Directed by: David Bruckner, Scott Derrickson, Gigi Saul Guerrero, Natasha Kermani and Mike Nelson
Rated: NR
Running Time: 110 minutes
Shudder

Our Score: 4 out of 5 Stars

Found footage has really hit its stride lately and that’s carrying over into one of the most unlikely ongoing franchises in the horror landscape, “V/H/S.” When the original came out in 2012, it didn’t necessarily light the world on fire, but since 2021, the “V/H/S” franchise has become a yearly tradition. 2021 saw the franchise become more chaotic as these movies became more memorable for breaking the mold and rules of found footage films. The latest addition, “V/H/S 85,” not only serves as an homage to the 80s, but finds the franchise tinkering with the clichés and found footage style once again with gloriously gory results.

The entire film plays like a dozen people recorded different things over the same VHS tape. The wraparound story, individual stories, are sometime interrupted by snippets of commercials that are so borderline realistic, I have to wonder if they’re from dead brands. “V/H/S 85” opens with our wrap around story, “Total Copy,” an “In Search Of…” and “Unsolved Mysteries” style TV show about a group of scientists studying a bizarre piece of intelligent life they name “Rufus.” The blobby shape-shifting creature is isolated in a room with American TV shows running 24/7. The idea, according to the scientists, is that the creature will eventually learn how to communicate with scientists, even though half the time the TV shows it appears to be watching are generic infomercials. Certainly, the wraparound story serves as a commentary on TV consumption, but we immediately know these scientists won’t have long to live if their idea of communicating with a suspicious lifeform is butt enhancing workout infomercials.

Busting out of the wraparound is “No Wake,” a tale of seven friends heading off to a lake for camping, swimming, drugs and sex. I immediately thought, “Oh, I’m about to watch an homage to an 80s slasher,” but once the blood squirts and the guts begin spilling, I really didn’t know what was happening or what was going to happen next, at all. The other interesting aspect to this short is that it kind of ends abruptly. Just as it’s about to hit its climax, it cuts to the next short. The conclusion to “No Wake” comes later in “V/H/S 85.” Without spoiling the set-up, you’ll be smiling ear-to-ear by the time “No Wake” wraps up its delightfully bonkers set-up.

After the camping trip to hell, we go south of the border to Mexico for “God of Death,” a bit of art mimicking life. The backdrop is the real-life 1985 Mexico City Earthquake, but the story opens before the quake in a news studio getting ready for one of its early morning reports. The earthquake hits and the staff are buried under rubble. Rescue workers show up to find that only a cameraman is left alive (of course). Their escape through the maze of rubble takes them down a path of blood, gore and coming face-to-face with the God of Death. As someone who’s never heard of this destructive event, I can’t help but think this short may be about how the God of Death, metaphorical or real in terms of government inaction, is just lying in wait for the next big one to kill thousands and thousands.

The next segment, “TKNOGD,” is difficult to describe because too much information kind of spoils the whole thing, but it feels very much like a punk rock avant garde art exhibit experimenting with technology. A performance artist is making a commentary on technology and God, something that oddly feels super relevant right now, before the predictable chaos and carnage of horror happens. It’s a short that still works like the previous ones because of its commentary, violent practical effects, and dark humor. It’s also the shortest of the entries, which is perfect for the story that it’s attempting to tell. It’s also a great lead-up to maybe one of the best shorts in “V/H/S” history.

“Dreamkill” is like an indie David Lynch teaming up with Wes Craven for a grisly and vicious tale. “Dreamkill” is about a police detective who keeps receiving VHS tapes showing a first-person view of violent murders, some of the more gruesome we’ve seen in the “V/H/S” series. The catch though, is that the murders happen days after the police detective receives them. He arrives on scene, already knowing how the killer got in, how he moved about and how he mutilated the victims, having watched the gonzo first-person footage. It’s one of those shorts that you could easily see becoming a full-length film, especially as we find out the person behind the footage and who the killer is. Even though I had a sneaking suspicion of who the killer was, I don’t think it took away from “Dreamkill” because of how everything unfolds. At times it’s very unsettling, dropping a bit of realism into the absurdity of it all. Like the killer’s knife, it’s likely to get under your skin.

