How to Keep False Expectations from Ruining the Relationship

Every couple has to face the moment when the differences between expectations and real relationships become so great that it’s nearly impossible to ignore them further. Here’s what you should know about expectations – if you don’t voice and/or reconsider them in time, they’ll shatter like glass, injuring everyone – both you and the one behind that glass.

In a relationship, expectations appear by themselves. This is the way we’re made – the human brain can’t but predict and build chains of inferences based on a person’s experience. And it’s incredibly difficult to get rid of expectations completely. After all, you can’t plan, move towards goals, and, most importantly, trust your significant other without them.

Difficulties come when we stop seeing our partners as individuals behind expectations. We build a picture in our heads, using phrases like ‘they should.’ And the longer we do that, the closer the disappointment. Do you really think your partner will do their best to meet your expectations, which may not even be entirely fair? It’s their life, not yours.

This doesn’t mean there’s no other option, and any relationship we’ll try to build in the future will fall apart. ‘Happily ever after’ is possible, and fortunately, it happens often. But there are some aspects of expectations that, when ignored, will destroy the feeling of closeness and harmony.

Expectations aren’t reality

It’s necessary to keep in mind – your expectations and reality are parallel worlds. They intersect somewhere, but rarely. You may have heard that Eastern European girls are gorgeous, loyal housewives, but you shouldn’t expect all of that when dealing with them.

Expectations need to be discussed

Make sure your partner knows about them, as well as understands and agrees to follow them. Thus, you’ll develop a general picture of your partner for some time but not for long. You must review this general picture occasionally.

Expectations must be checked and reconsidered from time to time

This concerns you first. Maybe you have long stopped expecting your partner to meet the criteria you came up with several years ago. You’ve changed, and, most importantly, your partner and the environment have also changed, while you’re trying to live the old life, forcing others to do the same.

Expectations are responsibilities

We’re responsible for our expectations because they belong to us. We’re responsible for the perfect image that we adore so much. Ultimately, responsibility means action. Therefore, we ourselves must take steps and actions to fulfill our expectations. The partner can help – if asked, but they may refuse.

Expectations are a mirror

If you desperately want something from your significant other or expect them to have certain qualities – it’s about you. You either lack this quality or don’t recognize it in yourself. After all, it was you who put the mirror glass between you and the other person. And now, you look into it and see your shortcomings. You don’t develop this quality in yourself, hesitate to show it, but expect your partner to have it. And then, ironically, they don’t want to match the picture, helping you develop this quality.

Blu-ray Review “Great Expectations (2012)”

Actors: Ralph Fiennes, Helena Bonham Carter, Robbie Coltrane
Directors: Mike Newell
Rated: PG-13 (Parental Guidance Suggested)
Studio: 20th Century Fox
DVD Release Date: April 15, 2014
Run Time: 128 minutes

Film: 3.5 out of 5 stars
Extras: 1.5 out of 5 stars

I feel like it is every year or two we get a new adaption of the Charles Dickens’ classic novel, “Great Expectations”. This latest one is from the director of “Four Weddings And A Funeral”, Mike Newell and packs a lot cast including Ralph Fiennes and Helena Bonham Carter in roles they were born to play. They seem almost effortless for them yet so well executed. I also quite enjoyed the 2011 BBC miniseries starring Gillian Anderson and Ray Winstone. This film adaption managed to still do the job and in much less time. I have no idea what took this film over a year to get released finally but glad it did. Dickens’ fans should give it a look for sure.

Official Premise: Young orphan Pip finds his life changed forever soon after encountering and lending assistance to escaped convict Magwitch (Fiennes) on the marshlands near his home. Later, after being summoned to attend the stately home of Miss Havisham (Carter) and finding himself mesmerised by the old lady’s beautiful but cold-hearted niece, Estella (Helena Barlow/Holliday Grainger), Pip learns that he has been granted an inheritance by a mysterious benefactor. After moving to London to be educated as a gentleman under the guardianship of lawyer Mr. Jaggers (Coltrane), a now adult Pip (Irvine), believing he now has the necessary social standing, sets about convincing Estella that he is worthy of her love.

20th Century Fox delivers us this film with a combo pack including a Blu-ray and Ultraviolet Digital Copy. The costumes in this film are outstanding and the sets are equally amazing. Everything really pops off the screen and is quite colorful making this look very stunning within its 1080p transfer. The DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 track also works very well with the film’s haunting score. In terms of special features though, there is not much content here. There is an extra taken from the film’s premiere and a trailer included. Would have loved to see a commentary track here from the talent or at least the director.

 

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