. Everyone wants to know who “Jem” is and Raymond is ready to market the hell out of that question.

At times, “Jem and the Holograms” is narratively confusing. It fluctuates between glossing over character building and expanding upon unnecessary plots. Honestly, the characters would be a lot more relatable or interesting if we knew more about them. It would also help if we knew the ballpark age of the girls. The quartet has no trouble dropping out of school to pursue a music contract without the consent of an adult or the input of their aunt, if they are in school. Sometimes it makes about as much sense as a Looney Tunes short. It’s one of those movies that you’re better off not applying logic to.

Chu’s direction feels lazy as he incorporates Youtube and Instagram videos to reflect the alleged tone of a scene or the feelings of our characters. There’s also a lot of cringe worthy scenes, including one where Jerrica glances too long at a naked, with nothing but a towel, manager by the name of Rio (Ryan Guzman), that’s in charge of watching the girls. It really becomes unsettling if you begin to wonder how old Jerrica is and how old Rio is since it looks like he wouldn’t be carded when ordering a beer at the bar. Like I said…you’re better off not thinking about it…or seeing this movie.

When “Jem and the Holograms” isn’t stumbling around at an embarrassing pace, there are some genuinely good moments. The music is pretty good considering the musicianship in this movie is a complete facade. Juliette Lewis chews enough scenery that I wondered if she was going to eat the screen. It also helps that it has a decent message about individualism and possibly teaches some of the younger viewers about unflinching acceptance for others who are just simply different. The only problem is that that message comes in by the end and doesn’t ring as loudly as the music.

Overall, “Jem and the Holograms” is a visually unoriginal mess that feels more like an insult to the TV show it’s based off than it does an honest reboot. Despite my trashing, it’s an alright movie for the young ones to see. And I’ll admit that the right eye, the right ideas, and the right director could have made a movie that’s worthy of regenerating interest in a 30 year old TV show. But it appears like the masterminds at Hasbro, who own Jem, realized the best way to cash in on old merchandise is a shiny new package without any fresh content.

Film Review “Goosebumps”

Starring: Jack Black, Dylan Minnette and Odeya Rush
Directed By: Rob Letterman
Rated: PG
Running Time: 103 minutes
Columbia Pictures

Our Score: 3.5 out of 5 Stars

It’s difficult for me to talk about “Goosebumps” without talking about the popular book series that exploded in popularity in the 90’s, especially when I’m a product of the 90’s. Having owned over 20 books as a kid and reading through all of them, some of the multiple times, it’s safe to say I owe a lot of my current tastes in horror, sci-fi, and humor to those books. What R.L. Stine managed to do in that short lived series was spawn scares, laughs, morality, and even a hint of something sinister. He breathed creativity in the lives of thousands of children. While the movie is far from reinventing the “Goosebumps” wheel, it does respect its source material, and by doing so, spawns an entertaining funhouse flick.

Zach (Minnette) and his mom have just recently moved to Greendale, Maryland. Both of them are escaping the hustle and bustle of New York, as well as an unspoken tragedy. Zach’s assimilation into school is difficult since his mom is the new vice principal and he seems generally disinterested in his new surroundings. The only thing to catch his interest in a sea of hormones is the mysterious Hannah (Rush) and her equal mysterious father, played by Jack Black. Zach develops a crush on Hannah, and at the same time, suspects that something menacing is going on next door.

Those suspicions grow as he hears screams next door. It even gets to the point that Hannah’s father refuses to acknowledge Hannah’s existence to other people. So while Zach’s mom chaperones a dance, he breaks into Hannah’s home. Inside he finds a book case with “Goosebumps” manuscripts. In fact, every “Goosebumps” manuscript. The typescripts are mysteriously locked up though. Zach quickly finds out why, as well as the fact that Hannah’s father is none other than the author of “Goosebumps”, R.L. Stine.

“Goosebumps” plays like “Night at the Museum” with monsters. All of Stine’s creations come to life and literally leap off the pages once the books are opened. Creatures, beasts, and mischief-makers spring to life and instantly, wreak havoc on the quiet rustic town of Greendale. Just like “Night of the Museum” did with group of oddballs, “Goosebumps” finds charm, laughs, and relatable warmth with its characters. The only thing burdening the legitimately good story within “Goosebumps” is the hectic pace at which it’s told and a lot of loose ends that never get resolved or explained.

Usually Jack Black would be chewing scenery and being raucous, but he manages to split up his best traits into various characters. He delivers a steady performance as Stine, who’s coping with the fact that he needs to deal with some inner demons. The side of Black that we’ve seen in “School of Rock” and “Tenacious D” are considerably mild, but still active in the voice work he provides for Stine’s monsters, Slappy the Ventriloquist Dummy and Invisible Boy.

As a result of reading too many “Goosebumps” books and watching too many “Twilight Zone” episodes, I spotted all of the movie’s twists. A lot of that can also be attributed to my critical nature before stepping in the theater. That’s because I was ready for my childhood memories to be trashed on for a quick buck, but thankfully I was wrong. The mix of writers, who’ve worked on everything from “The People vs. Larry Flynt” to “American Horror Story” managed to find the sweet spot that cradles nostalgia and nurtures originality.

What “Goosebumps” does really well though, is create a story that manages to wink at “Goosebumps” fans, but also spin a story that’s understandable for someone who knows nothing about the book series. Kids, actual children and those young at heart, who are looking for a fun scary movie they can sink their teeth into, are in for a real Halloween treat with “Goosebumps” If the creators behind this movie were looking to dust off the books and reboot the series, they’ve succeeded.