Just like the previous installment, “V/H/S 99,” the found footage rules are broken left and right, but because of the unique choices that footage is incorporated into the overall product, it makes us forget some of the more nagging questions we might otherwise have. It’s really difficult to pinpoint a weakness in this anthology film. There’s always that one short that kind of sticks out like the ugly stepchild, but all the shorts in this work. I’m not sure if it’s because they all take place in 1985 or if one of the directors overlooked every product in an attempt to create a cohesive brutal vibe. If you’re a first timer to the anthology, or maybe stopped sometime after “V/H/S: Viral,” now is definitely the time to pick the franchise back-up. “V/H/S 85” is the best of the franchise; it’s a retro blast utilizing blood and guts to ingenious levels. It also stands to be one of the grittiest and best horror films of this year.

Starring: AnnaLynne McCord, Dean Cain and Natasha Henstridge
Directed by: Tommy Stovall
Rated: NR
Running Time: 93 minutes
Stonecutter Media

Our Score: 2.5 out of 5 Stars

If you Google “Condition of Return,” you’ll get the following synopsis: “A churchgoing woman makes a heinous deal with the Devil in order to save her soul.” Honestly, that’s all I needed to watch this film in the hopes of seeing a Satanic horror film. What I got was an unintentional comedy.

The movie opens with Eve (AnnaLynne McCord) walking into a Catholic church during mass and opening fire with an assault rifle, all the while tears well in her eyes as she watches the various attendees scatter in terror. We cut to much later, where Eve is shackled and Dr. Donald Thomas (Dean Cain) has been flown in to interview Eve. His goal, according to the police chief, is to declare that she is sane. That’s so that the state can cross that red tape checkmark off its list and pump Eve full of various drugs until she dies. With a recorder and notepad in hand, Dr. Thomas sits down for the silliest “be careful or you’re going to hell” movie of the 21st century.

Is that previous comment praise for “Condition of Return?” No. But that’s only because I feel like this movie was made in an earnest effort. I say that because throughout I kept checking if maybe I went in with the wrong expectations. After the first few chuckles, I checked the press email I got about the film. Sure enough, it’s listed as a “Faustian drama.” About halfway through, I checked IMDb which listed it as a “mystery.” By the end I had fully succumbed to my MST3K sensibilities and began laughing at the absurdity of it all.

If I had to describe “Condition of Return,” it’s a film with SyFy Creature Feature production values and a religious script that would make Kevin Sorbo drool at the sheer flawed morality of it. Eve’s tale to Dr. Thomas begins with her meeting a random guy at the bar, only to get knocked up, miscarry and marry the loser. Right off the bat, none of it feels real or genuine. Eve also drops the fact that she’s Catholic. A lot. So as her backstory progresses, she tells Dr. Thomas an increasingly bizarre story of her failing marriage which, no joke, leads to an FBI bust, time in prison, and finally searching “how to summon the devil” online where she lands on a website called Blood Knife. I felt like every unrealistic and stupid progression in Eve’s backstory was like a bad joke being delivered in just the right way to elicit an uncomfortable laugh.

It’s weird when you give a film a middling review when you know that some people will watch this and turn it off in the first 15 minutes, whether it’s the bad special effects, the stagnant dialogue or the go nowhere plot. Others though, like me, will relish in the sheer stupidity of it and will find themselves gleefully waiting to see what happens next, in pure morbid fashion. The old cliché phrase of “It’s so bad, it’s good,” applies to all 93 minutes of “Condition of Return.”

Starring: Aly Trasher, Alisha Soper and William Gabriel Grier
Directed by: Travis Greene
Rated: R
Running Time: 82 minutes
Dark Sky Films

Our Score: 2.5 out of 5 stars

How do you begin to describe a movie that basically gives itself away in the title? Here’s the gist: A desert AirBnB will be the site of a get together between young Millennial/Zoomer couples Carrie (Aly Trasher) and Ricky (Eddy Acosta), and Sam (Alisha Soper) and Dwayne (William Gabriel Grier). However, since the couples arrive at different times, they’re greeted by the supposed original AirBnB guests, Boomer/Gen-X couple Richard (Tim Simek) and Liz (Rosanne Limeres). We aren’t sure who is murdered or why the murders are happening, but the film will slowly unravel that aspect after the opening moments when we witness the ax murder of AirBnB host, Jessie (Jenny Tran). We also know eight people die, thanks to the title and the framing narrative of two small town cops, who also used to be lovers, investigating the aftermath. If you’re keeping count at home, that’s nine characters. So at least the film doesn’t give away the one person who lives.

