Starring: Diogo Morgado, Roma Downey and Darwin Shaw
Directed By: Christopher Spencer
Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 138 Minutes
20th Century Fox

Our Score: 2 out of 5 stars

I have to preface this review by stating that I attended Catholic school for four years. During those years I probably learned more about the Christian faith than I have at any other point in my life. No matter what grade, one part of our day was dedicated to a religion class. No, not learning about other religions and expanding our horizons, but instead just going over the same Biblical curriculum. Think of it in the same way they hammer in English and math lessons every year in schools. During religion class, we either read scripture, interpreted scripture or watched a good old fashioned New Testament movie. I watched almost every single kind, ranging from animated, black and white, silent, TV series and ones I’m fairly certain were created just for church distribution. Very few of them distinguished themselves when retelling the story of Jesus. “Son of God” is no different.

With hundreds of pages to go off, where does the movie begin? Well it never feels like it actually starts off anywhere and instead just dabbles throughout the beginnings of Jesus Christ (Morgado). I guess you could say it starts at his birth, but that literally occupies a couple of minutes in the movie. For some reason they try to establish Pontius Pilate (Greg Hicks) early on. He’s clearly a big player later in the story, but showcasing him on horseback while his minions kill people seems rather pointless. The story isn’t really set in stone. We have some random narrative from the Apostle John (Sebastian Knapp) that adds nothing. The first third of the movie is spent meandering from one random story to the next and surprisingly Christ’s baptism was not one of those stories. We reach some consistency when Jesus makes his final entry into Jerusalem before his crucifixion. I feel like most movies on the life of Christ hinge their emotional bets on the crucifixion. “Son of God” does too, but the payoff comes off passionless.

The movie oddly spends half it’s time dipping into the behind the scenes politics of the Romans and the Jewish elders bickering about Jesus. It saps previous screentime that could have been used to build the relationship Jesus had with the Virgin Mary (Downey) or his Apostles. The movie heavily focuses on the people who seem to lack faith in Christ’s abilities. Everyone from bystanders to his Apostles are constantly second guessing his claims and his miracles. As for the actors, they’re convincing enough in their roles, but nothing screams job security. Playing the Lord and Savior for over a billion people is a tough task, but Diogo Morgado is a bit underwhelming. He smiles some pearly whites when delivering a sermon, but Jesus wasn’t all niceties and politeness. One of the most pivotal stories of the New Testament is when Jesus becomes physically upset that the temple in Jerusalem has become a den of thieves and crooks who peddle their goods. This movie should call for Jesus to become physically upset (the only time it happens in the Bible), but instead becomes an obvious sign that Morgado may not have been the right man for the role.

This isn’t a bad movie, but it’s not a good movie either. This movie suffers from being way too vanilla with its material. It seems afraid to try anything new in terms of story telling. I had to ask myself after the movie: Why must a movie like this be made if there’s nothing creatively new to add? I know the immediate response would be to spread the word of God for a new generation. But I don’t think that’s a real reason if this movie is simply a cut and paste theatrical release of “The Bible” miniseries that was aired on the History Channel. Maybe I’m wrong. All I know is, future Catholic school kids will be stuck watching this when teacher feels like letting the TV do the lecturing.

“As the Palaces Burn”
Starring: Lamb of God
Director: Don Argott
Rated: Unrated
Studio: 9.14 Pictures
Run Time: 90 minutes

Our Score: 4.5 out of 5 stars

What starts out as a typical band related documentary quickly becomes much more than that. “As the Palaces Burn” is the latest film from heavy metal band Lamb of God. Directed by Don Argott and being released via Epic Records and 9.14 Pictures the film is a 90 minute rollercoaster ride of emotion that captivates the viewer.

Whether you are a fan of Lamb of God’s music or not I strongly urge you to see this film. This is not just another behind the scenes type film designed to give fans an inside look at their favorite band. This may have been the original intent however mid way through the film it starts to document the series of events which lead to the incarceration of lead singer D. Randall Blythes incarceration in the Czech Republic for the charge of Manslaughter.

As the film delves deeper into these events the film takes is most dramatic turn as it shows the immense amount of emotion the band members have for one another as well as Randy’s own strength throughout the entire time of his incarceration and subsequent return to the Czech Republic to stand trial for these clearly bogus charges. Director Don Argott did a great job capturing everything I enjoy seeing in a film of this nature. Candid interviews with not only the band but with fans and fellow musicians gave the film a number of different perspectives that helped affirm the bands place in the music world and the impact the events involving Randy had on those both close to him and those from afar.

Don’t expect anything to be sugar coated or fluffy with this film. Those two words could probably never be used to describe the band Lamb of God before now or after. To the point editing and straight forward accounts from those who lived it give “As the Palaces Burn” the realest feel I have gotten from a documentary to date.

