• ATLAS
• Starring: Jennifer Lopez, Simu Liu
• Directed by: Brad Peyton
• Rating: PG-13
• Running Time: 1 hr 58 mins
• Netflix

It used to be a parade of various alien invaders from which humanity was always trying to avoid annihilation. While that concept still seems to be a popular one, it has had an increasing amount of competition from the world of artificial intelligence, whose roots go back to “Terminator”. The newest addition into this foray of the potential eradication of the human species is the Jennifer Lopez vehicle, “Atlas.” With a decent storyline, credible special effects, and a couple of talented supporting cast members, “Atlas” comes close to being a watchable science fiction film. However, it is ruined in large part by Lopez’s over-the-top, melodramatic acting that ranges from being annoying to being laughable.

A brief set-up lets us know that in the future, an AI being named Harlan (played too stoically Simu Liu, “Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings”) has decided that humanity needs to be cleansed and its survivors can then live in a paradise alongside other AI beings. (Sounds a little bit like Thanos.) After a failed AI rebellion leaves three million people dead, Harlan flees Earth aboard a fancy rocket ship.

Fast forward 28 years later when Atlas Shepherd (Jennifer Lopez), whose mother was a pioneering leader in AI technology until she was murdered by Harlan, is assigned to question an AI associate of Harlan’s. She learns Harlan’s off world location and begs to go on the combat mission to capture him. While the commanding officer, Gen. Jake Boothe (Mark Strong, “Sherlock Holmes”), is willing, the mission commander, Col. Elias Banks (Sterling K. Brown, “Black Panther”) is adamant against the idea. That is until he inexplicably changes his mind.

Atlas, who has no combat training and has a mistrust of all things AI, soon finds herself in the Andromeda Galaxy where a trap has been laid for the combat operation. She soon finds herself all alone having to rely on the very AI that she is so mistrustful of. All the while, Harlan, who has known Atlas since she was a little girl, is determined to capture her for intel that she has in her head so he can return to Earth.

Directed by Brad Peyton (“San Andreas,” “Rampage”), “Atlas” probes the potential dangers of AI in an interesting way while also displaying its potential benefits, even if that is mostly military related. The special effects are entertaining enough, but at times it feels like a rip-off from “Avatar”. A big scientific plot hole is that the story doesn’t explain how a combat ship is able to travel from Earth to the Andromeda galaxy at the snap of a figure. This is a head scratcher considering that even at the speed of light it would take 2.5 million years to get there.

The real damage to “Atlas” comes from Lopez. It is impossible to take her seriously as her emotional range vacillates wildly as she does a copious amount of pouting, crying (without shedding tears), screaming, and yelling. She plays Atlas as so emotionally unstable that there is no believable way for her to be allowed to go on the mission. Of course, some of this can be blamed on Peyton who either couldn’t or wouldn’t try to reel her in.

Overall, AI needs to deem “Atlas” as unworthy and terminate the film with extreme prejudice.

“Atlas” receives one ★ out of five.

• THE IDEA OF YOU
• Starring:  Anne Hathaway and Nicholas Galitzine
• Directed by:  Michael Showalter
• Rated:  R
• Running time:  1 hr 55 mins
• Amazon Prime

Imagine you’re recently divorced and your ex, in an effort to secure your daughter’s affections, buys her tickets to not only see her favorite boy band from when she was a kid but also the chance to meet them.  Imagine that you have to go with her and meet the band.  Now imagine that, against all odds, you fall in love.  In a nutshell, this is the story of “The Idea of You.”

Romantic comedies are a dying breed, especially this time of year.  Most filmgoers are standing in line for action films and the occasional horror thriller.  Sandwiched in between these films this year is “The Idea of You,” a sweet comedy that doesn’t take itself too seriously.  When Solene (Hathaway) meets Chase (Galitzine) it’s not cute.  It’s embarrassing, as she mistakes his VIP trailer for a public porta-potty.  Chase is quite happy that Solene has no interest in him, the majority of his life having been spent fighting off women who are intrigued by his celebrity.  And when others tell them their relationship is wrong, it only makes them hold on tighter.  Of course, like every love story, there are high points and low points and “The Idea of You” contains both.

Director Showalter, who also co-wrote the script, paces the film smoothly, avoiding most of the tropes you normally find in a film like this, raising it above the level of the Hallmark Channel movie of the week.  Both leads embrace their roles and give strong performances.  The film is also helped by some wonderful photography, courtesy of Director of Photography Jim Frohna.  He uses the screen like a canvas, filling it with bright colors and sights encountered in Chase’s travels.

Overall, when you’re in the mood for a little romance, “The Idea of You” isn’t a bad way to spend a couple hours in the dark.

On a scale of zero to five, “The Idea of You” receives ★★★1/2.