While the promotional material is very clear on who the killers are, the why and who lives is what keeps the movie flowing. The nonlinear storytelling is the greatest aspect of this film, especially since we learn more and more about each character in spellbinding fashion. Unfortunately the film never seems to utilize the horror of its AirBnB aspect. A film like “Barbarian” had me so distrusting of the characters and property in the first 30 minutes while “8 Found Dead” seems to just go, “Oops, double booked,” and seemingly reveals the killers in the first 20 minutes. Despite the flaw of not utilizing its AirBnB premise, my biggest issue with the film as a whole is, was it all worth it?

Like I said, we wonder about why the murders are happening? That’s the biggest question of the film for me, and I’m left wondering if there isn’t a subversive commentary on love, relationships and generational views. Richard and Liz are very blunt, sometimes offensive and possibly swingers. Richard and Liz clearly have relationship issues that were dragged into their professional lives as police officers while Carrie and Ricky and Sam and Dwayne have massive communication issues that feel complicated by technology. While there may be a commentary on relationships, you could also chalk up Richard and Liz to being more comfortable with each other and themselves after years together, as well as a shared demented sense of life and love.

While I wasn’t bored, I could see how people would be bored because so much is given away up front. I don’t want to spoil the film in this review because I’m ultimately recommending it, despite my on the fence view and rating. I think it has enough elements to make it a captivating watch, but I also foresee people losing interest during verbal chess matches between the older couple and the younger couples. The film also teases that this isn’t the first tale of murder associated with couples, which leads me back to, why? The why bugs me and that’s ultimately bogging down a film I did enjoy. If “8 Found Dead” has something rich to say, I wish it was as upfront as the title about it.

In 2012, Sony Animation struck gold when they debuted their own unique horror-inspired family movie, Hotel Transylvania. The quirky, fun comedy united the talents of Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg, Kevin James, Selena Gomez, Steve Buscemi, Molly Shannon, and Jon Lovitz — to name a few. The success of the movie went on to spawn three sequels, the latest of which released last year exclusively to Amazon Prime as an “Amazon Original.” Although I did enjoy the first 2012 film, I was never able to get my hands on any of the sequels before, and so when 2022’s Hotel Transylvania: Transformania (AKA Hotel Transylvania 4) was sent to me, it was the first time I was seeing something new featuring these characters in the 10 years since I saw the first movie. With that said, I can’t say anything about the second and third entries, but as a sequel to the original, Transformania certainly feels like the stereotypical superfluous fourth entry.

One thing that never bodes well for a sequel to an animated movie is when two of the central cast don’t return. Comedians Adam Sandler and Kevin James both don’t return as Dracula and Frankenstein, respectively. Dracula is really the film’s central character, alongside Andy Samberg’s Johnny and Selena Gomez’ Mavis, so it’s kind of surprising to find the movie’s main star sitting this one out. However, this is the first movie in the series to bypass theaters altogether and go straight to streaming (which is ultimately today’s version of a movie going straight-to-video). Those not willing to spring for a subscription to Amazon Prime just to watch this fourth entry to the franchise can finally access the movie through all digital retailers or grab it on disc. Unfortunately, as the movie started, I got the vibe pretty quickly as to why Sandler and James are absent… this is basically the kind of sequel you’d expect to go straight-to-video.