Directed By: Paul W.S. Anderson
Starring: Kit Harington, Emily Browning and Carrie-Anne Moss
Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 105 minutes
TriStar Pictures

Our Score: 2 out of 5 stars

I’m not a filmmaker, but I think I found the recipe for Hollywood’s latest CGI reimagining of history, “Pompeii”:

* A disregard for human life seen in every Roland Emmerich disaster movie.
* About three seasons worth of “Games of Thrones” stylized backstory crammed into a 40 minute introductory.
* A half-hearted attempt at “Gladiator” revenge
* Sexy women. Always gotta have that.
* A couple of veteran actors to legitimize everything above.

Maybe I’m a sociopath for going in and thinking the only interesting part of this movie would be Mother Earth smothering people in toxic volcanic ash, but I know when I walk into a movie called “Pompeii”, I would not expect any less. They barely deliver on that.

Alright, so let’s at least gloss over this story that took itself way too seriously to the point of cheesiness. Milo (Harington) is a Celtic slave who carries with him the horrific memories of his entire village and parents being slaughtered by Roman soldiers. He is the latest hot commodity among slave owners because of his seemingly invincible fighting skills in the gladiatorial ring. He’s transported to Pompeii where he’s expected to take on the equally invincible, Atticus (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje). Along the way, Milo encounters Cassia (Browning) by pure chance. And by pure chance, I mean they encounter each other while he’s being transported and she’s coming back from Rome…in a city of over 10,000 people. Regardless, she becomes automatically infatuated with him. Too bad the visiting Senator Corvis (Keifer Sutherland) already has his creepy eyes on her. Oh, did I mention he’s the one who led the slaughter of Milo’s village? I’m barely scratching the surface of every little, unexplained or barely touched on, side story. There’s stuff about an unseen Roman emperor, Corvis and Cassia have some history, her parents apparently have turmoil with the empire and some flimsy attempt at making us relate to Atticus’ long path towards freedom. You’ll be rooting for the volcano to just wipe them all out.

Look, when Paul W.S. Anderson’s (not the Paul Anderson that gave us “Boogie Nights”) name pops up in the first couple of moments, you know you’re in for something lacking in plot. This movie however does play to his strong suits, CGI and violence. The fight scenes are entertaining and the multiple scenes of hundreds of people dying are entertaining. But not a lot of other things really peaked my interest. Everyone in this movie talks in angry whispers and half their conversations are passive aggressive remarks. This movie would have been a lot more fun without a story, but a lot more memorable with one.

I shouldn’t be hating this movie too much, I’m a sucker for disaster movies. Despite the constant shifting in my seat throughout, I was attentive for the film’s final act of devastation; complete with a chariot chase. The CGI is great and surprisingly the 3D was well used, especially during the eruption. If you snoozed through middle school or never passed fourth grade history, you will undoubtedly head in not knowing what the ending will be. But most people will know there ‘s no last minute heroics. I mean, the only person who saw this first hand was in a different city watching from afar. He probably didn’t want to witness the horror that was Mount Vesuvius and you probably won’t want to waste your weekend watching this. Wait for a home viewing with friends and beer handy.

Starring: Kevin Costner, Hailee Steinfield and Connie Nielsen
Directed by: McG
Rated: PG 13
Running time: 1 hour 53 mins
Realitivity Media

Our Score: 3 out of 5 stars

Ethan Renner (Costner) works for the C.I.A. At least he did until he learned, after his last mission, that he has cancer and has three months to live. Forsaking the agency he heads to Paris, where he tries to make peace with the family he basically abandoned five years ago to protect his country. He is in the process of rekindling some semblance of a life with his wife and daughter when he is informed that his country needs him again. And, in return for his help, they will give him an “experimental” drug that will enable him to live. If given that choice, what would you do?

Directed by McG with a story and script co-written by the great Luc Besson, “3 Days to Kill” is a tongue in cheek action flick that takes you a little while to get on board but, once in sync with the film, the ride is terrific. I was worried in the first few minutes when Ethan is part of a “routine” assignment, which including bad guys with code names like WOLF and THE ALBINO…pretty generic. Second worry came when he goes to buy some over the counter medicine for a cold and is given boxes with COUGH SYRUP and SUPER STRENGTH COUGH SYRUP on the packages, giving the impression this is seriously a low budget affair. Then the first building explodes and all is right with the movie world again!

