Film Review: “Satranic Panic”

Starring: Cassie Hamilton, Zarif and Chris Asimos
Directed by: Alice Maio Mackay
Rated: NR
Running Time: 81 minutes
Dark Star Pictures

Our Score: 3 out of 5 Stars

On one hand, “Satranic Panic” is a film featuring heaping doses of drag shows, demons and dismemberment. What more could you honestly ask for in an LGBTQ+ horror film? On the other hand, the film does something you wouldn’t expect in between scenes of blood and viscera, it makes you want to have a drink or a smoke with its characters while lending an ear as they discuss what’s on their world weary shoulders.

Aria (Cassie Hamilton) rules the stage, belting out mesmerizing songs that may or may not serve as plot points. Off stage, she misses Max (Sebastien Grech), the boyfriend of her best friend, Jay (Zarif). They casually recount, which helps set up the bizarre and sometimes comedic tone of the film, how Jay was murdered by Satanists, or at the very least, a group of people who enjoy demonic looking cult attire. During the discussion backstage, they’re attacked by a well-dress hillbilly man who shapeshifts into a demon. The encounter has convinced Aira and Jay that it’s finally time to find Max’s killers and get revenge, especially since Aria has demon sensing abilities, thanks to an estrogen shot.

While the plot comes off as chaotic, it’s never confusing. Instead of bogging the viewer down in more otherworldly details, it manages to take the cast from one adventurous excursion to another, while unveiling more about the emotional baggage and turmoil each character brings with them on the trip. Of course, the film has a villain and there is a connection between the cult who killed Max and the random appearances of demons. The villain represents what you can pretty much you can piece together from the title and cast of predominantly queer, nonbinary and trans individuals.

This was one of the many films I was unable to catch at 2024’s Panic Fest, which is a shame because this is the kind of film that works best with a crowd. While the laughs would be hearty, the attention to emotional reveals would be palpable by the hundreds of glued eyeballs on the screen. “Satranic Panic” has a bit of a Troma charm to it, which means it’s far from being a mainstream film and will be adored by horror fans. Generally speaking, horror has been a safe haven for the outcasts of society. Seeing the trans community swipe back at Christian nationalists who believe someone’s sexuality is the downfall of society, wouldn’t quite resonate as much as it does outside the horror fanbase and LGBTQ+ community.

Despite “Satranic Panic” being her fourth film, there’s this likable first-time indie vibe that permeates throughout director/writer Alice Maio Mackay’s work. It’s surprising because the vibe radiates underneath the cheeky and emotional confidence of its cast (with major props to Hamilton and Chris Asimos), its gloomy neon glow and ludicrous plot that makes us feel genuine connections to our characters on their chaotic road trip. While the movie sometimes fails to balance its cheese and seriousness, especially with it’s underlying themes, “Satranic Panic” is still an entertaining embodiment of gory cinematic passion.

Film Review: “Faceless After Dark”

Starring: Jenna Kanell, Danny Kang and Danielle Lyn
Directed by: Raymond Wood
Rated: NR
Running Time: 83 minutes
Dark Sky Films

Our Score: 3.5 out of 5 Stars

Has horror even been this meta? “Bodies Bodies Bodies,” “X,” “One Cut of the Dead,” and “Totally Killer” are just a few of the meta horror movies from the past couple of years that I can think of off the top of my head. It’s been an interesting subgenre for decades, but it seems to have crescendoed recently. However, have we ever had an actor or actress in a newly beloved horror film take on their own success through the meta medium? After several film festivals, “Terrifier” began making the rounds in 2018. Since then, and thanks to the highly successful sequel, “Terrifier 2,” Art the Clown is slowly becoming a household slasher name and Jenna Kanell’s career has taken off. I’ve seen Kanell once a year in one film or another and she has this dangerous, yet fun magnetism about her. This is basically what “Faceless After Dark” is.

Bowie (Jenna Kanell) is famous after starring in a film where she dukes it out with a sociopathic killer clown. It leads to more horror film offers, conventions on weekends and an internet buzz that seems inescapable. But it isn’t the boost to her career she was expecting. She doesn’t like the convention circuit, she doesn’t like being typecast as the final girl, she doesn’t like the lack of pay, she doesn’t like that her creative ideas and aspirations are ignored and she definitely doesn’t like the daily parade of older, uglier, fatter and hideous men sliding into her DMs. This frustration builds and builds until one night, a person imitating the sociopathic killer clown from Bowie’s famous film enters her home during another frustrating night of writer’s block. However, she may have just found her inspiration.

“Faceless After Dark ” blurs the lines so much between Kanell/Bowie, we’re unsure about quite a lot as the film progresses. We enjoy watching Bowie getting vengeance, but how much of this is entrenched in Kanell’s beliefs and existence within the artist and audience dynamic? There aren’t too many clues during Bowie’s blood rage to mine out a direct interpretation of Kanell’s attitudes. She might actually be a true sociopath if that was the case, but the film does have a very cathartic nature to it. We may not understand the strife on screen, but we understand how social media, the constant negativity it pours into our lives, and the contemporary world around us becomes more and more of a burden the more we allow our lives to bleed into social media. That’s when the mess of the world feels more tangible than other issues in our life that we can actually handle and change. It’s a human breaking point of needing to lash out when the world feels like it’s lashing you daily.

There’s a lot of pondering going on behind Kanell’s eyes, whether it’s while she checks her phone, edits video footage or stares with pure determination into the camera during a strobe light montage of violent imagery. On top of Kanell’s mysteriousness, “Faceless After Dark” makes a few interesting remarks about the slasher genre. The title slasher, whether it be Freddy Krueger, Jason Vorhees or even Art the Clown, always seems to be given the true love and adoration while the love and adoration for final girls like Bowie/Kanell may be at times genuine, but sometimes sexually motivated and overtly creepy. It’s also interesting that many slashers simply kill to kill, sometimes indiscriminately or, as it was stated for years, because they had sex. We still love those male slashes for it. In “Faceless After Dark,” it’s almost like Bowie needs an emotional excuse instead of indiscriminate slashing. Without that linchpin, we risk not liking her. Odd, isn’t it?

“Faceless After Dark” is a suitable slasher, but is way better as the meta slasher it angles to be. If you don’t know Kanell and the “Terrifier” franchise, I doubt you’d understand a lot of the film and I also doubt you’d be interested in this film in the first place.  Led by Kanell, who may deserve her own slasher series after this, “Faceless After Dark” is a vicious spectacle that will potentially have genre fans questioning their own fandom and what the film ultimately represents.