Then again, to be fair, adults aren’t the intended audience for a movie like this one. While I remember really enjoying the 2012 original — since many animated movies these days really work for all ages — there’s a pretty good chance Hotel Transylvania 4 is deliberately crafted to appeal to a younger audience. With that said, Hotel Transylvania 4 finds Johnny and Mavis in line to inherit the hotel from Dracula, however Drac is having second thoughts and invents a nonsensical rule that says only a monster can inherit the hotel. Johnny turns to unhinged scientist Van Helsing who uses a ray on him to turn him into a monster. Drac tries to undo this, but accidentally turns many of the monsters in the hotel into humans instead. Events that unfold find a few of the gang hitting the road on a quest, forcing Drac to do some much needed – although entirely unexpected – soul searching along the way. This makes for some decent emotional beats that help make the movie just a tad better than it deserves to be, but its cheap crude gags and corny humor keep Hotel Transylvania: Transformania from being more than just a forgettable entry in the saga. Don’t get me wrong; Hotel Transylvania: Transformania does have its moments. It’s silly and still a little entertaining — even if adults are less of the intended shared audience this time. Brian Hull replaces Adam Sandler as Drac, and does a pretty decent job making you forget you’re not actually listening to Sandler’s performance. Still, knowing we have a bit of an imposter voicing such a now-familiar character cheapens the overall feel of the movie. It also doesn’t help that little-known voice actor Brad Abrell is taking over for Kevin James as Frankenstein. Considering that Abrell’s most known role is of the “Worm Guy” in the first three Men in Black movies isn’t all that reassuring. But with Frankenstein having little impact of the plot of this entry, it’s probably a bit more forgivable. The fact Andy Samberg is back as Johnny and Selena Gomez as Mavis certainly helps things, but Johnny seems more annoying as this stage in the story than I previously recall. The animation style is of the more hyper and spastic variety, even to the point where I felt it making me a bit anxious. Sometimes this approach works fine for the story, but overall, I felt it detracted. Hotel Transylvania: Transformania‘s content warrants the PG rating — mostly because a lot is made of the fact that the Invisible Man is naked all the time while invisible. So, when we see him in the flesh finally, we’re given several views of his bare butt, and then several shots where something is shown barely covering his naked crotch. It’s played for laughs, but the gag wears thin pretty immediately. It’s kind of interesting when Dracula becomes mortal, because he finds he can finally relate to Johnny being human and lacking any kind of magical powers. While the transforming element drives the plot in an emotional way for Dracula’s story arc, it’s ultimately used as a gimmick for all the other monster characters. The only other content to be cautious about is some mild language, especially a moment where some wolf children accidentally rearrange some letters in a “Happy Anniversary” sign to “A Very Phine As…” and Drac scrambles to stop them before another “S” is tacked onto the end there. (And for a split second — you’d have to pause it to see this — you can see the letters kind of disjointedly arranged in that order.)

Hotel Transylvania: Transformania is a pretty unnecessary sequel, but it gives fans a fourth chance to see these beloved characters together once more. I don’t know if this is intended to be a final chapter or not, but it could work well as a last entry, but is left open just enough if they decided to continue it. My opinion, though, is this is probably a good opportunity to let the characters of Hotel Transylvania checkout before they’ve officially worn out their welcome. Two out of five stars ⭐️ ⭐️

Vincente DiSanti is the man behind the Friday the 13th fan film, Never Hike Alone, Never Hike in the Snow and the upcoming sequel Never Hike Alone 2 which features Thom Mathews reprising his role of Tommy Jarvis from Part VI: Jason Lives facing off against Jason Voorhees. The film currently has an Indiegogo campaign, here! Media Mikes had a chance to chat with Vincente about the new fan film and what fans can expect.

Hollywood legend Lin Shaye, known best for her roles in the Insidious franchise, There’s Something About Mary and Kingpin. Lin is hitting the NYC stage with her one woman show, Tripping on Life, which has performances run on September 8 through October 8, 2023. Media Mikes had a chance to chat with Lin about her new show and what we can expect.

• MR-9:  DO OR DIE
• Starring:  Abm Sumon, Michael Jai White and Frank Grillo
• Directed by:  Asif Akbar
• Rated:  Not Rated
• Running time:  2 hrs 4 mins
• Premiere Entertainment Group

I have followed the career of filmmaker Asif Akbar since his eye-opening documentary “Top Priority: the Terror Within” in 2010.  In 2018, he made his solo feature directing debut with the sci-fi thriller “Astro,” a film he co-wrote.  As the years rolled on, his films became bigger and better.  And with his latest, “MR-9: Do or Die,” he has delivered the biggest and the best.