• UNFROSTED
• Starring:  Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Gaffigan and Christian Slater
• Directed by:  Jerry Seinfeld
• Rated: PG 13
• Running time: 1 hr 37 mins
• Netflix

Ah, the 1960s.  What a great time it was to be a kid.  Breakfast was an important part of the day for kids because we all had our favorite cereals.  My favorite was Quisp, which was basically Cap’n Crunch without the danger of cutting the roof of your mouth.  Quisp had a partner named Quake but Quake soon faded into cereal obscurity.  Other cereal brands I used to eat which are sadly no longer with us include Crispy Critters (hawked by Linus the Lion), Ship Shake, which was basically a butterscotch flavored version of Cap’n Crunch that you put into a mug, filled it with milk, and drank (you had to drink it fast or you just ended up with a cup of soggy cereal), and OK’s, which were basically Kellogg’s version of Cheerios.  Also, for you younger people reading this, back in the 60s cereals that you know today as Frosted Flakes, Corn Pops and Golden Crisps used to have the word SUGAR at the beginning of their names.  To make parents think their kids were eating healthy, the removed the word from the box.  The word disappeared.  The sugar didn’t.  Apparently Jerry Seinfeld and I shared a similar childhood because his nostalgic film “Unfrosted” is a project I really enjoyed.

“Unfrosted” is a fictional and tongue in cheek film about the rivalry between Kelloggs (of Battle Creek, Michigan as the commercials used to tell me) and Post (surprisingly also based in Battle Creek, Michigan, which I learned is known as Cereal City).  The rivalry stems from both companies trying to jazz up the morning meal with something you could pop in the toaster.  Possibly a tart.  Hmmmm.

I true trip down memory lane for people of my generation, “Unfrosted” gives Seinfeld his first opportunity to work behind the camera and he paces the film beautifully.  Seinfeld and his two co-writers, Spike Feresen and Andy Robins, have given life to such popular icons as Snap, Crackle and Pop.  They also have fun with Thurl Ravenscroft, played deliciously by Hugh Grant, a serious actor who is best known for his voice (besides being the “voice” of Tony the Tiger, Ravenscroft appeared in many of the animated Disney shorts and features, beginning in 1950 and continuing through the late 1970s.

Even if you weren’t a kid in the 1960s I think you’ll find “Unfrosted” to be as good as a bowl of Quisp!

On a scale of zero to five, “Unfrosted” receives ★★★★

Starring: Ry Barrett, Andrea Pavlovic and Cameron Love
Directed by: Chris Nash
Rated: NR
Running Time: 94 minutes
IFC Films and Shudder

Our Score: 4 out of 5 Stars

Is it possible to reinvent the slasher genre in the 21st century? I think there’s always a discussion about it, but I ultimately think it’s incredibly difficult, especially since some confuse reinvigorating with reinventing. It’s hard to transform the slasher genre because it’s solely built on the singular purpose of seeing people killed in brutal ways. I’m not saying it’s too simplistic, but I’ve rarely seen instances of films attempting to reinvent one of horror cinema’s greatest wheels. The most recent occurrence of reinvention is when Wes Craven unleashed “Scream” upon the world. That being said, “In a Violent Nature” comes pretty damn close.

I wasn’t sold immediately as “In a Violent Nature” opened on a deteriorating structure in the middle of a lush summertime forest. We hear a few men off-screen talking over the sounds of nature; birds, the rustling of trees in the soft breeze and the like. Then we see a locket necklace removed from a pipe shooting out of the ground. That removal is what causes our main character to emerge from the hardened, yet seemingly fresh dirt below. Johnny (Ry Barrett) crawls out of the Earth from his undead slumber and begins to shamble around the pristine woods around him. The cameras follow Johnny throughout “In a Violent Nature,” sometimes methodically, sometimes suspensefully, but ultimately with an unspoken purpose.

It’s easy to compare “In a Violent Nature” to a film like the remake of “Maniac,” where we see not only have a first person view of the killer’s world, but hear his internal monologue. “In a Violent Nature” is third person and we never get to hear what Johnny is thinking. You could almost say that we more or less see what happens during other slashers as our main killer lumbers towards an unspeakable goal or illogical destination. You can joke that in other slashers, the killer is generally just twiddling their thumbs or possibly checking their Instagram notifications as they await another teenage victim to slash and gash. Instead, we’re left to ponder for several long lapses what Johnny is doing. Revenge? Bloodlust? Boredom?