More than an action-thriller, “3 Days to Kill” is also a fun look at how even the toughest guys – the baddest asses on the planet – are capable of an emotional evening with the ladies of their lives. While hoping to reconcile with his wife (Nielsen) and help his teenage daughter (“True Grit’s” Steinfield) get ready for her first prom, he must also deal with the family of squatters that have taken over his apartment (one of the daughters is pregnant and about to pop, teaching his daughter to ride a bike and basically behaving like a dad while exchanging heavy gun fire. In between the life lessons the fun and action are actioned up to just the level you’d expect out of a pairing of McG and Besson. Only Amber Heard, as the main assistant to the C.I.A. director, comes off as too over the top, finding a reason to show up in skin tight clothes to flirt at a moment’s notice. I hope to heck she’s not protecting me. Costner, in his second film this year as a C.I.A. agent, following last month’s “Jack Ryan,” handles the action well and adds some gravity to the parent-out-of-water scenario. Steinfeld is solid, though she really doesn’t have much to do but pout and complain.

Starring: Alex Pettyfer, Gabriella Wilde and Bruce Greenwood
Directed By: Shana Feste
Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 104 minutes
Universal Pictures

Our Score: 1 out of 5 stars

It must be that time of year. The quick cash in where nearly every company tries to find that bankable Valentine’s Day product. I’m not saying it isn’t a holiday(although that is up for debate), but unlike most economically driven holidays where plenty of businesses can spread out their plans over a couple of months, Valentine’s Day only hits home for a couple of days or just for the one week it rests upon. In terms of the movie industry, February is an opportune time to roll out some romance movies. This year the day of love falls on Friday and instead of taking that opportunity to shine, they’ve rolled out a cart of trash for everyone to feast on called “Endless Love”.

It’s graduation day at the only school in America that doesn’t have ugly teenagers. That’s where we meet David Elliot (Pettyfer). He looks about 10 years older than he’s suppose to be and looks so airbrushed you’d think they patterned the Ken doll off of him. Which raises even more questions as to how he’s single. Anyway…David is smitten by a girl he’s never even talked to, Jade Butterfield (Wilde). David tells us that he’s spent two years simply watching her from afar; too afraid to talk to the most antisocial, quiet girl in the school. Don’t worry, there’s plenty of more things that don’t make sense. So of course the only way for these two to finally meet and converse is at David’s job as a valet. He wins her over with a little grand theft auto and a bunch of quick near kisses. I’m barely 10 minutes in and I already wish I had the metaphorical watch to look at. So as we go through the motions, we realize that our protagonist of this movie will be Jade’s father, Hugh (Greenwood). This is because he automatically distrusts David’s chiseled good looks and scoffs at the fact he has no ambitions for college. Instead of character motivations, we’re given long speeches by characters that are horrendously written and sometimes woodenly delivered. These useless dialogues are suppose to make us feel like our characters have a deeper understanding of life, even though their asinine actions would tell us otherwise. Eventually I quit taking notes because I was putting way more thought into my review than the writers did on this script.

If you’ve never seen attractive white people fall in love before, then this movie will feel like a breath of fresh air. Since I doubt any of you haven’t, you’re going to get through the first act of this movie wondering if the projectionist left a Lifetime movie on by mistake. As you wait for the predictability to play out, you’ll begin to wonder if you’re actually trapped in a time loop where time doesn’t pass because the length really begins to feel like water torture as you pass the hour mark. Then the third act really drags out and pulls out nearly every soap opera twist it can find. This movie falls in the category of “romance movies”, but even admirers of that genre will find this movie incredibly stale. And as the old saying goes, if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.

As for the veteran actors in this movie, like Greenwood. You really feel sorry for them. The most agonizing moment comes when Robert Patrick is wheeled out as David’s father, Harry. He was probably has the only enjoyable moments because my mind wandered off to him trying to kill John Connor. It’s sad really. Hollywood had the chance to prove there’s plenty more to be done with the genre this week. They knew movie lovers would use this weekend as a chance to enjoy their two loves, their significant other and movies. Instead of dazzling them and giving them something memorable, Hollywood generated another generic and forgettable movie. You’re better off staying home with your loved one this Friday. Order a pizza and watch “Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown”. It’s more touching than this plane crash.

Starring: Kevin Hart, Michael Ealy and Regina Hall
Directed by: Steve Pink
Rated: R
Running time: 1 hour 40 mins
Screen Gems

Our Score: 2 out of 5 stars

If you have any fond memories of the 1986 film “About Last Night…” I urge you to go read the “Robocop” review also available on this site. If not…

Danny (Ealy) and Bernie (Hart) are best friends. Upwardly mobile, fairly successful and in their early 30s, their lives revolve around their jobs and their favorite bar, where they spend their time trying to pick up new ladies. Well, Bernie does. Danny is in a funk since his last girl dumped him. Tonight Bernie has met Joan (Hall) and soon the two of them are back at Bernie’s place frantically doing what Jerry Reed called in “Smokey and the Bandit” ‘he-ing and she-ing.” A few evenings later Joan introduces Danny to her roommate, Debbie (Joy Bryant). The two start off talking quietly but end up back at Danny’s place. The End. Actually there’s another 80 minutes or so left of the film but if you’re still reading I’ll keep writing.