In a remote C.I.A. field office, a pair of agents are planning their upcoming mission.  After going through all the particulars, one says to the other, “Let’s not make a scene this time.”  Oops.

Action packed from start to finish, “MR-9: Do or Die” follows the adventures of B.C.I. (Bangladesh Counter Intelligence Agency) agent Masud Rana (Sumon), code name MR-9.  He is put to work to investigate a pair of brothers whose robotics company is up to no good.  As he literally travels the world to foil the brothers plot the body count grows.  And grows.  And grows!

There are two kinds of action films.  One kind is horribly paced, with really nothing going on between the action scenes.  For an example I offer the George Clooney film, “The American,” which was such a snoofefest I had to think for a couple of minutes before I remembered the title.  An example of a great action film is this summer’s latest installment in the “Mission Impossible: series, “Dead Reckoning.”  As in that film, the action here is non-stop, with the characters only taking a few moments to catch their breaths, presumably to allow the audience to do the same.

The performances are strong and Akbar’s pacing spot on.  Like “MI: Dead Reckoning,” the extended running time moves quickly.  Another thing in common – there is more to this adventure to come.

The film is beautifully shot, with each of the global destinations captured in their own individual beauty.  Credit Director of Photography Mark David and Production Designer Chad Quick for the amazing look of the film and composer Ricky Kej for his Bondian-themed score, a perfect accompaniment for the action on-screen.

MR-9: Do or Die” receives four out of a total of five stars.

Matthew Goldhue is the director of the new killer sloth (YES, killer sloth!!) horror film “Slotherhouse”, which follows Senior Emily Young who wants to be elected sorority president. She adopts a cute sloth, thinking it will help her win, but a string of fatalities implicates the sloth. Media Mikes had a chance to chat with Matthew about the film and what we can expect.

Starring: Simon Pegg, Minnie Driver and Christopher Lloyd
Directed by: Adam Sigal
Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 96 minutes
Saban Films

Our Score: 2.5 out of 5 Stars

At 2021’s San Diego Comic Con, I attended a panel for “Nandor Fodor and the Talking Mongoose.” I had an actual interest in the panel after having recently listened to Last Podcast on the Left doing an episode on the subject. The film is based on a peculiar incident from 1930s Britain about, well, a talking mongoose. While that seems straightforward, the movie isn’t. Honestly, it’s odd attending a panel where everyone has a difficult time articulating what the film is about. It’s even odder watching the film.

While listed as a comedy, I didn’t laugh once during the film, but I’m not sure the film was written and filmed as a comedy. Sure, you have Simon Pegg as Dr. Fodor, who begins the movie explaining a belief in the paranormal as someone who sees something that no one else can see. In fact, most scenes with Dr. Fodor seem to be moments written for dry chuckles. That’s because he’s a natural skeptic whose life has been debunking every psychic phenomenon, every bump in the night and every scare tactic he can get his hands on. It’s beginning to wear him thin as he glides through life one hoax and alcoholic beverage at a time. That’s when a fellow skeptic and professor, played by the delightful Christopher Lloyd, tells him about Gef, the talking mongoose. With his assistant Anne, played by Minnie Driver, in tow, Dr. Fodor is off to the Isle of Man to unravel a mystery that will never be solved.

I had the knowledge going into this film that Gef remains a mystery. Is it the work of bored playful humans? Was Gef an actual talking creature lost to time? Was Gef the culmination of poltergeist activity? There are way more theories than answers and honestly, the film mimics that true to life story. That could genuinely frustrate anyone looking for an engaging story, much less a comedic one. Since the film isn’t necessarily going to give you answers or a laugh, why can’t I flat out not recommend it?

The film is peculiar in that I was never bored. While the characters talk in hushes and whispers while silently thinking about the day’s event (usually over a drink or two…or three), it seems like someone is screaming something at the top of their lungs, just below the surface. Annie is the only one of the main cast that’s genuinely open minded to the possibility of Gef’s existence, at least, outside of the peculiar townsfolk and family side characters that have allegedly heard Gef. It’s almost like Annie, after years of watching Dr. Fodor unmasking mysteries, is beginning to tire of the dog and pony show. Or maybe she’s warming up to the idea of Gef, and life, being a giant question mark, while Dr. Fodor can’t possibly fathom a question without an answer.