Film Review “99 Homes”

Starring: Andrew Garfield, Michael Shannon and Laura Dern
Directed By: Ramin Bahrani
Rated: R
Running Time: 112 minutes
Broad Green Pictures

Our Score: 4.5 out of 5 Stars

Rick Carver (Shannon) casually stares at the corpse of a man who has just committed suicide. His look of disgust isn’t because of the blood or gore he’s staring at, but how much it’s going to cost to clean it up. Carver is the embodiment of the greedy industrialist stereotype we’ve come to expect in movies, but there’s something more to Carver. He’s covetous in a very threatening way, but once that icy stare of his fades away, there’s an understandably human side to him.

Carver expertise is real estate. He’s found out every backhanded way to make money off the company he represents, the U.S. government, and the people he’s foreclosing on. He’s sadistically smart on how he handles himself in front of people he’s evicting. Everything he says is cold and calculated. Shannon brings an air of hostility to Carver without having to raise his voice. He also knows that what he does makes him hated. So he conceals a firearm, ready and willing to get it out if need be.

The latest person to cross an unfortunate path with Carver is Dennis Nash (Garfield). He’s a home builder by trade, but he’s without any homes to build in the Florida landscape. He lives in his childhood home with his mom, and his only son. Nash is the only legitimate revenue stream since his mom simply cuts hair out of their home. Nash is out of options, legally and financially. That’s when Carver comes knocking. Carver has an answer for all of Nash’s tears and angry outbursts as he has only two minutes to pack up everything and get out.

Nash is a guy who’s made a lot of bad choices and good luck has stayed far away from him. So it’s very ominous when Carver offers Nash some cold hard cash to clean out a home. The hardworking skill that Nash displays impresses Carver. Carver formulates a plan in his head, which “99 Homes” slowly reveals. Carver’s motives are inherently selfish, but reasonable. So Carver offers Nash more and more jobs, and sadly, Nash believes he has finally came across the good fortune that’s alluded him for long Nash’s reasoning for working for the man who kicked him out of his home is clear, he wants to create a comfortable life for his son.

“99 Homes” is the best performance I’ve ever seen from Garfield and it’s equally matched by Shannon, who’s displayed this kind of acting prowess in the past. Shannon and Garfield masterfully display their characters true nature through body language and without uttering a single word. Laura Dern adds to the mix with her performance as Nash’s mom. There aren’t any other standouts in terms of acting in “99 Homes”, but being able to watch Garfield match the performance he did in the “Social Network” is refreshing after the unwanted Spiderman movies.

Writer and director, Ramin Bahrini, provides a riveting story, albeit one that feels a bit stale. I’m not saying that there aren’t people like Carver still lurking around, but this feels like a story that would be more interesting right after the 2008 house marketing crash. What Bahrini does do to keep “99 Homes” from simply being an outlet of social commentary, is pump up an engaging drama with relevant dialogue. While the housing market crash will inevitably be a thing of the past, “99 Homes” finds a more intriguing story in how the incorruptible can be corrupted and how the corrupted are looking for a little virtue to hang their hat on.

 

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Film Review “Sicario”

Starring: Emily Blunt, Josh Brolin, and Benicio Del Toro
Directed By: Denis Villeneuve
Rated: R
Running Time: 121 minutes
Lionsgate

Our Score: 5 out 5 Stars

From the first gunshot to the final frame, “Sicario” takes hold of that trepidation in the pit of your stomach and doesn’t let go. At times, it shakes that anxiety in your guts violently. At other times, it merely plays with it like a kitten. “Sicario” is a two hour intense ride through the battlegrounds of the Mexican Drug War. “Sicario” is merciless and unflinching in its perspective of the drug trafficking currently taking place at the United States southern border.

The film opens with Kate (Blunt), leading a mixed group of federal agents and local police in the raid of an Arizona home. What these law enforcements agents are looking for horrifically becomes clear once they discover the bodies of people in the walls of the home. It’s stated halfway through the film, and it’s actually a sad real fact, but raids like this are becoming more common without any end in sight. If anything, they’ve only gotten worse. Kate’s work is professional, clean, and by-the-books.

Her work attracts the attention of Matt (Brolin). He doesn’t seem important since he’s the only one in a meeting of law enforcement leaders and officials wearing civilian clothes. Matt wants Kate for a special assignment into the heart of Mexico, but he won’t reveal too much to her. Matt is clearly scheming and things are even more ominous for Kate as the stoic Alejandro (Del Toro) enters the picture. His arrival is unquestioned and without introduction, leaving Kate deeper in the dark. Along with Kate, we follow foreshadowing breadcrumbs cautiously, because just like her, we know there cannot be a good outcome.

Once everything comes to fruition and everything is revealed, it’s a fairly basic story. But with the right cast, the right direction, the perfect balances of themes, and blending all those together is what makes “Sicario” one of the best movies of the year. The exciting bliss we watch in “Sicario” comes down to director Denis Villeneuve. Without Villeneuve’s vision or his willingness to mold and shape “Sicario” into something more we would have been left with a run-of-the-mill action movie. Instead, Villeneuve has put together a slick, chilling thriller.

Just like in “Prisoners” and “Enemy,” Villeneuve is becoming a master of dread. Villeneuve harnesses a dense soundtrack, echoing our fears about what’s ahead, and buries it under unsettling close-up. Villeneuve has an eye for gorgeous establishing shots and has a keen instinct about what puts us on the edge of our seat. “Sicario” cleverly unnerves us as we closely follow characters that are armed to the teeth and ready to fire off some deadly shots.

Del Toro, Blunt, Brolin, and everyone else is spot on. Del Toro, like he usually does every once and awhile, reminds us why he’s an Oscar winner. Just his icy cold stare speaks miles about what kind of man Alejandro is. Blunt perfectly encapsulates Kate’s lone wolf strength at the beginning, but nurtures that slow grip of fear that inevitably paralyzes Kate. Meanwhile, Brolin handles Matt like an average Joe who has every little detail plotted out behind his childish quips.