A remake in name only, “About Last Night” is a poorly directed series of Kevin Hart skits with an occasional emotional moment somehow finding its way onto the screen. As much as I like Kevin Hart in small doses, like when he shows up on “Modern Family,” as a featured player in a movie he seems to play the same person: Chris Tucker. His motor-mouthed, high pitched performance is so reminiscent of Tucker that I kept waiting for him to yell, “can you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?” Hall keeps up with him, shrill word for shrill word. On the other side of the coin you have Ealy and Bryant. They both do their best to keep the film grounded in some sort of reality but eventually seem to give up, as if knowing it would be a thankless task. The best parts of the film are when Debbie moves in with Danny…the two of them learning to understand the commitment they’ve made, even when it seems impossible. It’s in these scenes that a little love is paid to the 1986 film (that and a short clip on television). Otherwise, the entire dynamic of the original film (Bernie and Joan HATE each other from the start. It is this dislike that keeps Danny and Debbie cautious) is totally ignored.

Instead of trying to tell a story it seems like director Pink just pointed his camera and filmed until the actors stopped talking. There is no pacing. No rhythm. You never get in a storytelling groove that might allow you to care for some of these characters. If there is anything positive at all about this film it is the performances of Ealy and Bryant.

Valentine’s Day 2014 will long be remembered as the first day that three 1980’s remakes hit theatres simultaneously (“Endless Love” also starts today). A couple more misses like this and it may be remembered as the last.

Starring: Colin Farrell and Russell Crowe
Directed by: Akiva Goldsman
Rated: PG 13
Running time: 1 hour 58 mins
Warner Brothers

Our Score: 1/2 out of 5 stars

“What the hell did I just see?”

That was my first comment to the studio representative after I screened “Winter’s Tale.” Allow me to save you two hours of your life: In 1895 a young man, with his wife and new baby, are attempting to enter the United States. Sadly, because of an illness, they are ordered back to Ireland. They beg to stay or at least leave their baby behind, thinking he would have a better life in the new world. Rebuffed, the father steals a model of a sailing ship and, when no one is looking they lower it, with the baby attached, into the harbor, apparently with the hope that the wooden toy model will carry the baby to Brooklyn. We jump ahead 21 years later to find Peter Lake (Farrell) the baby, now grown up, running from Pearly Soames (Crowe) and his gang. Cornered, Peter makes the acquaintance of a snow-white horse, one that bows and beckons Peter aboard. Once he’s on its back, he heads toward Pearly and his goons, eventually JUMPING OVER the 12 foot gate and flying away. No, seriously.

So begins what I can only imagine a film that read much better on paper. Director Goldsman, making his feature film directorial debut, is an Academy Award winning writer (“A Beautiful Mind”) that ought to know better. This film deals with immortality, chance, Satan and so many incredulous plot devices that wouldn’t pass for muster anywhere, much less New York City! When, in present day New York, Peter is asked to provide two forms of ID and can’t you have to wonder, as I did, how in the hell is he living in a nice apartment with no ID or obvious source of income? I mean this makes surviving a trip in a toy boat in New York Harbor almost believable! Almost.

Sadly the biggest waste here is a very fine performance by Colin Farrell. Equally good, in what amounts to an extended cameo, is Jennifer Connelly. Crowe appears to still be channeling Inspector Javert from “Les Miz,” only with a nasty scar added to his chubby cheeks. By the time of the “big reveal”, and if you’re still reading this you must be somehow intrigued, you’ve hopefully figured out the story. If not, like Peter Lake, you’re on your own!

Directed By: Jose Padilha
Starring: Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman and Michael Keaton
Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 118 minutes
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer

Our Score: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Here comes the obligatory comparison of the new “RoboCop” to the beloved ultra violent 1987 version. Sure this 2014 reboot comes up short in a lot of aspects that its 27-year-old sibling nailed. It lacks the wit and slights against our media driven culture. It’s satire of American politics isn’t quite as clever or absurdly funny. Also, the violence has been toned down; so don’t expect bullets to cause human bodies to erupt in blood and limbs to be blown off. And worst of all, you won’t leave the theater with any witty one liners. Despite all that, Padilha’s version is well written and a lot of fun.