So maybe the film is more than a look at this absurd true-life story, but instead an encapsulation of how we shouldn’t let small things bog us down in life. Especially since Dr. Fodor, who has obvious chemistry with Anne, never seems to act on those sparks. Instead he seems miserably content with being single and skeptical of everyone and everything, as long as he has a stiff drink in his hand. But in a way, that’s why I can’t recommend it. Maybe I’m giving too much credit to a poorly written and directed film that wanders aimlessly for 90ish minutes. Maybe that screaming I sensed underneath the surface was the cast demanding any form of direction. Just like Gef, this film is a tonal mystery.

Alex Winter aka Bill S. Preston, Esq. may be known best for his films in the Bill and Ted franchise but he is also an amazing documentarian. He has written and directed films like “Downloaded” and “Zappa”. Media Mikes had a chance to chat with Alex about his new film and what we can expect.

Founded by Ollie Rosenblatt in 2011, Senbla is a London-based concert promoting and production company that operates both nationally and internationally. Ollie has worked on projects like the ‘films in concert’ shows, like Harry Potter and Star Wars film with live orchestra franchises as well as Beauty and The Beast, La La Land, Love Actually, A Muppet Christmas Carol, The Godfather. MediaMikes had a chance to chat with Ollie about the film in concert of Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse Live and it’s upcoming world tour!

(L-R): Anna Diaz as Heather Hernandez, Olivia Holt as Teen Pam, Liana Liberato as Tiffany Clark, Stephi Chin-Salvo as Marisa Song, Kiernan Shipka as Jamie Hughes in Totally Killer | Credit: Prime Video

Thirty-five years after the shocking murder of three teens, the infamous “Sweet Sixteen Killer“ returns on Halloween night to claim a fourth victim. Seventeen-year-old Jamie (Kiernan Shipka) ignores her overprotective mom’s (Julie Bowen) warning and comes face-to-face with the masked maniac and, on the run for her life, accidentally time travels back to 1987, the year of the original killings. Forced to navigate the unfamiliar and outrageous culture of the 1980s, Jamie teams up with her teen mom (Olivia Holt) to take down the killer once and for all, before she’s stuck in the past forever.

Julie Bowen as Pam Hughes in Totally Killer | Credit: Prime Video

Directed by Nahnatchka Khan

Written by David Matalon, Sasha Perl-Raver, Jen D’Angelo

Produced by Jason Blum, Adam Hendricks, p.g.a., Greg Gilreath, p.g.a.

Starring Kiernan Shipka, Olivia Holt, Charlie Gillespie, Lochlyn Munro, Troy Leigh-Anne Johnson, Liana Liberato, Kelcey Mawema, Stephi Chin-Salvo, Anna Diaz, Ella Choi, Jeremy Monn-Djasgnar, Nathaniel Appiah and Jonathan Potts with Randall Park and Julie Bowen

Jonathan Potts as Chris Dubasage in Totally Killer | Credit: Prime Video

Totally Killer will premiere globally on October 6, exclusively on Prime Video

It’s hard to believe that The Fast and the Furious franchise kicked-off 22 years ago with a simple little movie about the Los Angeles street-racing scene. It made stars out of Vin Diesel and the late Paul Walker.  From there the street racing moved to Miami and then Tokyo. However, something shifted after that. We got a mediocre fourth film that reunited the original cast, but Fast Five took things in a whole new and exciting direction. Fast & Furious was no longer about racing. Justin Lin brought the series into a big budget action spectacle. Things continued to shine with the sixth and seventh films, which was also where we said goodbye to Paul Walker. Unfortunately, the next two installments and the Hobbs & Shaw spin-off did very little to keep the series feeling fresh. Here we are now with Fast X, the tenth film and the one that kicks off the three-film finale. While the latest installment is basically 141 minutes of pure dumbness, it takes a few steps into course-correcting the wayward series.