The final thing that makes “Sicario” undeniably good is the ethical questions it asks. They’re proposed in a very unique way. “Sicario” bluntly states the first part of the question while letting the viewer ponder what the second half is. You may not know you were asked a question once the movie is over because you’ll still be frozen in its grasps. But once you leave the theater, you’ll definitely have something to ponder. And if history is any indication, along with Kate’s story, you won’t like the answer to that question.

Film Review “Everest”

Starring: Jason Clarke, Ang Phula Sherpa and Thomas M. Wright
Directed By: Baltasar Kormakur
Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 121 minutes
Universal Pictures

Our Score: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Often times in disaster movies, the power of nature is mocked or built up like some supernatural phenomenon. “San Andreas”, “Volcano” and any Roland Emmerich movie are prime examples of nature needing to be deadlier than it already is to captivate an audience, but the director and writers of “Everest” have realized something very few know. Nature is already a disturbing mystery that doesn’t need to create 100 foot high tidal waves or to spawn volcanoes in the middle of a sprawling suburb to have a profound impact.

“Everest” follows along the events of a deadly 1996 Everest expedition, that’s been the subject of many documentaries and books, and it was most likely a news firestorm when it happened. I was only eight at the time so my memory banks were being dedicated to learning fractions and the plot line to rudimentary cartoons. So if you remember this incident, you know there’s not going to be a happy ending and in all fairness, that’s what makes a disaster a disaster.

Competing expedition groups are traversing the world’s tallest mountain. Each group is made up of individuals with their own personal accomplishment to achieve. Rob Hall (Clarke) heads up Adventure Consultants while Scott Fischer (Jake Gyllenhaal) heads a team called Mountain Madness. The groups are armed to the teeth with oxygen tanks and supplies. The journey, as expected, is a difficult one, but the real problems arise once they reach the summit.

The cinematography of “Everest” is nothing short of breathtaking. While most disaster movies rely heavily on CGI to make the unbelievable more believable; “Everest” uses CGI to make the believable even more bone chilling. Tension is so sparsely used that when it bubbles up, it’s acute. Knowing that the icy hands of death are ready adds to the suspense, especially for someone like me who had no previous knowledge of the events unfolding in this movie.

As for the true story aspect, my research reveals that “Everest” is fairly faithful. The most unbelievable moment of the movie for me was actually the most truthful to the actual events. So maybe that says something about film creators before who’ve abused the title of “based on a true story.” “Everest” has the emotional heft, but not the narrative weight to really convey a powerful message.

Its basic attempt is to have you shed a tear, but a better planned attack would have you leaving the theater pondering the existential meaning behind the deaths of these people. The articles I’ve looked up on the matter have raised questions that “Everest” never asks. In some regards, “Everest” is an expensive and star studded TV movie, but that’s not entirely a bad thing. In that light, “Everest” is sentimental storytelling at its finest. But I wouldn’t mind a message about the common man thinking he can trump nature with plastic oxygen tanks or how we just shouldn’t mess with things we’ll never understand. But as far as biographical disaster movies go, “Everest” has set a remarkably high bar.

Film Review “The Visit”

Starring: Olivia DeJonge, Ed Oxenbould, Deanna Dunagan and Peter McRobbie
Directed By: M. Night Shyamalan
Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 94
Universal Pictures

Our Score: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Has M. Night Shyamalan set the bar so low for his movies over the past decade that anything above mediocre is seen as good? That’s a legitimate question I had to ask myself after leaving “The Visit” because I was generally shocked. I couldn’t remember the last time I had left a Shyamalan movie with positive notes to tell. So now a new question must be asked. Has Shyamalan redeemed himself for a decade’s worth of awful movies? No. But “The Visit” is a good start on that road to absolution.

It’s a real trick these days to come up with a new way to tell a found footage movie and for it to make sense. Becca (DeJonge) has an interest in filmmaking and plans on making a documentary for her mom (Kathryn Hahn). The documentary being made by the aspiring teenage filmmaker involves herself and her young brother, Tyler (Oxenbould), visiting their never before seen grandparents. All she knows is what her mom tells her. Becca’s mom says when she first became pregnant with her, an untold incident happened and the family members parted ways, never to speak again. But unluckily for them, the grandparents reached out to them online and wanted to see the grandkids that they’ve never laid eyes on. Sappy documentary gold.

Despite her hesitance, Becca’s mom allows them to go spend the week at the ol’ farmstead. Everything seems normal enough with their grandparents, Nana (Dunagan) and Pop Pop (McRobbie). The elderly couple once had their own individual careers, but moved on from that. Now they take care of a farm and volunteer at the area hospital. Nana has a knack for baked goods and Pop Pop seems like an old fashioned man who keeps busy maintaining the rustic farm. It’s only until their imposed bedtime of 9:30 at night do things really take a turn.

As each day passes, more and more troubling signs crop up and they become more severe as the week goes on. What seems like simple “grandma and grandpa are old” problems slowly unravels into something far more disturbing. As anyone growing up and staying the weekend with their grandparents know, there’s always some weird things that we don’t get that our grandparents do. But when the kids find Nana naked clawing at the walls at the dead of night, these disturbing incidents begin to imply something more sinister.

What Shyamalan has finally done, after a lot of trial and errors, is abandoned the way too serious tone for an engaging mix of laughs and scares. Someone must have told him that one of the best ways to scare an audience is to lull them into a state of safety by making them laugh. Nearly every jump scare is sandwiched between jokes, and those jokes are hits or misses, but I’m more hits than not. Without that chuckle, our defenses aren’t dropped and we instead focus on some of the weaker qualities of the movie, which “The Visit” is not without.