Panic Fest Film Review: “New Life”

Starring: Hayley Erin, Sonya Walger and Tony Admendola
Directed by: John Rosman
Rated: NR
Running Time: 85 minutes
XYZ Films

Our Score: 3.5 out of 5 Stars

We don’t know who or what she’s running from, but we know it’s serious when we first meet Jessica (Hayley Erin). Jessica, with a splattering of blood on her face, is heading to the Canadian border through the mountainous west. Hot on Jessica’s tail is Elsa (Sonya Walger), an FBI agent who just received a crippling diagnosis that is immediately viewed as a death sentence. Both are resourceful, Jessica is scrappy while Elsa is calculating, but only one is willing to put humanity on the line in this pursuit.

“New Life” isn’t what you’d expect from a first-time writer/director and a group of producers who’ve made nothing but horror films. There are some horror elements, but “New Life” is a slow burning look at humanity from two different lenses. Jessica is relatively young, still views the world optimistically and is simply looking to start anew and live. Elsa, is towards the end of her career, views the world sardonically and is so-focused on her job of catching Jessica, that she ignores helpful advice from her friends, co-workers and doctor. The individual journeys are more entertaining than anything else in the film, even the end of the world possibilities aren’t as weighty, but that’s intentional.

After a slow start, “New Life” gets straight to the point, giving us that personalized view of the world from each character. Elsa is ready to nab Jessica, but she isn’t. She doesn’t want to face what comes next. She’d rather face a crisis that’s existentially awful for everyone, and do it her own way. Jessica faces a recent past that’s already caught up to her, but has decided that her life is still worth living, even if that means death for everyone else. As to what happens when the two finally meets, is the ultimate thrill of “New Life.”

The acting by Erin and Walger is nearly flawless as they play two sides of the same coin. We relate to Jessica so well, even when she isn’t saying anything. We can sense immediately that she’s a good person who has found herself in the middle of an awful situation. We relate to Elsa equally because she’s able to command everything and everyone around her through her words, not her action. Even though Jessica’s the one being chased, it seems like we’re able to be at ease around her, but on high alert with Elsa at first. The great thing about “New Life” though, is that as the movie goes, the ease and tension, flip flop throughout until the final act.

“New Life” is about being human and the ensuing complications. Because we relate so well with Elsa and Jessica, the ending almost serves as an emotional thump to the chest. We don’t know whether to be happy, sad or indifferent. Life isn’t as black and white, even with two characters and those two characters carry the nuance of life with them. For these two alone, “New Life” is a must watch, even if you aren’t into slow burns.

Panic Film Fest 2024 Rankings

Every year I try to watch as many films as I can at Panic Fest. It’s impossible to get to all of them in the brief week-and-a-half, but I get better at it every year. I managed to watch more films this year than last year, catching around 80% of the film’s offered in-person and virtually at the 2024 iteration. I haven’t done this in the past, but decided to do it this year because I don’t get the opportunity to write something on everything I see. I really don’t have the time or willpower to churn out 37 reviews. I figured the best way to encapsulate the films at Panic Fest is to write a blurb about each film and rank them compared to one another. So, without further ado, below is a ranking of this year’s films, so you can keep an eye out for them as they travel at other festivals around the country or hit theaters.

#37: Haunted Ulster: Live
-Not for me. I’m not sure how you define a film like “Haunted Ulster: Live.” It reminds me a lot of “WNUF: Halloween Special.” I appreciate the nostalgic nature of local live TV events, but “Haunted Ulster: Live” feels more like an inside joke than a found TV footage film.

#36: Young Blondes, Stalked and Murdered
-Sometimes the title is the film. It worked in the 80s with films like “Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama,” but for “Young Blondes, Stalked and Murdered,” not so much. It’s a promising film, but by the end, you wonder if it would have been better served as a short.


#35: NOCLIP

-You’ve heard of a microbudget, right? Well, “NOCLIP” is a nanobudget. While I didn’t like it, I commend the creators for their couch cushion change budget approach to a film about two stoners wandering around a mall parking lot in search of the creepypasta “Backrooms.”

#34: The Buildout
-I heard a lot of buzz about this during Panic Fest, but unfortunately all that buzz did not resonate with me. “The Buildout” is about two friends in the desert who have to come face-to-face with their emotional and spiritual issues, but by the time it happens I quit caring.

#33: The Hyperborean
-”The Hyperborean” is a comedy. I think. I didn’t laugh, but I found some of it amusing. It’s almost like “The Royal Tenenbaums” with mummies, aliens (once again, I think) and general family chaos. The only thing it’s missing was likability.

#32: Carnage Radio
-”Carnage Radio” reminded me a lot of “Below the Fold.” Both seem to take place in a small town community, both have an unsolved mystery at the beginning, and both are competently shot and acted. There’s just no meat on the bones.

#31: Killington
-Sometimes you watch a film that makes you think about your own years of making a movie or someone else’s. Maybe it was with friends on a phone or maybe for a college class. “Killington” feels like one of those movies, which means every positive is outweighed by the negative.

#30: Hippo
-I’m not going to pretend to know what “Hippo” is about. Multiple people have asked me what it’s about and I tell every one of those individuals that the title character is an obnoxious incel version of Napoleon Dynamite. That to me either makes or breaks your viewing experience.

#29: All Alone Together
-What happens when a filmmaker’s visions turn into real nightmares? “All Alone Together” attempts to answer that question in a very entertaining 15-20 minutes, but the longer it goes, the more you question the necessity of it being a feature length film.

#28: The Activated Man
-What does a creepy pale nightmare man with a black hat have to do with the spiritual war between good and evil? I’m not sure, but “The Activated Man” will either hit you right in your feelings or will leave you wondering what exactly you’re missing out on.

#27: Worlds
-Worlds uses other people’s Ring doorbell footage, along with cops and others, to create a mystery about its title character, a man in a white shirt that says “WORLDS”. The film ends up creating a mystery longer than its runtime, leaving viewers unsatisfied.

#26: All You Need is Death
-What happens when two people recording old folk music record a song they shouldn’t? Good question, because “All You Need is Death” may have been lost in translation. While some elements of the film are universal, others may need to be explained to my American mind.

#25: Kryptic
-A woman with no knowledge of who she is goes on a journey involving cryptids, cults and unsavory characters. The journey in “Kryptic” is fascinating at first, but it becomes clear as the film goes that the filmmaker should have worked a bit longer on a point.

#24: Psychosis
-Technically speaking, I enjoyed this film a lot. It felt very much like an early-90s student film delving into insanity. However, the script just doesn’t match the overall tone. Instead of exploring its themes, it just kind of presents them and hopes that’s enough.


#23: Hostile Dimensions

-What if existence is an endless stream of realities where each individual choice and thought spurs an entire next reality? That’s what “Hostile Dimensions” posits, but only uses that theory to spin a more personal story. It runs out of ideas, despite the notion of infinite possibilities.