Come to think of it, I really wasn’t sold on “In a Violent Nature,” until the film’s second kill. The film juxtapositions these moments of brutality with Johnny calmly walking about. We see him as he encounters the stereotypical group of teenagers looking to camp in a place they shouldn’t be, and how he reacts. Johnny doesn’t necessarily react the way we’ve imagined Jason Vorhees or others before Johnny. Vorhees jump scares into the picture, machete in hand, and quickly mutilates his victims. Johnny just walks up. Is that what Vorhees, Krueger and Myers have been doing all along? Casually strolling up? Like slashers before him, Johnny seems focused on a singular notion, but what is that notion? What drives Johnny? At a certain point, does Johnny’s backstory answer our burning questions or merely attempt to explain the unexplainable? “In a Violent Nature” performs an autopsy and you’re left to wonder what all the different organs are and why some are disfigured while others aren’t.

The film checks all the slasher boxes, a memorable killer, creative and gruesome kills, the drowning feeling of isolation, and a pace that balances viciousness with quiet curiosity. Is “In a Violent Nature” a deconstruction of the genre, much like “Cabin in the Woods?” It’s difficult to say because the silence breeds speculation and ultimately makes the viewer deconstruct the film more than the genre. “In a Violent Nature” starts out as an homage and slowly becomes a social commentary like great slashers before it. Slashers have always tapped into societal trauma, like the breakdown of safe spaces, whether it be a pristine lake in the woods or the safety of a suburban community on Halloween. The main thing it tapped into was a fear of the unknown. It’s very human to be fearful or anxious of the uncertainty and unseen around us. It’s what made “The Strangers” so effective, murderers can come for you just because. So, in today’s digital age of data where we have access to a wide range of sources and information, we fail to remember one thing that “In a Violent Nature” reminds us of, some things will never be explained. Johnny, just like the universe, may just be random and cruel. While some may suffer fates worse than death, survivors will be haunted by its unanswered questions.

When I first saw the horror film “Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey”, I left the theater freaking out with how awesome it was but I said one thing to my wife that the sequel needs to have Tigger in it…well my prayers were answered because I had the chance to chat with Lewis Santer, who played Tigger in the sequel “Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey II”. We discussed him getting into the role, his biggest challenges and his future in “Poohniverse: Monsters Assemble”.

“Life After The NeverEnding Story” is a documentary celebrating The NeverEnding Story (1984) via cast and crew interviews, whilst exploring the lives of stars Noah Hathaway and Tami Stronach since those breakthrough roles. Lisa Downs is the person behind the documentary. She has also made other films in the “Life After” series including Flight of the Navigator and Flash Gordon. Media Mikes caught up with Lisa to discuss the documentary as well as what she has planned coming in the near future.

• KINGDOM OF THE PLANET OF THE APES
• Starring: Owen Teague, Freya Allen
• Directed by: Wes Ball
• Rating: PG-13
• Running Time: 2 hrs 25 mins
• 20th Century Studios

Originally intended to not be a franchise reboot, “Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes” becomes just that and I’m not so sure it is a good thing. The original rebooted trilogy of films – 2011’s “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” followed by 2014’s “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes,” and 2017’s “War for the Planet of the Apes” – were all critically praised, financially successful and each received Oscar nominations involving visual effects. It all ended with a truly satisfactory ending to Caesar’s journey. However, sometimes well enough can’t be left alone and this is at least partly true for “Kingdom.” While it does have an interesting storyline, it starts off sluggishly and ends with more questions than answers.

Set many generations in the future after the events involving Caesar, “Kingdom” introduces us to the new ape protagonist, Noa (Owen Teague, “It”). A member of an ape clan that trains eagles, Noa and his friends live in a time when the ruins of human cities have become overtaken by nature and the wisdom of Caesar’s teachings have been almost forgotten. A brutal attack on his clan by a much stronger rival leaves Noa alone, putting him on a quest to bring his friends back home. Along the way he runs into a friendly Orangutan named Raka (Peter Macon, “The Orville”) who reveals to him the lost knowledge of Caesar. They also pick up a lost female human name Mae (Freya Allan, “The Witcher”) who seems different than other humans that predominately wild and dumb. Eventually, Noa discovers that his clan has been enslaved by Proximus Caesar (Kevin Durand, “X-Men Origins: Wolverine”), a theatrical ape obsessed with gaining technology he believes is stored in an underground bunker.

“Kingdom” is uninteresting in its initial scenes, resulting in the wish that more editing had occurred in post-production. It almost feels like watching a montage from “Avatar.” Originality what? The story only becomes intriguing once the intrepid Noa begins his quest to save his friends. Raka turns out to be a much more captivating character, albeit a short-lived one. What really draws you in is the tension between Noa and Mae whose agenda begs the question if apes and humans can ever coexist in peace.

Overall, “Kingdom” is visually stunning as the technology to create its ape characters only gets better with time. While its ending poses the basis for a new storyline, it doesn’t have the same creative or enthusiastic vibe as the first three films.

“Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes” receives ★★★ out of five.