What made Shyamalan such a household name after the “Sixth Sense” was his trademark twist, the ability to tug at the heart strings, jump scares, and Lifetime movie jokes. He’s brought all that back, but his heartfelt message gets lost in the mix and doesn’t land as well as it should. What really helps sell the terror is Dunagan and McRobbie. Both turn in spectacular performances as the borderline senile and sincere grandparents to the children who seem captive by choice. Bonus points are also given when your child actors aren’t nauseating to listen to or watch.

“The Visit” has perfectly blended comedy and horror, but it finds an even balance. It doesn’t take long for an audience to laugh at silly old Nana before clinching the arm rests when she tells Becca a story that could easily be an allegory for hiding bodies at the bottom of the lake near the home. It’s definitely an odd feeling to give a recommendation for a Shyamalan movie, especially when speaking in the present tense. The much joked about director has finally realized that maybe the best way to win an audience back over is to include them in on the joke.

Film Review “We Are Your Friends”

Starring: Zac Efron, Emily Ratajkowski and Wes Bently
Directed By: Max Joseph
Rated: R
Running Time: 96 minutes
Warner Bros. Pictures

Our Score: 2.5 out of 5 stars

Unlike a lot of my male cohorts, I’m willing to admit I like Zac Efron. I think he’s very talented, but he’s been stuck with fodder that simply wants him shirtless and smiling. But I’ll admit those are two qualities that go hand-in-hand with his likeability and charm that he radiates on screen. Maybe Efron’s charm was just the right amount for me to enjoy the shoddy script that inhabits “We Are Your Friends”.

Cole (Efron) is an aspiring DJ, hoping to break out in the electronic dance music scene. He’s talented, but bogged down by his gang of friends which play like a trashy version of Vincent’s from “Entourage”. Mason (Jonny Weston) acts like his scumbag manager, but only maintaining the scumbag part. As for his other two friends, Squirrel (Alex Shaffer) and Ollie (Shiloh Fernandez), they’re relegated to mop up duty as simplistic drug dealers who are occasionally called upon to shift a subplot in a different direction.

All four have their own personal dreams and goals, aspiring towards a grand life. They all appear to have delusions of grandeur, but it’s never really explained why they feel like they’re life is building towards a life of fame. Cole’s trio of friends are so underdeveloped, you sometimes wonder why Cole would bother clinging to a bunch of lowlifes. The lack of details in Cole’s gang plays in later when the movie asks you to care.

But because Cole is genuinely the only one of the group with talent, he’s the only one that seems to move forward with his aspirations as he catches the attention of an already established DJ, James (Bently). James continues to live off a couple of one hit wonders, simply playing music that caters to his inebriated audience. Seeing the chance to try something new, James becomes a mentor to Cole, but the mentor role is complicated when Cole falls in love with James’ voluptuous live-in assistant/girlfriend/sex doll, Sophie (Ratajkowski).

Most of “We Are Your Friends” is predictable. It times it comes off as cheap when it steals a lot of music biography elements, but when it wants to it manages to handle a few things differently. At a certain point, Cole is told to find his own voice instead of using other people’s music samples in his work. I’m assuming this is advice director Max Joseph was told, but unlike Cole, he can’t follow that advice. Joseph appears to pick out his favorite clichés, weaving them in. Visually though, Joseph has a wonderful style when he wants one. He turns multiple scenes into music videos while adjusting the audio levels to match blasts of music with the adrenaline and the lows of sound with the raw emotion.

The ups and downs, like the music our main characters plays, are tolerable or repulsive, depending on your age. “We Are Your Friends” is definitely a movie catered towards Millennials that appreciate EDM and the scene, much like a Baby Boomer who watches a documentary on Woodstock. So maybe Efron’s charm isn’t what has me recommending “We Are Your Friends”, but maybe it’s because of my age and because I have yet to crest outside its target audience.

Film Review “Hitman: Agent 47”

Starring: Rupert Friend, Hannah Ware and Zachary Quinto
Directed By: Aleksander Bach
Rated: R
Running Time: 96 minutes
20th Century Fox

Our Score: 1 out of 5 Stars

The award winning videogame franchise, “Hitman”, has yet to create anything worthy of a film award, unless we want to start talking about Razzies. But I’ll concede that it’s damn near impossible to create a decent movie based on a videogame. A videogame story is easily understood because the person diving into it is ready to spend 25-40 hours with the main character, being the character, and interacting with the world the character inhabits. We have a fraction of that time in a movie. So, the idea of creating a videogame movie is an insurmountable task, but there’s no reason it should suck this much.

The perplexing story starts with a narrator giving us meaningless exposition about characters we have yet to meet and don’t care about yet. It then shows us Agent 47 (Friend). He comes after a long list of agents, biologically engineered to be uncaring killing machines, in an unexplained agent program. We watch him do what he’s been trained to do as he violently disposes of multiple people so that he can track down the whereabouts of Katia Van Dees (Ware). She is an even more mysterious person on the search for a man that she doesn’t know. In fact, she doesn’t know why she’s really searching for him or what he means to him. Hoping to get a hold of Katia before Agent 47, is John Smith (Quinto).

So who do these people work for? That’s a really great question that the movie never really answers or seems to bother itself with. Maybe Agent 47 is working for a syndicate interested in rebooting the agent program. Maybe he’s working for a world power that’s hoping to create its own agent program. Maybe he’s working for it’s a nefarious conglomerate hellbent on restarting the agent program. Simply remove Agent 47’s name from the previous questions, and put in Katia and John’s name where his is and you begin to see the problem.

What’s even more bizarre is that while it doesn’t explain what’s going on with these people, it feels really predictable when Katia and John deduce/admit who they are. Every five minutes it feels like a new person is directing the movie and there’s no clear direction or narrative in general. When the action stops, it’s dreadfully boring. But even when the killing flares up we’re simply watching these three characters interact while unnamed soldiers, police, henchmen, and guards get caught in the crossfire or become fodder for lazy kill scenes.