#22: Spookt
-In small town Pennsylvania, an abandoned haunted house serves as the source for all rumors and evil. So it’s up to two Youtubers, a skeptic and a believer in the paranormal, to find out if something is indeed in the house. You’ll eventually find out the obvious answer, but you have an incredibly confusing plot to get through first.

#21: The Ceremony is About to Begin
-I find myself being indifferent towards “The Ceremony is About to Begin.” While starting off like a PBS documentary about a drug-fueled cult, and very few aren’t it seems like, the film evolves into something else as the director goes searching for the truth. The truth is apparent, but thankfully for the audience, the director is ignorant.

#20: Purgatory Jack
-”Purgatory Jack” is about what happens to our souls after suicide. It sounds like a dark premise, but it’s actually quite fun. Named like a western, shot like a bright noir mystery and acted like the insane idea it is, “Purgatory Jack” is entertaining even if it’s not great. It’s a comfort food for some and sometimes that’s really all you need.

#19: Blind Cop 2
-I actually thought “Blind Cop 2” would be the best comedy at Panic Fest, but it’s not. A film like “Wolf Cop” (a Panic Fest alum) understands what it is and never does more. “Blind Cop 2” understands it’s a parody of 80s action films, but it attempts to parody too much. While funny, it makes you wonder if the filmmakers were confident in the core material to begin with.

#18: Don’t Die
-It’s hard to write about “Don’t Die” because I keep thinking about how it’s “Get Out” without a Hollywood budget. The stories aren’t beat-for-beat the same, but the themes are very similar. That being said, it’s not a bad thing. “Don’t Die” still has its own story on race and classism, and was a passable watch at this year’s Panic Fest.

#17: Couples to Hell
-”Couples to Hell” is an anthology movie where the four stories are written and directed by the same director. The idea in this anthology is that it’s all about couples, even though it really isn’t. Anthology films are difficult to pull off for a variety of reasons, but this one at least has four interesting tales, even if there’s no connective tissue, wraparound story or sense of purpose.

#16: Jeffrey’s Hell
-Aaron Irons, who wrote, directed, acted, and probably did everything else, highlights the evil that can be found in the Appalachian Mountains through “Jeffrey’s Hell.” It’s a found footage film that doesn’t follow the rules of found footage. We’re not upset by this rule breaking because something paranormal is telling us, there are no rules.

#15: Never Hike Alone 2
-The “Never Hike Alone” fan franchise is built off the “Friday the 13th” studio franchise, probably one of the only successful cases of this happening. Successful meaning, on-par if not better than the source material. The latest entry not only has Jason being the stocky mass killing machine he is, but builds upon Jason’s mythology and its own fan mythology in the process.

#14: What You Wish For
-What’s Nick Stahl been up to? Not sure, but his latest film, “What You Wish For,” shows he’s still a talent for whomever rolls the dice on him. “What You Wish For” is thrilling and surprising enough to recommend, however, there are moments where it feels like someone watched “The Menu,” and wanted to make their own small budget version.

#13: Heiresses
-Oddly enough, this was my final watch for Panic Fest 2024 and I almost turned it off because I felt like it was going nowhere. The dialogue-heavy film takes a dramatic exit to shocking violence and ends up becoming an interesting metaphor on grief and our inability to deal with it. I’ll be honest though, if the third act never arrived, this wouldn’t be nearly as high on the list.

#12: Sheryl
-We all got stories about our own quest to find love, only to fail. Finding love is hard enough, but imagine finding the right one while finding out you have a new passion, murder. “Sheryl” is never what you expect. Even though I knew going in that the title character would be handling a break-up with a serial killer that introduced her to murder, I didn’t expect all that came after.


#11: Mother Father Brother Sister Frank

-It seems like every year, there’s a dark comedy at Panic Fest. What kind of genre festival would be complete without one? “Mother Father Brother Sister Frank” is about family and the parts of that family that you wish you weren’t blood related to. This tight winter comedy focuses on how a family deals with Uncle Frank, who isn’t bringing tidings and good cheer. The family isn’t dysfunctional, they just need some bonding time over what to do with Uncle Frank.

#10: New Life
-For those who experienced COVID-19, the pandemic will never not be a thought during film’s like “New Life.” On paper, it’s a movie that’s about two women. Both are battling with the idea of mortality, but only one is looking to put a stop to the potential apocalypse. “New Life” shows us that dramas can have horror, tangible and fictional, sprinkled throughout. Our two leads elevate “New Life” to levels that wouldn’t be possible on the script alone.

#9: Sting
-Two spider movies? At least this one didn’t scare the hell out of me. “Sting” is the kind of spider film that people with intense arachnophobia might be able to handle, much like “Eight Legged Freaks.” The scares aren’t as serious as the peril our characters find themselves in, but “Sting” is a 21st century B-movie creature feature. It is what it is and you’re either going to have a great time, nitpick it to death or avoid it at all costs.

#8: Off-Ramp
A road-trip movie with its tongue planted firmly in its cheek, “Off-Ramp” was one of the films I was looking forward to immediately based on its premise and didn’t disappoint. Two stoner juggalos find trouble and some unexpected new family members on a journey to the “Gathering of the Juggalos.” When the film isn’t having fun or throwing us into the middle of chaos, it’s showing how the juggalo lifestyle isn’t as maligned as you might think.

#7: Ghost Game
-Combine social media challenges, a potentially haunted house, and a cast of characters more ludicrous (in a good way) than the next and you’ve got “Ghost Game.” The film handles multiple themes and threads seamlessly during its brief runtime. Panic Fest has become the premiere festival for various Kansas City voices over the years. With a breathtaking pace, fun characters and a wicked story, “Ghost Game” might just be the biggest premiere of them all.

#6: Sleep
-What would you do if your partner was a potential threat to your newborn? Intentionally or not, “Sleep” not only examines that question, but flips all your preconceived notions during the first hour on its head during a creepy second half. “Sleep” is the best foreign language film to hit Panic Fest 2024. “Sleep” is the kind of film that would have newlyweds and other couples reconsidering the prospect of bringing a new life into the world.

#5: Livescreamers
-Video games that kill you while you play aren’t the most successful of horror genres. “Livescreamers” might be the first successful film in this niche genre. While still a low-budget and small scale film, “Livescreamers” utilizes a unique camera set-up and the Unreal Engine to craft a timely film about how society hasn’t fully learned its lesson since #MeToo. It’s also an insider look and discussion about how damaging internet culture has become, even when it’s all fun and games.