While the original dropped us into a decaying, future Detroit, this one dumps us into a seemingly modernized Detroit. Regardless, it still puzzles me why a global company and it’s CEO would set up shop in a city with the country’s worst crime and poverty level. Omnicorp, headed by Raymond Sellars (Keaton), is having some difficulty pushing their crime prevention robots. I mean come on, who wouldn’t want robotic soldiers and goliath sized drones with dual machine guns patrolling the streets to keep America safe? If it’s good enough to keep Iran under our iron fist in 2028, then it’s good enough to help Americans sleep at night. So with the help of Dr. Dennett Norton (Oldman), Sellars plans on selling the American public on something else. They’ll combine a damaged human body with their military-grade robotics, to ease the minds of the public by giving them a robot with a conscience. Enter Detroit policeman Alex Murphy (Kinnaman). He’s barely being kept alive after an attempt on his life via a car bomb by a couple of corrupt cops and an underground crime boss. They’ll take what’s left of Murphy’s body, but mostly his mind, and combine it with the hardware of a killing machine. He’s an instant success at putting a dent in crime, but things go south fast when he begins to investigate his own attempted murder.

This movie changes up the tone and sometimes takes itself a bit too seriously, but some of the emotional depth it employs actually works. With this cast, it’s really hard to go wrong when wringing out some new twists on the characters. Oldman plays a great conflicted doctor with flashes of Commissioner Gordon towards the end. Keaton settles in well as a smug, evil corporate villain. Keaton needs to be in more movies as the protagonist. Samuel Jackson really steals the show as Pat Novak, an obvious poke at Fox News pundits. Jackson must have been the only one to have read this script and realize he needs to plant his tongue in his cheek. His role also proves my theory that he’s contractually obligated to drop at least one F-Bomb, censored or not, in every movie he stars in. As for Kinnaman as RoboCop…he’s alright. He’s not outstanding, but if you’re anticipating Oscar worthy performances, you’re in the wrong movie.

I’m not here to tell you that the original is a classic that should have never been remade. To be honest, there’s no real reason the original can’t be revisited or reimagined. The ‘87 version was alright, but not a groundbreaking masterpiece with a twisted lens on our future. The movie was a guilty pleasure, but it was behind the wheel when driving itself into the ground with sequels and two live action and animated series. It is easy to understand a fan’s concern that this new version could be a lifeless mockery, but the movie really does come off as a fresh product for the rebooted series. While I was hoping for a “Dredd 3D” style reimagining, this reboot kept me entertained and managed to rekindle the absurdity of a RoboCop.

Starring: Elijah Wood, John Cusack, Kerry Bishé, Alex Winter
Directed By: Eugenio Mira
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 90 minutes

Our Score: 3.5 out of 5 Stars

Elijah Wood is Tom Selznick, a pianist who gets to rare chance to participate in the musical score to his own hostage situation in Eugenio Mira’s Grand Piano. Mira takes a fairly silly setup–think Speed or Phonebooth on a night at the theatre– and turns in a fun, stylish thriller that would not be out of place in The Twilight Zone.

Selznick is a piano prodigy returning to the stage for a concert honoring his mentor after a crippling public failure sent him into hiding five years before. He’s understandably nervous and it seems in a sea of people expecting him to choke again, his only support is his wife watching from the boxes. Everything is going smoothly in preparation for the concert, much to the chagrin of the anxious Selznick. He wouldn’t mind if, for example, his mentor’s flawless custom piano hadn’t been successfully shipped to the venue that evening. But no, it’s all fine until he flips open his sheet music to find scrawled in red ink “PLAY ONE WRONG NOTE AND YOU DIE” (Here is where I half expected Rod Serling to come in smoking for a recap, alas…) Understandably, Selznick views this as a prank until the sniper gets into radio contact and provides some proof. Wood, with his wide expressive eyes and array of nervous ticks, makes for a compelling hostage drawing us in as he grasps the gravity of the situation and then little by little steeling himself as attempts to regain the upper hand and keep everyone safe.

Meanwhile John Cusack is appropriately villainous as the menacing voice on the other end of the phone. He gruffly hints at the bitterness fueling this particular heist but the film wisely avoids backstory in focusing squarely on Selznick’s predicament. Also lending a hand on the side of the baddies is a shady theatre security guard played by Alex Winter who provides the muscle to the distant sniper. He’s great as a twitchy henchman who’s not quite as invested in the concert as Cusack’s caller is.

Taking place almost entirely in the concert hall, Mira composes some gorgeous shots often in the deeps red of the theatre upholstery to pile on the tension. Occasionally the cinematography, and the film itself really, drifts into campy territory but it seems fitting within the structure of this over-the-top cat and mouse setup. After an opening credits sequence that gives a horror house ride-like tour through the inner workings of the eponymous piano, you really don’t expect anything less.

Grand Piano opens theatrically on March 7th

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Starring the voices of: Will Ferrell, Elizabeth Banks and Chris Pratt
Directed by: Phil Lord and Christopher Miller
Rated: PG
Running time: 1 hour 40 mins
Warner Brothers

Our Score: 4 out of 5 stars

“Everything is Awesome!” Or so goes the very catchy song that plays constantly on the radios of the citizens of Bricksburg, personally approved by President Business. An appropriate song, as it fit’s the movie it’s featured in perfectly.