For being an alleged action movie, “Hitman: Agent 47” is about as entertaining as watching someone who’s watching someone play a videogame. It’s a bit morbid to say that “Hitman: Agent 47” should spruce up the joy by having fun murdering countless people, but it’s true. Watching an expressionless person kill an expressionless person followed by more expressionless reaction elicits about as much excitement in me as winning a game of solitaire in my downtime at work.

If my may indulge my nostalgia for a second…way back in 2000, I played the first “Hitman” videogame at a friend’s house. We had a blast, had our eyes glued to the screen, and talked about the game for weeks at school. We wasted hours on it and couldn’t wait to waste more on the inevitable sequels that were to follow. To those who created “Hitman: Agent 47”, you have tainted that memory with your garbage movie.

Film Review “Fantastic Four”

Starring: Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan, Kara Mara and Jamie Bell
Directed By: Josh Trank
Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 100 minutes
20th Century Fox

Our Score: 1.5 out of 5 stars

I can only imagine the board room battles over comic book property going on in Hollywood right now. It will surely make for an interesting documentary one day. While Fox will surely hold on to the lucrative “X-Men” franchise as long as possible, it might be time for them to give up the “Fantastic Four” franchise. But then again, maybe the four superheroes just aren’t meant for the big screen.

The latest offering continues a long standing tradition of bad “Fantastic Four” movies. The 2015 movie adds itself to a short list of disappointments, although this one manages to stand out. It’s definitely the bleakest and has the most talented cast of young actors. But that stellar cast was chosen because of their youth, and that’s one of the main problems. The movie starts off with Reed Richards (Teller) and Ben Grimm (Bell) becoming the best pals in 2007 before quickly flashing forward to the present day. They go from eight-year-old looking elementary school classmates to 28-year-old looking high school students.

Reed’s getting ready to show off his finished product, an interplanetary matter transporter, at a high school science fair of all places. The teachers and principal shockingly shrug off the machine that has transported an object to another world, as a mere magic trick. But luckily Reed’s machine that could potentially produce a black hole is recognized by Dr. Franklin Storm (Reg E. Cathey). He’s randomly browsing the high school science fair, accompanied by his daughter Sue (Mara), who doesn’t attend the school. It’s OK though, Storm operates a school for young aspiring scientists. So it’s completely normal that he’d be attending a tired high school movie cliché in search of another young aspiring scientist. I’m only into the first 10 minutes of this movie and I’m already frustrated with the idiocies of this movie.

Once Reed is recruited, he meets Sue’s brother, Johnny (Jordan). He’s a master technician, but a rebel, only made evident by a short scene where he drag races. Then inevitably, we meet Victor Von Doom (Toby Kebbell). Doom was actually working on an interplanetary matter transporter, called the Quantum. The government, and more specifically Dr. Storm, are investing in this idea because they want to find a solution to our Earthly woes by visiting a mystery planet.

Doom, who’s supposed to be the evil mad man, oddly enough takes a slightly sympathetic attitude about the whole project. He doesn’t believe we should discover a new planet and drain it of its resources just to save ourselves from sucking the Earth. Despite their differences in attitudes, the five youths combine their forces to create the gate, which obviously becomes a success. But frustrated with the fact they won’t be the first humans to traverse space and time, they go on an unsanctioned trip to the mystery planet, and I’m sure you know the rest. They get powers.

“Fantastic Four” is mercilessly thick with exposition without giving the viewer a reward for their investment into the plot. “Fantastic Four” glosses over loopholes, but stops to examine its duller aspects. It moves at an infuriatingly slow pace, while skipping over the possibility of some fun plot points. At times it feels like a hodgepodge of other directorial themes. It wants to be the “Dark Knight” trilogy in tone and tells poorly timed Marvel jokes without any of the charm or wit. Simply put, it’s a narrative hack job.

The action is light until the forced final battle between Dr. Doom and the Fantastic Four, but even then the fight is visually weak. “Fantastic Four” is like a small boy who spends all the time in the world setting up all the pieces for a game of Risk, but by the time he’s done, he simply throws the board across the room in a rash fit of rage. Give it up Fox. Let Marvel have the “Fantastic Four” back so they can give them a proper burial.

Film Review “Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation”

Starring: Tom Cruise, Rebecca Ferguson and Jeremy Renner
Directed By: Christopher McQuarrie
Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 131 minutes
Paramount Pictures

Our Score: 4.5 out 5 stars

If you haven’t heard yet, Tom Cruise hangs off the side of a plane for his latest movie, “Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol”. The 53-year-old actor, who’s been known for doing his own stunts, figured the best way to hook you from scene one is to jump on to a plane and dangle for life as it climbs through the area. The kicker is that this is done without the use of special effects, just a good ol’ camera mount to capture his unterrified expression as he soars into the air. If the first five minutes of “Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation” doesn’t hook you in, you apparently don’t like action movies.

Cruise is reprising his role as Ethan Hunt, the mastermind, physically unlimited, and fatigueless spy operating with the Impossible Mission Force (IMF). Before his suspicions about a global terrorist network, called the Syndicate, can be confirmed, they reveal themselves to him and capture him. Using his mind, fighting prowess, and in general luck, he escapes from his unfamiliar and mysterious captors only to be a fugitive from his own country. While he was busy being beat up nearly tortured, the U.S. has disbanded the IMF and now is after Ethan for treason. That’s a lot of exposition in the first 10 minutes, but it’s handled quite well without overloading the viewer’s processing senses.