#4: Azrael
-If “Azrael” never sees the light of day, I’ll consider myself fortunate for watching one of the more unique genre films of the past decade. Without uttering a single word (I lied, maybe several in an obscure language), “Azrael” winds its way through a post-Apocalyptic wasteland inspired by “Revelations” and “Left Behind.” Samara Weaving nails her performance and once again has a knack for finding diamonds in the rough scripts to exercise her acting skills. This is a film I’m hoping to watch again, if the studio doesn’t leave it on the shelf.

#3: Oddity
-Something supernatural is afoot in “Oddity,” a tense thriller about a murdered wife and her sister who is attempting to find her real killer. “Oddity” utilizes shadows, a digital camera, a wooden mannequin, and other innocuous inanimate objects to elicit terror. As the mystery unravels, the supernatural forces at work begin to reveal themselves in menacing fashion. While the premise didn’t seem all that promising, it only took a few minutes into “Oddity” for it to unsettle me and keep me on the edge of my seat for the rest of its runtime.

#2: Cannibal Mukbang
-Little did I know the first great romance film of 2024 would be “Cannibal Mukbang.” I was just expecting some fun and gore, but I got way more than that. This genre roller coaster is at times, cute and rom-comish, while at other times is brutally horny and dementedly gory. From the script to the acting to the practical effects, “Cannibal Mukbang” is unforgettable. The director, Aimee Kuge, who worked on several episodes of “The Last Drive-In” with Joe Bob Briggs, has made one of the more mainstream exploitation films I’ve ever seen.

#1: Infested
-It was very difficult to pick a favorite film at this year’s Panic Fest and I feel like I could make a case for the top four on this list, but after much consideration, it has to go to “Infested.” This isn’t only the best film at Panic Fest 2024, but may be on its way to one of the best of 2024. This is a movie that will crawl under your skin at a frightening pace. At one point during the film I felt like something was on me and freaked out. Even well after the film, I was avoiding dark corners and anywhere spiders are lurking. This film is a must-see for horror fans.

Panic Fest Film Review: “Oddity”

Starring: Carolyn Bracken, Gwilym Lee and Tadhg Murphy
Directed by: Damian Mc Carthy
Rated: NR
Running Time: 98 minutes
Shudder

Our Score: 4 out of 5 Stars

At the 2021 Panic Fest, “Caveat” was one of the many films I missed. It wasn’t until last year that I gave it a watch on Shudder and couldn’t believe I had missed this film, and waited so long to watch it. Looking not to make the same mistake again, I saw that director/writer Damian Mc Carthy’s second film, “Oddity” was coming to this year’s Panic Fest and it’s another high recommendation.

Darcy (Carolyn Bracken) is home alone at her and her husband’s fixer-upper country home. The reconstruction process is so intense, the couple sleep in a tent in the living quarters while repairing it. Well, she at least sleeps alone at night because her husband, Ted (Gwilym Lee) works nights at a mental hospital. Settling in for another lonesome night, Darcy hears a frantic knock at the door to find one of her husband’s former patients warning her in the dead of night, “Someone is in there with you.”

Cut to one year into the future, Darcy is dead, believed to be murdered by that patient, but that story doesn’t sit right with Dani (Carolyn Bracken again), Darcy’s twin sister. However, Dani is blind and takes care of the family’s oddity shop. She serves as a medium for the store, seeing the power and spirits behind every object in the store. Dani, believing something is up, visits Ted’s rural home with one of the most horrifying wooden mannequins you will ever lay eyes on.

In lesser hands, a film like “Oddity” would have failed. The story would have gotten in the way of the spook house scares or the spook house scares would have overwhelmed the developing mystery. Either way, Mc Carthy is a master with this winding thriller. He has an extreme knack for effective and claustrophobic settings. Most of “Oddity” takes place at the rural renovated country home and you never feel comfortable any moment you’re there. Even when the sun is up and the lights are on, you constantly sense that something angry and vengeful is there.

Bracken turns in a fantastic performance as the twins. While we don’t get too much screen time with Darcy, we get plenty of it with Dani. Bracken is able to make Dani menacing even if she can’t see and is at times helpless. Her ferociousness is comedic, relatable and sometimes unnerving. Dani, as a character, is flawless. Complimenting Bracken’s performances is Lee, who plays a healthy skeptic, even if everything happening in the house is beyond any explanation he can think of.

All the haunted house thrills are scattered throughout “Oddity,” so you never feel comfortable, but you’re always being thrilled in some capacity. That’s why I believe the storytelling in “Oddity” shows how much Mc Carthy has grown as a writer since “Caveat.” While “Caveat” was hard to follow at times, “Oddity” is all red meat as it will make you laugh, peek between your fingers, and keep you on the edge of your seat. “Oddity” is sure to end up on some best of lists this year.

Panic Fest Film Review: “Infested”

Starring: Theo Christine, Sofia Lesaffre and Jerome Niel
Directed by: Sebastien Vanicek
Rated: NR
Running Time: 106 minutes
Shudder

Our Score: 4 out of 5 Stars

It’s interesting that Panic Fest 2024 is bookended by spider movies. The first being “Sting,” a fun B-movie about an adorable spider that gets bigger and bigger, while menacing an apartment complex. The second is almost a shade similar, but first you need to take out the B-movie fun and replace it with midnight terror. As for the adorable spider, go ahead and replace that with terrifying spiders that come in all shapes and sizes. Now you have the Shudder instant classic, “Infested.”

“Infested” takes place at a rundown, urban French apartment complex. The 14-story building appears to only be maintained by a short, frail Asian woman and inhabited by impoverished young adults. Kaleb (Theo Christine) struggles financially, making very little off the high-end sneakers he sells, while living with his sister Manon (Lisa Nyarko) who is prepping their inherited home to sell. The two are constantly bickering, but their differences percolate while we watch Kaleb buy an illegal spider from one of his shoe supplies. Kaleb is a creepy crawler lover, so he doesn’t suspect much about the spider. He’s going to add it to his growing collection which features a scorpion, centipede, and other multi-legged bugs and creatures. But as soon as he turns his back, the spider escapes. He simply thinks it’s taking refuge in his apartment, but it’s about to turn the apartment complex into it’s new nest. But first it’s got a lot of breeding and growing to do.

“Infested” throws us into a fresh new arachnophobia hell, as the few spiders that are spotted in the background begin to double in number and size. Soon the spiders become emboldened and we see them in all their detailed horror. While our characters bicker amongst themselves over past issues, their current situation is rapidly deteriorating, but they don’t know it until it’s too late. Every moment someone in the apartment complex peers into the dark, sticks their hand in a hole or generally does something they shouldn’t, the jump scares come fast and heavy. It may be my own arachnophobia speak, but every scare is earned and unique. The movie implements the creepy crawling speed and ferociousness with a heart pounding soundtrack. It’s the kind of film that might even scare the biggest of spider lovers.