An amazing film on so many levels, the creators of “The Lego Movie” have taken a simple plaything – seriously, it’s a block of plastic – and turned it into a fun, action packed adventure for the whole family. The story begins when Lord Vitruvius (voiced by the great Morgan Freeman) informs his followers that one day a “master builder” will show him/her self and find the missing piece to save their world. Eight and a half years later we’re introduced to Emmet (Pratt), an ordinary citizen with an ordinary job who happily sings along with the above mentioned song, watches the land’s number one television show (“Where Are My Pants?”) and lives his life by the instructions provided. One day he stumbles onto a work site where he interrupts Wyldstyle (Banks) in mid-search for the legendary missing piece. Soon he is drafted into a rebel group that includes many of the familiar pop culture characters of the past 50 years, from Batman (Will Arnett) to Lando Calrissian (Billy Dee Williams). Pursued by Bad Cop (Liam Neeson), the group manages to stay one step ahead of being captured. They discover a plot to destroy their world, courtesy of a weapon known as KRAGLE. Can our heroes save the day? Come on…Lando Calrissian.

I must admit that I never really played with LEGOs as a kid. The fact that I couldn’t even build a square probably had something to do with that. But I’ve always admired the people that can take a box and build the Death Star from “Star Wars.” That admiration grows 10 fold for the makers of this film. Everything you see on screen – from the characters, their homes…even the clouds in the sky and the water in the ocean…is a LEGO. And if you can, catch this in 3D – it’s pretty incredible. The action on screen is accompanied by some great voice actors obviously having fun. As Batman, Arnett steals the film, so much so that you can only hope for a stand-alone Batman/LEGO film one day. Others dropping by to lend their talents include Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Dave Franco and Nick Offerman. Even Shaquile O’Neal drops by. Morgan Freeman and Shaq – you’re not going to see these two guys together on screen very often. That’s awesome!

Starring: George Clooney, Matt Damon and Bill Murray
Directed by: George Clooney
Rated: PG 13
Running time: 1 hour 58 mins
Columbia

Our Score: 5 out of 5 stars

In a review written about George Clooney’s directorial debut, “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind,” the critic noted that Clooney’s work behind the camera signaled the introduction of a major filmmaking talent. Nine Academy Award nominations and two Oscar wins later, that critic proved to be right. And though I don’t like blowing my own horn I should point out here that the critic was me. A decade later, Clooney continues to impress me with his latest film, the World War II drama “Monuments Men.”

Ghent, Belgium. Despite the protests of the protective clergy, a group of Nazis is in the process of stealing the historically valuable Ghent Altarpiece. Twelve painted panels with a value to Christians that can’t be measured in money. Unfortunately, all over Europe, wherever the Nazis have gained a foothold, this story is repeated thousands and thousands of times. From large galleries to the collections from the private sector, Hitler has decreed that any and all valuable art be confiscated. His plan is to open a museum in his hometown where he can display these items. Enter Frank Stokes (Clooney), an art historian who has pressured President Roosevelt into allowing him to form a band of likeminded men in the hopes of saving history. “We need to know if the Statue of David is still standing…if the Mona Lisa is still smiling.”

Based on a true story, “The Monuments Men” tells the story of Stokes’ team and the missions they underwent to ensure that past civilizations, long gone but still remembered because of their artifacts, would not be destroyed. Though the team is made up of fellow art historians and curators, they first must endure military basic training because they must travel as part of the military. The group includes James Granger (Damon), curator of the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York, his English counterpart, Donald Jeffries (Hugh Bonneville) and French historian Jean Claude Clermont (“The Artist” Oscar winner Jean Dujardin). They are joined by three American scholars, played by John Goodman, Bob Balaban and Bill Murray. The three provide some comic relief but also some of the film’s most dramatic scenes. All are perfectly cast as is Cate Blanchett, who plays a French art curator who stands accused of helping the Nazi’s steal that country’s artifacts. As the war begins to wind down the men learn that the Russian army, in an attempt to recoup some of its monetary losses, is also looking for the stolen art with the intentions of keeping it.

Credit Clooney, the director for surrounding Clooney, the actor, with a top rate cast. Each actor is a perfect complement to the others, with no one overshadowing the other. Damon is solid, as are the rest of the actors. If I had to single out a group it would be the three scholars. All have done incredible supporting work in the past and they continue that trait here. They know why they’ve been chosen and they know what is at stake. All three bring a touch of realism to the moments depicted, with Murray making himself an early name to consider for next year’s Oscars. Technically the film is well made, with great affection and attention to detail while composer Alexandre Desplat’s score sets the perfect mood.