A lot of the exposition in this movie is masterfully done, without too many lingering questions of whom, what, where, when and why. The finer details could be scrutinized, but the general plot is intricately laid out in a simplistic and fun fashion. As the story progresses, Ethan Is helped by various people to help him find out who heads up the syndicate. There’s Brendt (Renner), the inside man at the CIA, who lets Ethan know when the CIA is hot on his trail. Then there’s Benji (Simon Pegg), the computer geek who’s called into justify absurd gadgetry. Then there’s the mysterious double crossing former agent known as Ilsa (Ferguson). There’s other characters that crop up and add to the mix, but their sudden appearances are a joy upon watching.

To break up the constant tension is some much needed comic relief, provided by nearly every character, but in heavy does by Benji. Tom Cruise is charismatic, but he seems more in sync when his partner in crime throughout Europe arrives, Benji. Simon Pegg, who’s had some experience in comedy and action, is a perfect outlet for what everyone in the audience is thinking, “How the hell did you just do that?”

Just like previous installments in the “Mission: Impossible” movie series, there’s lots of twists, turns, fake face pulling off, neat gadgets, and all the other things that have actually been missing from all the latest Bond movies, which isn’t a bad thing. There are actually plenty of comparisons between both movie series, but the major difference right now is tone. While the Bond series seems to be aiming for a growing character study and keeping Bond emotionally resonant, “Mission: Impossible” seems to be going for what early Bond was like, exhilarating action and non-stop fun.

For every moment you think “Mission: Impossible” is going to let up, it pushes harder on the throttle without giving you a moment to breathe. Small to big action sequences are done with precision; creating tension despite the fact we know that Ethan will be fine. Those moments of tension are created by characters constantly discussing the longevity of Ethan, who flirts with death and laughs at danger. Of course those might just be a hint at whomever will take over Ethan’s place when Cruise becomes too old. But right now, Tom Cruise is still an action star not to be messed with.

Film Review “Southpaw”

Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Forest Whitaker and Rachel McAdams
Directed By: Antoine Fuqua
Rated: R
Running Time: 123 minutes
The Weinstein Company

Our Score: 3.5 out of 5 stars

After being denied a much deserved Oscar nomination for best actor last year for “Nightcrawler,” Jake Gyllenhaal is back to beat the hell out of anyone who thinks otherwise. While last year he was downright chilly as a cunning sociopath with an appetite for visual destruction, in “Southpaw” he’s a mumbling, short-tempered boxer by the name of Billy Hope. The gusto that Gyllenhaal has given in his performances over the past couple of years on display in “Southpaw,” but his acting prowess is too good for this script.

When we meet Billy, he’s being bandaged up for an upcoming boxing match. It’s one of the few instances in this movie we don’t see him beaten, bruised, or bleeding. Gyllenhaal sets the tone capturing the mannerisms of an all-star athlete psyching himself before a match, but once he speaks, he captures the literacy of Mike Tyson, and that’s not a bad thing when you’re portraying someone whose life is all about getting bashed in the head by fists.

His character is a bit like Lenny from “Of Mice and Men” because he has a gentle heart, but wields the strength to break some bones. Billy has a lovely wife, Maureen (McAdams) and a 10-year-old daughter whom he absolutely adores, Lelia (Oona Laurence). He turns into a pile of mush talking to them and fawns over them constantly, but once he steps into the ring, he turns into an absolute monster. This big swing in delivery and emotions is what makes Gyllenhaal’s performance one of the best this summer.

The story that Gyllenhaal gets to act in is not as stellar. The high-life ends when a freak accident, which I’m still not sure what happened in it, kills Maureen, and leaves Billy and Lelia alone. The story logistics, or domino effect of bad events after Maureen’s death, are hasty and illogical. Focusing on them could easily cloud one’s judgement and prevent one from enjoying the cheap entertainment that “Southpaw” is. Billy loses custody of his daughter, he loses his home and his livelihood, and he’s left penniless in the streets, all within a matter of days. You think the undefeated lightweight champion of the world could afford a better trial lawyer and would have at least a couple of million for the rainiest of days.

Instead of solving problems in a clear, concise manner, the movie relies on aged sports movie clichés to get from one scene to the next. One instance for example is when Forest Whitaker shows up as the Apollo of the movie, Titus. Titus has some strict morals about training a professional boxer that he ends up forsaking so it won’t inconvenience the plot. While all of this certainly puts a damper on everything, if you treat it like most summer blockbusters, you shouldn’t have too hard a time enjoying what transpires.

“Southpaw” is an enjoyable break from the explosions and CGI of the summer, as long as you’re not putting it in the ring against “Rocky” or “Raging Bull”. “Southpaw” gives us one of the more loveable brutes of the summer, while providing cheap popcorn entertainment. For all its faults, it can be enjoyed as long as you turn your brain off. And if I can be forgiven for just one more heap of praise for Gyllenhaal, seeing his shapeshifting transformation from role to role since “End of Watch” is reason enough to purchase a ticket for “Southpaw”.

Film Review “Ant-Man”

Starring: Paul Rudd, Michael Douglas and Corey Stoll
Directed By: Peyton Reed
Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 117 minutes
Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures

Our Score: 4.5 out of 5 stars

In the hearts and minds of many, Robert Downey Jr. will always be Iron Man, Chris Evans will always be Captain America, and Hugh Jackman will always be the Wolverine. This isn’t a bad thing because these are all beloved characters that have now been etched into movie history. Of course some people, like Ben Affleck, will always be remembered for the abysmal “Daredevil” movie. So with that said, Paul Rudd, you are Ant-Man, and damn good at it.

It’s a difficult job to be the Marvel movie that follows up the box office success, “Age of Ultron,” but “Ant-Man” is not only a sufficient follow-up, but better than the epic spectacle earlier this summer. While “Ant-Man” may not have the budget, the explosive scenes, and the plethora of characters building around its hyperbolic villain, it’s still grand. Its pint sized hero does everything wonderfully on a much smaller scale, but with a lot more heart.