While the spiders pick off the tenants, a growing sense of French society begins to come into focus. While they could just leave the apartment, the government has barricaded everyone inside, most likely finding out a spider infestation of apocalyptic proportions is happening. But the police quickly reveal their hand, showing they don’t care if everyone dies inside. “Infested” is also a movie about societal failure, and how the poorest of society are forgotten and easily disposable. That theme isn’t a big factor though because most of the time our heroes are attempting to escape the grasp of thousands of eight-legged freaks.

Sebastien Vanicek, the director of “Infested,” has already been tapped for the next “Evil Dead” movie and it’s easy to see why. “Infested” is the kind of film that gets your adrenaline pumping, your heart racing, and your fears running high. It also manages to squeeze in some hearty laughs, even as you know death and terror are right around the corner. If you aren’t seeing “Infested” in a crowded dark theater, not only are you doing yourself a disservice, but you risk feeling the spiders on you as you watch one of the best horrors of the year at home.

Panic Fest Film Review: “Boy Kills World”

Starring: Bill Skarsgard, Famke Jannsen and Jessica Rothe
Directed by:
Rated: R
Running Time: 111 minutes
Roadside Attraction/Lionsgate

Our Score: 3.5 out of 5 Stars

It’s very hard to pull off an action comedy that’s been punched up with different genres like sci-fi and horror. It’s definitely possible, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost basically pulled it off three times. But there are other films that pull it off by going balls to wall with bone crunching kung-fu fighting, deranged, yet hilarious violence, and creating a world of Looney Toons absurdism. Those are films like “Boy Kills World.”

Boy (Bill Skarsgard) is being trained by a mystery hobo ninja in the woods surrounding a post-Apocalyptic “Hunger Games” matriarchy-run city. Boy, when he’s fully realized his potential and goal as the ultimate weapon, is to beat the Van Der Koy family (Famke Janssen, Michelle Dockery, Brett Gelman and Sharlto Copley) to death with his crackling fists. He thirsts for Van Der Koy blood because his family was murdered at their hands, including his best friend, his little sister, who still talks to him, and dog him like little sisters do, as a guiding spirit. Oh, and because Boy is deaf and mute, and doesn’t remember his voice, his inner voice is H. Jon Benjamin.

While starting a little slow, like a warm-up jog, the film goes full slugfest, shootout bonkers when Boy realizes it’s time to fulfill his goal. While it could be visually taxing to wrap yourself around the the sweat, blood-covered Skarsgard dispensing bad guys with horrific weapons like a cheese grater, with Bob Belcher’s voice, the movie cleverly uses them separately and together throughout the film to let the action remain thrilling and the comedy to remain uproarious. As a viewer, we do end up admiring Boy because his emotional layers are peeled back through Skarsgard’s commanding eyes and his spirit ghost sister that pops up at inopportune times.

As for the action scenes, the majority hit the sweet spot between brutal believability and video game logic where you can kill people with a singular upper cut or have to spend 10 minutes bludgeoning your opponent to death. The film creates several traditional and bizarre set pieces for the Boy to play in, such as a weapons manufacturing warehouse and a candy winter wonderland of death populated by murderous sugary cereal mascots. While never worrying about how goofy the premise is, the film is serious about it’s fighting and choreography. In fact, the final fight scene is mapped out so well and pulled off with such high stakes fun, it’s worthy of “John Wick.”

The film does have some pacing issues here and there, and the plot sometimes gets in the way of the action. That wouldn’t be a problem if the plot was a little bit more straightforward because the twists and turns it makes don’t feel as satisfying. However, if you’re uncertain about what kind of film “Boy Kills World” might be, it’s important to note that Sam Raimi produced it. So even if “Boy Kills World” isn’t on par with a crazy action comedy orgy like “Kung Fu Hustle,” it is the kind of film you could fall in love with and watch over and over again.

Panic Fest Film Review: “Sting”

Starring: Ryan Corr, Alyla Browne and Penelope Mitchell
Directed by: Kiah Roche-Turner
Rated: R
Running Time: 91 minutes
Well Go USA Entertainment

Our Score: 3.5 out of 5 Stars

Very few times can I describe a film with these words: heart-warming, funny and skin crawling. “Sting” is the story of a peculiar preteen girl, Charlotte (Alyla Browne) who makes friends with a spider, at least what we think is a spider. You see, on a snowy, icy night in New York City, a tiny meteorite smashes through a window at an apartment complex. The rock cracks open, revealing the dime sized spider that quickly makes friends with Charlotte. Since we know up front that it’s from space, we know that this isn’t an ordinary spider, but of course no one else knows this. Charlotte doesn’t even seem to mind too much that the spider doubles in size in hours, and suddenly requires more than just apartment lurking bugs to devour.

I’d say the majority of “Sting” hinges on the likability of Charlotte as a character and Browne’s acting abilities. It’s a difficult character to tackle because Charlotte is dealing with the loss of her father and isn’t as emotionally connected as she once was with her mom. It doesn’t help that her stepdad is a little bit aloof when it comes to Charlotte, talking to her but not actually listening to her. So when Browne interacts with her new pet spider, we truly understand why and actually believe it. I actually believed it, especially since I feel like people who own spiders are pets are sociopaths. As for everyone else who encounters the spider, it’s like midnight at the drive-in.

Part of the inherent cheesy fun of “Sting” is watching all the characters come into focus, while figuring out who’s going to be eaten first. There’s a baby, some elderly ladies, an exterminator who hates coming out to the apartment, a yappy dog and plenty of other tenants that could potentially become spider food. It’s the same formula as the a lot of 80s slashers, but instead of a knife wielding maniac, it’s an eight legged monster.

There is a sense that “Sting” is lacking something. It’s lacking a cast of characters we should all care about, but there’s inherently nothing wrong with watching the spider pick them one-by-one. “Sting” is more of a comedy than a horror first, but it’s not consistently fun. What I’m trying to say in so many words is that “Sting” isn’t perfect, nor is it great, but I admire that it seems like everyone knows they’re making a modern creature feature with chuckles and a cast that will put a smile on your face.

Panic Fest Film Review: “Azrael”

Starring: Samara Weaving, Vic Carmen Sonne and Nathan Stewart-Jarrett
Directed by: E.L. Katz
Rated: NR
Running Time: 85 minutes

Our Score: 4 out of 5 stars

Movies being shelved is nothing new. However, the legend and infame of those films remains. Depending on the genre, that movie can spend years being whispered about before it ever sees the light of day or is shown beyond secret Hollywood home screenings. The latest potentially shelved and never to be seen again (I’ll get to this later) film is “Azrael,” a post-apocalyptic film that uses Biblical theology to tell a wordless story splattered in blood and shockingly delivers unexpected supernatural thrills without a single syllable of discernable dialogue.