Starring: Kate Winslet and Josh Brolin
Directed by: Jason Reitman
Rated: PG 13
Running time: 1 hour 51 mins
Paramount

Our Score: 2.5 out of 5 stars

Thirteen year old Henry (Gattlin Griffith) is heading back to school. Summer is over and it’s time to do some shopping. Henry lives with his mother, Adele (Winslet) in a small New England town. Actually it’s the other way around. Since her husband divorced her and remarried Adele has withdrawn from the world. So much so that she only leaves the house once a month, when she drives Henry to the bank to cash a check then takes him around on a shopping run. Today she managed to actually get out of the car and join Henry as he shops for clothes. A pretty uneventful start for a holiday weekend.

Well intentioned but lacking in credibility, “Labor Day” is a bump in the so-far smooth cinematic road of director Jason Reitman. The director of such Oscar-nominated films as “Juno” and “Up in the Air,” Reitman has adapted Joyce Maynard’s novel into what can best be described as “Nicholas Sparks lite.” The story takes off when Henry is approached in the store by Frank (a never better Brolin), who has just escaped from the nearby prison. Injured, Frank strikes up a conversation with Henry and then “insists” that he and Adele give him a ride. Hoping to hide out until dark, Frank forces Adele to drive to her home, where he will be safe. He ties Adele up and warns Henry of the consequences of telling anyone what’s up. Then he makes dinner. Seriously. Digging through cupboards and the fridge he concocts what can only be described as the world’s best bowl of chilli. As Adele is still bound, he feeds it to her. Somewhere between “open up” and “thank you,” a connection is made. We know that because of the way Adele seductively blows on each spoonful to cool it off. When a neighbor comes by with a bucket of peaches Frank teaches the other two how to make a pie. I’ll assume the sight of all three of them putting their hands in the mixing bowl to squeeze the ripe peaches was supposed to evoke the pottery table scene in “Ghost,” but all I could think of was “is that really sanitary?” Of course, Frank doesn’t leave that night. He must really like pie!

If you can get past the plot (what there is of one) you’ll discover Winslet and Brolin at the top of their game. In scenes with Henry it is obvious that Adele has been hurt terribly by her divorce. She is a romantic and that romance has been taken from her. Which makes her take notice when Frank enters the picture. We’re told that Frank is a murderer but as the film progresses we learn things that go beyond black and white. Both actors give their all here and deserved a much better script. Young Griffith is equally good, giving a performance that belies his youth. Supporting turns by James Van der Beek as a local patrolman and Clark Gregg as Henry’s father keep the film interesting. But time and again, the story takes a weird turn that makes you say “huh?” I’m not an expert, but if I’d just escaped from prison and was hiding out in a small town with the law looking for me I wouldn’t be out in the driveway, fixing Adele’s car. Or fixing the porch. Or out in the yard having a catch with Henry. Of course, maybe that’s just me.

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Starring: Zac Efron, Miles Teller and Michael B. Jordan
Directed By: Tom Gormican
Rated: R
Focus Features
94 Minutes

Our Score: 1 out of 5 stars

“That Awkward Moment” is the latest attempt at a bromantic comedy. I feel arthritis settling into my wrists as I type that prefix. Recent comedies and romances are trying to find the more affectionate and passionate side of males. It’s an attempt to break down the walls of gender and show that men can be hurt, endure love and loss and attempt to fill that emotional void by eating a pint of ice cream. If you’re reading this, you’ve probably experienced the pains of relationships and some of you have lost at the game called marriage. “That Awkward Moment” thinks it’s tackling relationships in a fresh way, but instead feels like a horrendously sexist retreading of every romantic movie you’ve seen before.

Mikey (Jordan) has just recently found out his wife has been cheating on him. His marriage is crumbling and he can’t quite face the facts. So he turns to his two best friends, Jason (Efron) and Daniel (Teller). Unlike Mikey, the only character in the movie who shows signs of thought and concern, Jason and Daniel are on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. They still go to the bar and pick up chicks for a one night stand. Daniel even has a girl to help him be his wingman. At some point between the terrible jokes and predictable story, the three make a pact to not get into a relationship. I can’t believe I just witnessed that. I just watched a movie justify the character’s motivations, to sleep with random drunk girls they meet at the bar, by saying it’s for their friend who’s going through a divorce. That flimsy, barely mentioned pact, is what causes the main characters to display a failure of commitment towards the women they fall in love with in this movie. Mikey tries to reconcile with his wife, Daniel falls for his wingman(obviously) and of course Jason meets a quirky girl to fall for. And this pile of garbage just expects us to just go with it….for thousandth time in movie history.

