Panic Fest Film Review: “Azrael”

Starring: Samara Weaving, Vic Carmen Sonne and Nathan Stewart-Jarrett
Directed by: E.L. Katz
Rated: NR
Running Time: 85 minutes

Our Score: 4 out of 5 stars

Movies being shelved is nothing new. However, the legend and infame of those films remains. Depending on the genre, that movie can spend years being whispered about before it ever sees the light of day or is shown beyond secret Hollywood home screenings. The latest potentially shelved and never to be seen again (I’ll get to this later) film is “Azrael,” a post-apocalyptic film that uses Biblical theology to tell a wordless story splattered in blood and shockingly delivers unexpected supernatural thrills without a single syllable of discernable dialogue.

Samara Weaving plays the titular Azrael, who roams the woods dodging mud covered looking creatures with disfigured twitching torsos and milky zombie eyes, and other humans looking to sacrifice her to those previously described creatures. All the humans we encounter, except for one, have removed their vocal cords, leaving a cross as a scar over their throat. You see, this film takes place after the Christian rapture, the supposedly end-of-times day where all of God’s believers are taken to Heaven before good and evil lay waste to the Earth in battle. So, as the movie goes, you automatically know nothing is off the table in terms of supernatural shenanigans, morality, and what happens to the pregnant villain of the story. That being said, nothing is officially known.

You will learn nothing as the film goes along and at times it’s almost like watching someone choose their own adventure based on knowledge they’re not telling you. Besides onscreen text, the magnificent facial acting of the entire cast (especially Weaving) the privileged few who attended a director screening of the cut (Me!), you will not ever 100% (maybe even 50-90%) know what is actually going on. It’s entirely possible that multiple people with different theories as to what is happening aren’t wrong. Even at the Panic Fest screening, the film’s writer, Simon Barrett, was mum on the more specific plot details and ideas.

“Azrael” deserves a proper autopsy if it is never released, but right now, it’s an unseen circus act I’m guaranteeing is worth the price of admission. It’s difficult to glow about a film that may never see the light of day because, as Barrett also stated at Panic Fest’s “Azrael” screening, the movie is currently in limbo. Just a little after it’s SXSW premiere, the distributing company for “Azrael” seems ready to do what other distributors have done recently, just like with “Batgirl.” Whether it’s because shelving the film will save “save money,” “trim fat,” or whatever potential lie the millionaire powers to be are claiming, it’s frustrating. Even if someone disagreed with me about “Azrael,” they deserve the opportunity to watch it. “Azrael” is more than a silent gimmick, it’s an experience you’ll never forget. Buoyed by Weaving’s face, the film is relentless, even as it blows past questions it’s never going to answer.

Film Review: “Ready or Not”

Starring: Samara Weaving, Adam Brody and Mark O’Brien
Directed By: Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett
Rated: R
Running Time: 95 minutes
Fox Searchlight

I guess a film like “The Hunt” was a little bit too on the nose. There were several disappointed horror junkies, back on August 7th, when it was announced the latest Blumhouse film would be shelved after several mass shootings in America, along with some rumored outrage by President Trump. Maybe those disappointed filmgoers, who are going this year without another “Purge” movie as well, can get a cathartic release from “Ready or Not.”

It’s Grace (Weaving) and Daniel Le Lomas’ (Brody) wedding day. The young couple is getting married at the Le Lomas’ mansion, which was built on a card and board game empire. Daniel’s family, which he begrudgingly introduces to Grace, is an eclectic bunch. Which is a nice way of saying they’re a bunch of snobby 1%’s who believe Grace is a gold digger. Whether or not they warm up to Daniel’s love seems to come down to strange family ritual, a game. Grace must draw a playing card from the film’s McGuffin, and play the game that’s printed on that card. She’s told by several other people who’ve married into the family that they simply played a game Chess or a round of Old Maid. She draws Hide and Seek.

You’ll be disappointed if you go into “Ready or Not” expecting a rich satire about politics and class, but if you’re expecting a gory good time you’ll be stuffed. The goal of Hide and Seek, for the Le Lomas’ family, is to hunt down and kill Grace. This isn’t supposed to be for sport, but to maintain an otherworldly pact, which is certainly a dig at the corrupting power of wealth. If you start thinking about some of the film’s inherent flaws, the set-up quickly falls apart and you’ll begin to wonder about things like logic. So don’t think too hard during this one.

The film isn’t short on violent deaths, blood and visually graphic tomfoolery. It’s all played for comedic effect and eye-wincing shock. Some of the more comedic moments are when one of the drugged out members of the Le Lomas family continuously manages to find accidental ways to kill mansion staff, while some of the most visually disturbing scenes include one where a character makes unfortunate use of a gaping wound in their hand. The scenes unfortunately smack audiences at a blistering pace. There’s a lot of downtime for the characters to wordlessly linger from scene-to-scene and discuss inconsequential plot points.

“Ready or Not” promises a fun cat-and-mouse game, but ends up repeating the formula of Grace being captured, but only to escape. This happens about half a dozen times, if not more, including three times in the climax. At least the movie wrings out a strong performance from Weaving, who has the makings of a scream queen. She has a cold icy stare when her character is in vengeance mode, as well as a perfect high-pitched scream during moments of physical agony and mental anguish. Everyone else is casually fine. The problem is that the actors portraying the Le Lomas clan can’t decide whether or not to be cognizant of the absurdity of it all.

“Ready or Not” sits in between the two extremes of horror content in 2019. It’s not a complete misfire like “Ma,” but it isn’t as intricately put together as “Midsommar” or “Us.” It’s a film that’ll satisfy the late night sweet tooth for people wanting to gnaw on a dark comedy and have guilty belly laughs. It’s the kind of genre mash-up that would have developed a cult following in the 80’s.