Samara Weaving plays the titular Azrael, who roams the woods dodging mud covered looking creatures with disfigured twitching torsos and milky zombie eyes, and other humans looking to sacrifice her to those previously described creatures. All the humans we encounter, except for one, have removed their vocal cords, leaving a cross as a scar over their throat. You see, this film takes place after the Christian rapture, the supposedly end-of-times day where all of God’s believers are taken to Heaven before good and evil lay waste to the Earth in battle. So, as the movie goes, you automatically know nothing is off the table in terms of supernatural shenanigans, morality, and what happens to the pregnant villain of the story. That being said, nothing is officially known.

You will learn nothing as the film goes along and at times it’s almost like watching someone choose their own adventure based on knowledge they’re not telling you. Besides onscreen text, the magnificent facial acting of the entire cast (especially Weaving) the privileged few who attended a director screening of the cut (Me!), you will not ever 100% (maybe even 50-90%) know what is actually going on. It’s entirely possible that multiple people with different theories as to what is happening aren’t wrong. Even at the Panic Fest screening, the film’s writer, Simon Barrett, was mum on the more specific plot details and ideas.

“Azrael” deserves a proper autopsy if it is never released, but right now, it’s an unseen circus act I’m guaranteeing is worth the price of admission. It’s difficult to glow about a film that may never see the light of day because, as Barrett also stated at Panic Fest’s “Azrael” screening, the movie is currently in limbo. Just a little after it’s SXSW premiere, the distributing company for “Azrael” seems ready to do what other distributors have done recently, just like with “Batgirl.” Whether it’s because shelving the film will save “save money,” “trim fat,” or whatever potential lie the millionaire powers to be are claiming, it’s frustrating. Even if someone disagreed with me about “Azrael,” they deserve the opportunity to watch it. “Azrael” is more than a silent gimmick, it’s an experience you’ll never forget. Buoyed by Weaving’s face, the film is relentless, even as it blows past questions it’s never going to answer.

Panic Fest 2024 Review

Panic Fest, like any great idea, has gone from being that great weekend of horror in Kansas City to a national audience wanting to learn more because they saw it on social media or on someone’s T-shirt at the airport the Monday after the main events. Last year I noted that Panic Fest was beginning to become a recognizable gem in the Midwest, but this year felt like it’s now a recognizable gem from coast to coast, and amongst the right group of friends overseas. To quote what I said last year, and other years prior, if 2024 was any indication, Panic Fest continues to boldly grow without losing its indie charm.

Thursday could have been a harbinger of things to come. For nearly a month, Panic Fest had hyped up the return of Joe Bob Briggs and Darcy the Mail Girl with a presentation of “Night of the Comet.” On April Fool’s Day, just days before the start, word came down that Joe Bob Briggs was sick. As to not soil night one, Joe Lynch, Director/Panic Fest Ambassador/Honorary Kansas Citian, stepped up to take Joe Bob Briggs role introducing the movie. Joe Bob Briggs was kind enough to send a snarky, yet comedic slapdown of Joe Lynch for the crowd and even gave his iconic drive-in totals over the course of 14 glorious, digital minutes. After the 80s pajama party movie, it was time for the 21st century B-horror, “Sting.” Night one is something I’ve never felt in bigger cities on bigger stages, a feeling of “Panic Fest” and Screenland Armour doing things on their own terms despite the immense pressure for perfection.

On Friday, I started off my day with the Nick Stahl culinary thriller “What You Wish For,” followed by “Hippo,” a film where the title character can only be described as an obnoxious incel version of Napoleon Dynamite. “Livescreamers,” which was attended by the director, who also wrote, produced, and did damn near everything outside of acting in the film, was a blast, made even better by the creative ways in which it was filmed. Even a filmmaking newbie could see how much time and effort went into creating “Livescreamers” world. The finale of Friday was a film I hope you get to see even though you may never, according to the writer. The post-apocalyptic Christian, but not really Christian, muddy demon horror film “Azrael” is easy to describe, but impossible to fully explain.

Per usual, Saturday serves as a big night for special guests. First up was the premiere of “Ghost Game,” a social media challenge mixed with a haunted house that will have you guessing about what’s going on until the final few minutes. Next was the 4K restoration, and 40th anniversary of “A Nightmare on Elm Street,” with horror royalty Heather Langenkamp in attendance. It was clear in the following Q&A how much she still adores the movie and the journey that it started her on. But the Q&A of the weekend, and maybe for all of Panic Fest’s history, was not Langenkamp. Instead, it followed the 25th anniversary screening of “The Blair Witch Project.” Having not seen the film since renting it at Blockbuster in 2000, I watched the film with a fresh pair of eyes and ears, appreciating the do-it-yourself with nothing to lose tactics this revolutionary film implemented. I could probably listen to co-director Eduardo Sanchez and Mike “I kicked that fucker into the creek!” Williams talk about the filmmaking process for “Blair Witch” for hours. The night ended with “Mother Father Sister Brother Frank” about an adorable family who hilariously deal with their shithead uncle Frank through deadly means.

The hangover cure for many on Sunday was “New Life,” a film that feels all too real even as we get farther and farther away from the COVID-19 pandemic. For newcomers, the hefty drama is a reminder that Panic Fest is more than blood and guts. “New Life” was followed up with the spiritual horror about good versus evil, and dealing with the loss of a four-legged companion, “The Activated Man.” It was hard to keep a dry eye during the film, much less during the director Q&A. The evening ended with the Irish folk horror, “All You Need is Death” and the juggalo road trip to the promised land (the Gathering of Juggalos) film “Off Ramp.” I can fully and happily report that Faygos and laughs were had as Sunday came to a close.

Like every year, the weekend feels like a blur. For me, it was the films. There’s nothing like experiencing cinema with like minded strangers. While everyone felt that it wasn’t the ultimate experience, like mine. For others, it was the connections in the lobby over mixed drinks and beers. For some, it was the mutual love of a local podcast and meeting a fresh face, or new fan. So, while my experience feels like the highlight of 2024, for some, it’s the highlight of a lifetime. That’s the beauty of Panic Fest, it’s great no matter which way you enjoy it.

Film Review: “Laced”

Starring: Dana Mackin, Hermione Lynch and Zach Tinker
Directed by: Kyle Butenhoff
Rated: NR
Running Time: 98 minutes
Dark Sky Films

Our Score: 3 out of 5 Stars

Molly (Dana Mackin) and Charlie (Kyle Butenhoff) appear to be having an intimate evening together. They share dinner in a remote cabin, surrounded by a record-breaking blizzard, and appear to have planned the whole thing. However, there’s no time for small talk, deep talk, cozying up by a roaring fire or even finishing the meal. That’s because Molly has poisoned Charlie.