Scott Lang (Rudd) is a cat burglar who constantly reminds everyone that his robberies were not violent. He’s recently been let out of jail and is staying with his buddy Luis (Michael Pena). Scott wants to do right. He has the smarts and drive, but as his wife says, he leaves when things get tough. So after some unsuccessful attempts at getting a decent job, including a shameless product placement, Scott quickly resorts back to a life of crime.

Luis has the scoop on a home with a massive safe in the basement. Scott breaks in, and his first foe is an impressive metal door with a thumb print key lock. He disposes of this quickly, seemingly ready to meet the illegal challenge. But it isn’t gold bars, jewelry, the Ark of the Covenant, or any treasure like that inside this mystery vault. Instead it’s a suit, and as the cliché goes, it comes with a great power. Scott may not be ready for the power, but the creator of the suit, Hank Pym (Douglas), is ready to teach him.

Like most origin stories, it does deal with the obligatory training scenes and exposition that we’ve become accustomed to in many of these superhero movies. “Ant-Man” reminds me a lot of “Iron Man” in that the training sequences are coupled with personal growth in our hero. It isn’t simply bulking up, learning fighting tactics, and growing into a suit, but it’s also about growing as a person. We don’t need the end of the world to be impressed with superhero movies, but we’ll certainly have a lot more admiration for someone who’s just as human as me or you. With Paul Rudd’s acting and the clever writing, “Ant-Man” becomes one of the best Marvel movies.

“Ant-Man” is enjoyable, fun, exciting, and filled with humor. It knows when to be emotional and it knows when to laugh at itself. A lot of that is thanks to the script penned by Edgar Wright. While three others were attached to it, Wright’s mark has been left. Peyton Reed, who is far from being known for directing action movies, does an OK job replicating Wright’s style of direction. The blueprints were there, but there is this faint feeling that it could have been perfect if Wright was behind the camera.

Ant-Man joins a very crowded field of superheroes, and sure to become even more crowded with Captain Marvel, Black Panther, Doctor Strange, and others on the horizon. While I’m sure Marvel will handle all of these characters like it has in the past, with grace, heart, and comedy, but as of right now, Ant-Man’s short stature has left the biggest mark on the Marvel universe. Good things do come in small packages.

Film Review “Minions”

Starring the Voices of: Pierre Coffin, Sandra Bullock, and Jon Hamm
Directed By: Pierre Coffin and Kyle Balda
Rated: PG
Running Time: 91 minutes
Universal Pictures

Our Score: 3 out of 5 stars

Minions have the lovability of a puppy dog, the comedy stylings of a group of rambunctious Kindergarteners, and they’ve now gotten their own movie. A lot can go wrong when you give the side characters of your main movie their own big picture. When it works, like “Puss in Boots,” it works, but it’s not a very memorable entry. The creators of “Minions” have surprisingly avoided the potential spin-off pitfalls by realizing the best way to handle their yellow pill shaped creations, is by simply allowing them to be silly.

The plot in this movie is paper thin, but it doesn’t need the emotional heft we’ve seen in the previous “Despicable Me” movies. Sure our pint sized pals have their own characteristics, but they don’t have the depth of Gru or the deep characteristics of any of the other humans inhabiting this world. “Minions” mainly follows the three yellow creatures named Kevin, Stuart, and Bob. Their journey begins after a brief and funny backstory on how the minions have become servants. The brave trio is about to go out into the world to find a deviant master. They’ve spent years huddled in the cold ice chambers of Arctic after centuries of accidentally killing or shaming all their previous rulers.

The three arrive in the states and find their way to a villain convention where they become enamored by Scarlet Overkill (Bullock). Unlike Gru, she’s very selfish in her ambitions, which aren’t necessarily made clear. The majority of the movie moves at a disorganized pace that only serves one purpose, to make you laugh and to entertain. And honestly, that’s all I really want out of a movie about the minions.

Despite my enjoyment of all the visual gags and slapstick humor, I wish the story wouldn’t have plodded around so much. The weakness comes when Kevin, Stuart, and Bob are on their own. They communicate through their own gobbledygook language and it doesn’t feel as fast paced as a skit when the minions act more like a collective brain than in an individual manner. Kevin, Stuart, and Bob manage to create their own identity by the end of the movie, but it’s not a very strong one or one that helps differentiate themselves that much from the others in the minion collective. Kevin is the leader of the three, Bob is the most playful and childlike of the group and Kevin is….Kevin.

Just like in the previous movies, “Minions” work best when they react to a situation. Overkill is the deepest character in the movie, but she’s the developed character that populates the “Despicable Me” universe. But if she was created to simply be a piece for the minions to react to, then her purpose has been served. It just feels like a waste when you bring on a big name like Sandra Bullock to voice As for the other voice actors, they’re very good, especially Jon Hamm who plays Scarlet’s lover/accomplice. He almost sounds like Bill Hader, who I highly regard as an amazing voice actor. Not that Hamm is in his post-“Mad Men,” he should consider more voice-acting roles.

It isn’t the best children’s movie of the year, but that’s certainly hard to do nearly a full month after Pixar released its shoe-in for the best animated feature film of the year Oscar. While Pixar has the awards, “Minions” will certainly be raking in the money, but that’s because at the end of the day, the minions are still loveable. “Minions” is fan-service and playful entertainment, plain and simple. If you want more story and plot, maybe you should wait until “Despicable Me 3”.