The first thing is tying the events of the series best, Fast Five to this one. However, the big difference between the latest film and all of the ones that came prior, is that for the first time, we get a fun villain. Jason Momoa plays Dante, the son of Hernan Reyes (Joaquim de Almeida). When Dominic killed the elder Reyes at the end of the fifth film, he had no idea that his somewhat psychopathic son would eventually come for revenge. Few years have passed since the events of the last film. Dominic Toretto is living in his family home with Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) and their son Brian (Leo Abelo Perry). Things are going along nicely. Even Abuelita (Rita Moreno) swings by to visit with her family. Things don’t stay nice for long. When Toretto’s team go to Rome for a mission, they soon discover it was a setup. Dante was there waiting, and Dom’s family was the bait he needed. It turns out that Dante went after Dom’s other nemesis, Cipher (Charlize Theron) to grab the God’s Eye, which is a piece of tech that can track anyone in the world, including Dom’s son. Since family is the most important thing to him, you know what that means.

Much like the last few films, there is a ton of globetrotting going on and way too many characters. Jason Statham’s Shaw and his mother Queenie (Helen Mirren) are only in the film for a matter of minutes. However, it is made clear that they will have larger roles in the upcoming films. Like usual, Roman (Tyrese Gibson) is given the funniest lines. John Cena’s Jakob is much more entertaining as the good uncle here than he was as the villain in the last film. While Brie Larson can handle the action for sure, I would like to see her character given a little more of a punch up. Fast X is heavy on the action, as one would expect. Some of the CGI explosions are distractingly bad, including the big one in Rome and the final act drive down an exploding dam. I still can’t help but laugh at how Dom never has a single scratch. No human could take the kind of physical punishment he takes.  Louis Leterrier (The Transporter) took over directing duties when Lin suddenly left production. He is a proven capable action director and definitely a good fit for the franchise. Still, it is Momoa who truly saves the day here. He adds such an abundance of life and steals every scene he is in.

The producers of the series finally figured out that for such a ridiculous series of films, you need an equally ridiculous heavy to deliver a true joygasm. Thankfully, Dante is not a one and done character. For the first time in years, I actually want to see what happens next. As expected, the 4K release of Fast X looks absolutely splendid. This is a big expensive franchise that takes us all around the world and gives us some great locations. Thanks to Dolby Vision and HDR, the vast number of colors and textures will make your eyes pop. A perfect example is when Dom shows up at a race in Brazil, where he meets Dante for the first time. All the pretty cars, lights and people take full advantage of what Dolby Vision has to offer. Of course, for audio, the Dolby Atmos track is no slouch either. If there is one thing this franchise takes seriously, is its’ sound design (probably one of the only things it takes seriously). A lot of guns, engines and explosions. Plus, of course the always consistent soundtrack. Vin Diesel’s voice alone demands Atmos. While this series has its’ ups and downs, there is no denying the presentation rocks, even if the film doesn’t. Three out of five stars ⭐️ ⭐️⭐️

• STRAYS
• Starring the voices of:  Will Ferrell, Jamie Foxx and Isla Fisher
• Directed by:  Josh Greenbaum
• Rated:  R
• Running time:  1 hr 33 mins
• Universal

Meet Reggie (Ferrell), a terrier that worships his owner, Doug (Will Forte).  Because dogs love unconditionally, Reggie doesn’t realize that Doug hates him, blaming Reggie for the breakup of his latest relationship.  Which means that, when Doug repeatedly drives Reggie out into the country and tosses a tennis ball, Reggie thinks he’s playing a game.  He’s not.  Doug is, in a term all dogs hate to hear, “a bad boy.”  After one such game of fetch, Reggie finds himself lost.  But his life changes when he makes some new friends.

Crude, crass and incredibly funny, “Strays” follows the adventures of a quartet of dogs who learn that being a part of a pack isn’t always a bad thing.  Bug (Foxx) is the streetwise boxer, proud of being a stray, hiding a secret.  Reggie and Bug are joined by Maggie (Fisher) and Hunter (Randall Park), two dogs that have owners but feel neglected.  Maggie because her owner has gotten a new puppy and Hunter, who once trained to be a police dog, who now wears a cone around his neck.  Together they forge their way across rainy city streets and vast stretches of woods to get Reggie back to the undeserving Doug.  It’s like “Homeward Bound” if Chance and Sassy dropped F-bombs.  A lot.  “The Wolf of Wall Street” currently holds the record for most uses of the “F” word in one film – 715.  “Strays” may actually break that record.