I don’t want to say much more because “Laced” works purely on its performances and reveals. Sure, it doesn’t take us long to realize something is amiss and that Molly has intentionally poisoned Charlie. And sure, the initial exposition comes hot and heavy, or in the case of watching the trailer, almost too spoilery. We know things will continue to be complex and complicated, that’s why Molly has unexpected dinner guests that make “Laced” a rather effective winter thriller.

It’s an indie film so I can forgive the lack of style that could have made it more claustrophobic and made effective use of the blizzard. Seriously, I sometimes forgot a raging snowstorm was outside because of how much time is spent indoors in this singular setting without a peep. The howling wind seems like an afterthought as characters stab each other with icy dialogue. All of that being said, Mackin, Hermoine Lynch and Zach Tinker provide enough fireworks in their performances. Butenhoof, not so much, but I can’t fault an actor who dies about five minutes in.

However, Butenhoff serves as writer and director, showing a Hitchcockian knack for making the most of a simplistic story. In other hands, “Laced” would have just been another predictable murder film, but Butenhoff is creative with making us second guess the narrative, whether it’s from Molly’s perspective or the explanations of her unexpected dinner guests. While I certainly felt the film lacked that winter bite, “Laced” has enough creativity to entertain you for 90 minutes and has the potential to chill you to the bone.

Film Review: “Mother, May I?”

Starring: Holland Roden, Kyle Gallner and Chris Mulkey
Directed by: Laurence Vannicelli
Rated: NR
Running Time: 99 minutes
Dark Sky Films

Our Score: 3.5 out of 5 stars

When death occurs, it leaves a scar. Not only the loss of a loved one, but the words that will never be said. The emotions that will now never be conveyed or felt. The questions that will now go on unanswered. I won’t bother looking up who said it because it’s a universal truth, but the only sure thing in life is death. In “Mother, May I?,” death is really the only sure thing.

Emmett’s (Kyle Gallner) mother, who abandoned him, has recently passed. Understandably, he wants to go to her house, get in, get out and move on with his life. Emmett’s fiance, Anya (Holland Roden), is in tow as emotional support, but that support seems a little flawed. At least from my vantage point. In an effort to help alleviate the pain of the experience of being in her house, Anya recommends they take psilocybin mushrooms. I have yet to try this method, but seeing people on mushrooms without having to deal with trauma tells me…I won’t. While tripping, Emmett and Anya decide to play a little roleplaying game where Anya is Emmett’s mother. It’s weird, oddly sexual and freaks Emmett out a bit. However, the troubles continue when he wakes up the next day and Anya is still pretending to be his mother. Or is she?

“Mother, May I?” is the definition of unsettling. As the film progresses, we begin to wonder if something supernatural is happening. Anya, who professes to not know how to swim, begins to swim whilst continuing to “be” Emmett’s mother. She also begins to exhibit ticks that Emmett knows his mother had, but has never told Anya. The emptiness of the house they’re in, compounded by the callousness of Emmett’s mom in flashbacks, allows the film to creep slowly under your skin, wriggling around when tensions come to a boil. When things explode between the two, it’s like a therapy session in hell.

Since most of “Mother, May I?” is filled with our two leads, so much of the film’s emotional weight is carried by Gallner and Roden who do spot-on jobs when their characters are hurt, vengeful, remorseful and horny. Rarely does the film relent, seemingly putting its foot down on the emotional accelerator. At some points you have to wonder who’s attempting to inflict emotional damage and who’s using brutal honesty to progress their own self-reflected feelings forward.

So what exactly is going on with Anya? Is she possessed or is she creating a cruel new form of psychotherapy? Or better yet, what’s going on with Emmett? Is he truly disturbed and upset or is he a unique byproduct of a broken mother-son relationship that would have Sigmund Freud licking his lips? Since the film leaves every question unanswered, the film in of itself is like death. As the credits roll, we’re left wondering what if and why.

 

Panic Fest Film Review: “Birth/Rebirth”

Starring: Marin Ireland, Judy Reyes and Breeda Wool
Directed by: Laura Moss
Rated: NR
Running Time: 98 minutes
IFC Films

Our Score: 4 out of 5 Stars

You know you’re in for a good movie when a director is able to summarize their film without giving away too much. Before “Birth/Rebirth” began, Director Laura Moss discussed how the film was her own unique take on “Frankenstein” and how the idea has been simmering in her mind since she was a teenager. Even with that kind of spoiler in mind, one where I could expect the reanimation of a dead person, I couldn’t foresee what kind of horrors could be and would be mined in “Birth/Rebirth.”

Celie (Judy Reyes) is a natural as a prenatal nurse at the hospital she works at. She brings her motherly warmth to work to help patients and others, but that warmth will disappear in a flash. Celie’s daughter, Lila (A.J. Lister) abruptly dies, leaving Celie with so much to ponder. On the flip side, we meet a morgue tech by the name of Rose (Marin Ireland) who goes about her work with about as much warmth as the corpses she digs around in. Celie and Rose are strangers, but Lila’s death is going to bring them together in horrific ways.

The mantle of Dr. Frankenstein could be divided up between Celie and Rose, who work together after Rose reanimates Lila. Celie, despite being unable to communicate with the daughter she used to know, tries in earnest to recover what she had by focusing on nearly every aspect of Lila’s life. Rose on the other hand takes a more rudimentary, yet scientific approach to Lia as she makes notes, runs experiments and monitors the overall situation. Sometimes the roles flip as time goes on where one character assumes the role of scientist and the other as parental figure. Because the reanimated Lila remains mostly quiet throughout the duration of the film, it’s difficult to tell what’s actually going on in her head as opposed to the emotional projections by Rose and Celie.

I can’t think of a “Frankenstein” reimaging or story that heavily shifts the narrative to a female centric one. The original story could be viewed as man’s attempt to control what humanity cannot control, life and death. In some ways you could argue the original doctor was also driven by a need to create. The ability to create a human life is not possible for someone born as a man, so Dr. Frankenstein had to create human life in another form. “Birth/Rebirth” seems to explain the passion and need to control life and death as that of a woman/parent. We see how Celie and Rose work with Lila to ensure she survives, the sacrifices both of them make, but is it more about science or more about basic maternal instincts? Rose is the calculating, numbers driven and scientific to all her approaches, but the longer she spends with Celie and Lila, the more something else is taking shape beneath her expressionless face. On the flip side, Celie also realizes the lengths she’ll go to obtain what she used to have, but must also reckon with what it takes to reach that goal.