DVD Review “Awaken”

Starring: Daryl Hannah, Edward Furlong and Vinnie Jones
Directed By: Mark Atkins
Rated: R
Studio: ARC Entertainment
Running Time: 89 minutes

Our Score: 2.5 out of 5 stars

Just looking at the cover of “Awaken” induces nostalgia. Names like Vinnie Jones, Edward Furlong, and Jason London conjure memories of many cheesy action movies, some of them classics. So is “Awaken” the who’s who of action movies? No. It’s more like “Repo Men”, “Cube”, and “Surviving the Game”, got together for a story idea, got drunk, and went off the notes they scribbled down in a drunken stupor. While the creators may not have been in the most sober state of mind while writing this story, a couple of beers could help you enjoy this movie more if you plan on checking it out.

Imagine waking up in the thick jungle woods of an island. Your immediate instinct is to figure out where you are, but a mysterious group of paramilitary men are hunting you down. Before you can even wake from the daze or having the surrounding features set-in, burly killing machines are giving chase to you. That’s the nightmare that Billie (Natalie Burn) finds herself in. She comes across a group of survivors, who’ve been on the island for a while, but they offer no help to her predicament, in terms of an escape route or what is they’re actually doing there.

In some movies, like “Predators”, this notion is exciting because we as an audience have some kind of inkling about what’s going on, but “Awaken” certainly takes its sweet time to reveal the seedy reasons they’re on this island. But when a movie takes its sweet time, it can be engaging if the mystery is intriguing enough. Maybe the mystery in “Awaken” would have been more mesmerizing if I didn’t read the synopsis which made the “twist” a dead giveaway. There’s a lot that “Awaken” does wrong, that’s very obvious from the first half of the movie, but this disjointed hodgepodge has a campy charm.

It’s not necessarily good acting, but when you have Robert Davi arrive and sell every moment he’s on screen, it’s entertaining. A veteran actor can make do with what they have and many in this movie know how to sell the cheese. Daryl Hannah, who shows up later in the movie, may have needed a reality check about what kind of movie she was filming; although it should have been obvious to her in one scene where she’s awaiting the results of surgery by playing with a monkey doll surrounded by stock bad guy goons. Outside of that miscast, everyone is well aware how to react.

I’ve certainly watched better action movies, but I’ve certainly been subjugated to dull ones. “Awaken” smartly casts Natalie Burn as the leading lady. Not a well-known name and certainly not a name I know off the top of my head. But the ballet performing actress certainly has a knack for action. “Awaken” ultimately falls into the category of enjoyable, but forgettable. It would have done well in the 80’s where cheeseball action movies with outlandish concepts thrived.

Film Review “Me and Earl and the Dying Girl”

Starring: Thomas Mann, Olivia Cooke and Ronald Cyler II
Directed By: Alfonso Gomez-Rejon
Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 105 minutes
Fox Searchlight Pictures

Our Score: 4.5 out of 5 stars

Depending on how well you pitch it, self-loathing can be quite comical. Pointing out your own faults to elicit a laugh can work out well. I do it all the time with people I know because it allows me to show to them that I’m human, that I understand my flaws, and that I’m comfortable with my shortcomings…kind of. Then of course, across the way, there’s that thin line of self-loathing. It’s not too far and if you cross it, you find yourself in actual self-loathing territory. It’s a self-loathing that spins off into depression and depressing other people. “Me and Earl and the Dying Girl” beautifully blends a coming-of-age story and the tricky subject of youthful enmity.

When we first meet Greg (Mann), he’s socially awkward, but has mastered the art of fading into the background. Despite this, he’s maintaining a stable acquaintanceship with everyone in his school. He divides the cliques like world leaders divide their countries. He has it in good with the people of each land, but he maintains his own invisible island that has a unique identity, but he conceals it. The only person, who knows his interests, likes and dislikes, is Earl (Cyler). Like a lot of best friend stories, their meeting as elementary school students isn’t spectacular, but being young and impressionable does help build a firm basis friendship.

That young susceptible brain of theirs falls prey to Greg’s father, played by Nick Offerman, who is perpetually stuck as the bizarre and sage father in indie movies. Through his father’s influence, the two find a love for trashy, poorly made movies. Through that mutual admiration, they create their own parody movies of well-known movies like “Apocalypse Now” and “A Clockwork Orange”. This is Greg’s basic existence. It doesn’t seem like he wants to be bothered to do more nor does he want to attempt to do more, but that’ll quickly change.

At the request of his parents, he visits a former childhood friend, Rachel (Cooke). Everyone views the hangout time as beneficial for Rachel because she needs someone in her time of need. Technically, like everyone, she does. But Rachel is also someone that seems to be confident in her own minimalistic self-preservation. She doesn’t want to burden other people with her upsetting diagnosis, much less tell that to Greg, whom she barely talks to. Despite his awkwardness and many in-poor taste jokes, she finds his goofiness charming and sees the kindness in his soul.

Throughout, we’re reminded that this isn’t a movie where the two inevitably fall in love and have a cliché passion scene. That, in itself, is absolutely refreshing. It would cheapen what’s happening if she were to fall in love with the first boy to acknowledge her illness and be there in her time of need. It would feel cheap if he made a move as she goes through chemotherapy. They both care about each other, but not like that. They don’t need to. The love they feel for each other is completely platonic, but still very heartfelt.

At an integral point in “Me and Earl and the Dying Girl”, the movie turns on a dime from a comedy into a drama. It’s a very smooth, but sudden transition. Up until that point, Greg has been adorkable, but at that point, his darkness is revealed. Despite the minutes, hours, and days of concern he’s shown, this selfishness blooms and takes over. The situation and the muddying of his perception and the audience’s perception are done elegantly.

Coming-of-age stories have the inevitable growth, or at the very least a melancholy ambiguity haze hanging over them, at the end, and “Me and Earl and the Dying Girl” isn’t any different. It’s the filming and editing style, as well as the realism in our characters that helps propel this one into the top tier of this genre. It’s also great to see to see leads that aren’t impervious to emotional flaws and growing pains.