The voice performers have fun with their roles, and their banter is often quite funny.  A word of warning though.  Despite the posters featuring cute dogs, “Strays” is not for children.  I was amazed at how many children were at the screening I attended.  I was even more amazed that not one parent took a child out. So, if you’re looking for an outrageous time at the movies, give “Strays” a watch.  But leave the kiddies home.

“Strays” receives a total of three stars out of five.   

Starring: Gayle Rankin, Hari Nef, Rad Pereira and Annabelle Dexter-Jones
Directed by: Stewart Thorndike
Rated: NR
Running Time: 83 minutes
Shudder

Our Score: 2 out of 5 Stars

I’m generally wary of movies that get compared to great films. Enter “Bad Things,” which bills itself as a female-version of “The Shining.” The early reviews reference how similar in vein it is to Kubrick’s 1980 film. So, I guess I’ll be the proverbial turd in the punch bowl by saying that, yes, it is similar to “The Shining” in a lot of ways, mainly visuals and hotel specters, but that’s about it since it’s far from being a horror classic, much less a horror film I can even recommend.

Ruthie (Gayle Rankin) has inherited her grandmother’s closed and aging hotel, somewhere in New England (most likely). Ruthie is just looking to sell the mid-century modern hotel because of bad childhood memories involving her mother, but Ruthie’s girlfriend Cal (Hari Nef) doesn’t quite see it like that. Cal sees an exciting business opportunity and organizes a girl’s week, inviting two pals, Maddie (Rad Pereira) and Fran (Annabelle Dexter-Jones). So, for the next 80ish minutes, we’ll be treated to gossip about a potential love rectangle between the four ladies, rumors of the hotel being haunted, and visuals that may or may not be real.

The film’s brief runtime and the hope that there’s a decent payoff kept me engaged throughout most of “Bad Things,” even if I found myself wondering what the purpose of any of it was. Cal seems so focused on reopening the hotel, but never really articulates why, which becomes annoying as Ruthie’s mental health declines as she’s constantly reminded about her mother’s parental shortcomings. If Cal was an actual caring partner to Ruthie, you’d think she’d drop the whole idea, much less convince her to have a gal pal weekend in it. As for Maddie and Fran, it seems like there’s skeletons in their closet when it comes to their prior relationships to Ruthie and Cal. It’s almost as if Cal has intentionally planned a weekend to sabotage her own relationship or is that willfully ignorant of other people’s emotions.

References to “The Shining” are sprinkled throughout, but never really feel like an homage or slice of true terror, coming off more like a cringy wink at the camera. The worst moment is when one of the characters sees ghosts eating breakfast in the hotel’s dining area, much like Wendy Torrance encountering a ghoulish party in the final act of “The Shining.” It doesn’t help that, unlike “The Shining,” the girls can leave at any time and are literally a block away from a strip mall. The isolationism that’s perfectly encompassed in Kubrick’s film is nowhere in sight of “Bad Things.”

Despite my frustrations, I was never bored, which is fascinating in of itself. Despite never being scared, the cinematography really makes the hotel a fascinating character. While you’re most likely to have your suspicions that the ghosts aren’t real, the hotel is filmed in such a way that you never feel like the characters are safe from something paranormal. Even in the bitter, snowy cold, the hotel doesn’t seem welcoming or the last place you’d want to be stuck in. Keeping things moving is the cast, which is constantly gnawing on the stale, peeling scenery of the hotel. Rankin steals the show by the end of the film, but Nef, Pereira and Dexter-Jones each have individual scenes they can add to their highlight reel because of how convincing they are in those moments.

I have to wonder how much better “Bad Things” would have been if the film’s promotional material wasn’t attempting to tell me how Kubrickian it was. There’s a lot going for it, including the cinematography, the acting and several ideas that are placed throughout. Even the ideas that I came to enjoy ultimately failed because they were never fully realized. I can’t help, but wonder how much better the film would have been if it leaned more into psychological horror or even implemented more slasher tropes. There’s definitely a way better film in this tangled mess, but “Bad Things” can’t overcome being a bad thing.