The film’s ending, which will certainly be annoying to some, leaves more questions than answers. The audience is supposed to reflect on the idea of motherhood and what parenthood in general does to us. The morals of the film are constantly being debated by the characters and by their inevitable actions. Just like the Mary Shelley classic, “Birth/Rebirth” asks us to examine creation, life and death, through our own selfishness, our own sacrifices and ultimately what we are willing to do to secure and fulfill what we see as our obligations to our creations. “Birth/Rebirth” is a monster that you’ll be thinking about long after the credits and lights go up.

 

Panic Fest Film Review: “Black Mold”

Starring: Agnes Albright, Andrew Bailes and Jeremy Holm
Directed by: John Pata
Rated: NR
Running Time: 92 minutes

Our Score: 3.5 out of 5 stars

I’m asked anytime by people who find out that I do urban exploring (the art of exploring abandoned buildings, tunnels and everything in between) about whether or not I get scared. Of course. That’d be like asking a trapeze artist if they’re ever worried about plummeting. The thought will always be there. When it comes to my side hobby, I’ve almost been attacked by humans and animals, nearly broken bones, and, worst of all, almost been caught by authorities. So when I recommend “Black Mold,” a film about two urban exploring photographers taking on a deadly task, it’s not because it taps into that fear.

Brooke (Anges Albright) is going through the motions as her and her budding photographer, Tanner (Andrew Bailes) are adding more photos to their portfolio. The abandoned countryside homes they photograph aren’t enough for Brooke today though. She’s got her eyes on the duo’s white whale, a rundown government facility that is the center of several area rumors. Ignoring the fencing, warning signs, and obvious threats, the two are dropped off by their driver, whom they tell to come back in three hours. The two then  set foot inside a building they may never leave.

“Black Mold” never does what you’d expect, which is a treat because it uses a lot of horror tropes. While the story is familiar, the path isn’t. Brooke, we learn, has never come to grips with a traumatic part of her childhood, the death of her father and the ensuing blame being directed at her. While the movie solely focuses on her, Tanner is also dealing with his own personal demons even though they’re never discussed or shown. We just see him react to what he thinks he’s seeing or actually seeing, just like Brooke begins to wonder if a homeless person they encounter in the building is her father.

That is one of the more befuddling parts of this film, what’s real and what isn’t. It’s intentional, but also confusing. For about half of the film, we’re left wondering what experiences are real and which ones aren’t. Eventually day turns to night and we even have to question if time is changing along with perception. I’m not sure why Tanner is in the film, but over time, I wondered if the film could have been better without Tanner because we have no emotional attachment to him. That, and I imagine the isolation would be more impactful for Brooke and the audience.

“Black Mold” is kind of a play on the idea that mold in a dilapidated building could impact your mind. I also believe it’s how the trauma that Brooke experienced not only effects her creatively and in her hobby, but also emotionally because it’s obvious she’s never dealt with her father’s death in any meaningful way or talked with anyone about it. Psychologically and visually speaking, “Black Mold” is a fascinating watch, but the horror itself isn’t as scary as it could be, and the ending feels like a little bit of a letdown.  Overall, the film is an enjoyable journey into the psyche of regret, loss and broken relationships.

 

Panic Fest Film Review: “Satan Wants You”

Directed by: Steve J. Adams and Sean Horlor
Rated: NR
Running Time: 88 minutes

Our Score: 4 out of 5 stars

Children are the greatest non-violent weapon humans have ever had. In 2020-21, my social media was being spammed with #savethechildren. Sounds noble. Besides, who hates children and wishes them ill will? Unfortunately, the #savethechildren people on social media were ignorant to the reasoning behind the hashtag. All these #savethechildren people were suckers for Q’Anon, a conspiracy theory about how the world’s elites are eating, raping, beating, sodomizing, and killing children. Not only children, but newborn infants. While it sounds too crazy to believe, “Satan Wants You,” is a reminder that we’re constantly doomed to repeat an inherent part of our history, believe stupid crap.

If you haven’t heard about the Satanic Panic of the 80s and early 90s, it’s kind of like Pizzagate for the pre-Internet age. They even had their own hashtag before hashtags, having people say “Believe the Children.” The insanity kicked off in 1980 with the book, “Michelle Remembers,” where Canadian Michelle Smith, with the help of her then-psychiatrist at the time, remembered buried memories. Those memories were of being kidnapped, caged, beaten, sexually assaulted, raped repeatedly and forced to eat babies along with other Satanists in a ritual meant to summon the Lord of Darkness himself. Makes for an interesting fiction novel, but “Michelle Remembers” was touted as a real life encapsulation of a secret cabal right under society’s nose.

“Satan Wants You” doesn’t dig around in every nook and cranny, but it’s an incredibly entertaining and serviceable documentary on the Satanic Panic, for those who know nothing about and those like me who could stand to learn a little bit more, including the interesting tidbit later in the documentary about how insurance companies may have saved the day. The documentary’s focus is on how such a perverse lie was able to spread around the U.S. like a new strain of COVID-19, while examining the possibilities of why Michelle would remember…a lie.

Michelle’s psychiatrist, Lawrence Pazder, eventually became her lover and husband. It doesn’t take an HR consultant for most people to recognize a doctor and patient hooking up is the biggest ethical red flag you could potentially spot. The documentary seems to imply more wrong with Pazder than it does Michelle, as it talks with his family members about how he abandoned them for one of his patients. It details how Pazder had a fascination with the perceived weirdness of other cultures and traditions, and how that kind of got channeled through his sessions with Michelle. In my personal belief, I think he was a sexual deviant and Michelle’s recollections were simply part of his fetish.

But what about Michelle? It’s easy to pin the blame on the person spinning these lies, but the documentary treats everyone fairly, including Michelle. If anything, she is a victim to Pazder’s delusions of grandeur, because he envisioned himself becoming famous with her recounting of the alleged demonic occurrences. She also was seeking psychiatric help because she had endured a miscarriage. So in a vulnerable position, she was most likely persuaded by Pazder. A lot of this is my own musings based on the film because “Satan Wants You” is so balanced and thoughtful in its approach. The film doesn’t look to demonize or point the finger of blame at anyone particularly. Unfortunately we can only blame ourselves, especially since history shows that anytime there’s a crisis of faith or a newfound religion, one side attempts to demonize and disparage that group with lascivious lies involving children. For a harmful conspiracy theory to flourish, it takes a village of idiots.

For those who are interested in the Satanic Panic, “Satan Wants You” is a must-watch, even for those who may not know anything about it. At times it feels like it doesn’t say enough while at the same time giving us enough information to completely understand and digest the whole damn mess. You may find yourself wondering aloud during the film, “How the hell do people believe this?” Well, just wait until 2060 when we release a film about all the morons who thought a billionaire narcissist was going to save all the babies from demonic Jews in positions of power eating babies or how Lil Nas X is the Anti-Christ or how social media campaigns never helped children.