Jordan and Teller starred in a pair of my favorite movies last year, “The Spectacular Now” and “Fruitvale Station”. To see them go from the top of their game to trying their best quick fire Judd Apatow liners about the color of a penis is a head shakingly bad drop off. After going home to look up who would ever put a pen to paper over this movie, I found out that it was on the 2010 Hollywood Blacklist. A list considered to be the best unproduced screenplays. So what the hell happened? My best guess is that the script was one page and simply said, “I have an idea that involves Zac Efron going bare ass”. But seriously, I think that none of these actors have comedic timing, but it’s not like any of the jokes were going to really cause side splitting laughter with the right talent. Even when the joke should be done, it continues flailing manically like a train off the tracks before crashing into a theater of silence.

There are no twists and turns, which gave me plenty of time to think during this dumpster fire. I managed to play out the rest of the movie in my head before it happened. I waited for their chauvinistic schemes to fall apart followed by the proverbial get back together happy ending trap all these movies have. It’s not entirely too easy to hate this movie because the actors are in this are easy to like. They’re just portraying unlikeable people. These people would be tolerable if you actually felt like there was some camaraderie and emotion behind them discovering that they’ve reached that special age where they want something more. Even if this movie was fine tuned, it’d still feel like it’s sputtering along for 94 minutes. Instead you’re left with this. And then comes that awkward moment where you ask the ticket taker if you can get a refund.

Starring: Chris Lowell, Rose McIver, Jessica Szohr, Clark Gregg, Allison Janney
Directed By: Maggie Kiley
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 80 minutes

Our Score: 1.5 out of 5 Stars

If you already know that the universe is not going to deliver everything to you personally, then you are light years ahead of the main character of Maggie Kiley’s “Brightest Star”. We meet him, simply called “The Boy” (Chris Lowell), in his self-described “biggest, deepest black hole” Which turns out to be just after being dumped by his college girlfriend. It seems a little melodramatic and the flashbacks to the actual relationship in question don’t offer much to support this reaction.

The Boy fell for this ex, Charlotte (Rose McIver), at first sight in an Astronomy class. He gazes longingly at her until he manages to score an invite to a party she’s holding for a proper introduction. They bond over Very Important Things like mac n’cheese and proper game watching snacks but eventually drift apart as Charlotte progresses in her career while the Boy stalls in his search for purpose. He falls back on dating convenient friend Lita (Jessica Szohr) whose father runs the impressive company where the Boy wishes to work to win back Charlotte. In a vaguely creepy turn of events he seeks out Charlotte’s division specifically to work on a project with him despite her protesting his presence in her life. His Charlotte obsession combined with the neglect of backup girl Lita brings the already bland Boy into very unappealing and overly-entitled territory no matter how he may wax poetic about the universe. Which as it turns out is with about as much depth as one might expect from one semester of mandatory liberal arts credit astronomy.

Along the way, there are many conversations between the Boy and his peers about the meaning of it all and seemingly an endless number of dead-end jobs he plows through–there are a baffling amount of positions available for the untrained soul-searching young guy in this film’s economy–which makes the film seem as rudderless as its protagonist. The charismatic Allison Janney turns up late in the game as an actual astronomer to seemingly set the boy on the right course but it’s remains unclear as to why this Boy deserves such salvation.

Starring: Judi Dench and Steve Coogan
Directed by: Stephen Frears
Rated: PG 13
Running time: 1 hour 38 mins
The Weinstein Company

Our Score: 5 out of 5 stars

Philomena Lee (Dench) is celebrating an important birthday today. Not her own, mind you. 50 years ago the young Philomena met a handsome young man at the local carnival and ended up with a prize she didn’t expect. Sent to the local Abbey to have the baby she finds herself indentured to the nuns, working to not only pay for the care of her child but to “atone for her sins.” When her young son is put up for adoption she is devastated, never forgetting the little boy she loves.

Equal parts affecting yet exhilarating, “Philomena” is that rare congress of a talented triangle of acting, writing and directing. Dench is brilliant as the adult Philomena (she recently received her seventh Academy Award nomination for her work here). In spite of her generally outgoing appearance there is a sadness behind her eyes born of five decades of heartbreak. Coogan, who also co-wrote the film with British-television writer Jeff Pope, is equally effective in a rare dramatic turn. Best known for his work in comedies like “Tropic Thunder” and “Hamlet 2,” he excels here as former BBC journalist Martin Sixsmith, on his own journey of redemption after being caught in a political scandal. Special credit must also be given to Sophie Kennedy Clark, whose performance as the younger Philomena matches Dench’s note for note.

Coogan, Pope and director Frears have managed to make religion the centerpiece of the film without you really knowing they have. Whatever your beliefs, you will silently begin to question them as the film progresses. This is done subtlety…there is no giant hammer hitting you over the head. As the film progresses, from Ireland to America and back, you are constantly mulling over who, and what, was right or wrong. Martin convinces his editor that this will be a “human interest story” but it truly is much, much more.