• LATE NIGHT WITH THE DEVIL
• Starring: David Dastmalchian, Laura Gordon
• Directed by: Cameron and Colin Cairnes
• Rating: R
• Running Time: 1 hr 33 mins
• IFC Films

I tend to stay away from so-called horror films. I regard them as mundane with over-the-top scare tactics that are silly and scripts that were probably written in crayon. I still believe that last great horror film was “The Blair Witch Project” for its use of psychological terror, but that’s a discussion for another day. However, the newest entry into the genre, “Late Night with the Devil,” elicited my intrigue because it stars one of Kansas City’s own – David Dastmalchian. Inventive. Creative. Genius. Creepy. Terrifying. Those are all adjectives that can apply to this terrific piece of cinema.

The great Michael Ironsides lays the groundwork for the story with a voiceover narration that introduces us to late night talk show host, Jack Delroy (Dastmalchian), who has connections to a mysterious place in the California woods called “The Grove” where the rich and powerful meet and hold secret rituals. We learn that from humble beginnings, Jack’s show, “Night Owls”, becomes a strong contender to Johnny Carson’s “Tonight Show.” As the years pass, though, “Night Owls” begins to slide in the ratings. At his lowest point, Jack’s wife, Madeleine (Georginia Haig, “Once Upon a Time”) dies from cancer.

After a month-long hiatus, which involved a trip to The Grove, Jack returns to his late-night gig. Desperate to save his show, Jack, in 1977, devises a Halloween show that will feature a teenage girl named Lilly (Ingrid Torelli, “Five Bedrooms”) who is supposedly possessed, and her doctor, June Ross-Mitchell (Laura Gordon, “Saw V”). Jack also brings onboard a questionable psychic and a professional debunker who is skeptic of anything paranormal or supernatural. Things start taking a turn for the worse during the show, but Jack is determined to forge ahead so he can beat Carson.

Similar to “The Blair Witch Project,” the premise of “Late Night with the Devil” is that it’s a documentary complete with the “real” footage of the Halloween broadcast of “Night Owls” and other, never-before-seen footage caught by other cameras. Dastmalchian is nothing short of brilliant in the lead as a man so desperate to be number one that he will do anything to achieve it. Jack is not a bad man, but he makes bad choices that Dastmalchian does a superb job in showing how much of a toll it ends up taking on him.

The story is like a slow boil and by the time the terror begins you are completely hooked. There are few special effects in the film, which was clearly made on a small budget. What there is could have been toned down a smidge at it does become a little too typical. Nevertheless, “Late Night with the Devil” will leave you on the edge of your seat.

Overall, you probably should not watch “Late Night with the Devil” right before you go to bed.

“Late Night with the Devil” receives ★★★1/2 out of five.

Version 1.0.0

• IF
• Starring:  Ryan Reynolds, Cailey Fleming and Steve Carell
• Directed by:  John Krasinski
• Rated:  PG
• Running time:  1 hr 44 mins
• Paramount

I’m going to admit something here that you may find hard to believe.  Except for the few episodes of “The Office” I have not seen anything directed by John Krasinski.  WHAT?  YOU NEVER SAW “A QUIET PLACE???”  No.  I heard great things but never got around to seeing it.  However, I did see Krasinski’s latest effort from behind the camera and I highly recommend it.

Bea (Fleming) is a young girl with a lot on her mind.  Still mourning the passing of her mother she is sent to live with her grandmother (Fiona Shaw) while her father (played by writer/director Krasinski) is in the hospital undergoing tests.  Heartbroken and lonely she stumbles onto someone who shares her emotions.  Well, not exactly some “one.”

A rare family themed film that will actually appeal to the entire family, “IF” – which stands for “imaginary friend” is a tale that anyone who had an imagination as a child can enjoy.

While spying him out of the corner of her eye, Bea follows Blue (voiced by Carell), back to her apartment building and to an apartment on the top floor.  Intrigued she knocks and is introduced  to Cal (Reynolds), a man whose job is to reunite other IF’s with their now grown childhood friends who, for whatever reason, have forgotten them.

Armed with a script that is both funny and touching, the cast deliver strong performances.  Reynolds has always come off as a naturally friendly guy and he brings that quality to Cal.  Fleming is equally good.  Bea is a young girl with young girl feelings and she is allowed to explore and expose all of the emotions a child in her position can face.  As Blue, Carell adds another great animated vocal performance to his resume.  He is joined by an A-list cast of vocal talents including Bradley Cooper, George Clooney, Matt Damon, Emily Blunt and Keegan-Michael Key.

Overall, the film is a sweet story that will make you laugh and, happily, cry.  With the summer blockbuster season about to begin, “IF” is a true family film that I hope doesn’t get lost at the multiplex.

On a scale of zero to five I give “IF” ★★★★

Starring: Jenna Kanell, Danny Kang and Danielle Lyn
Directed by: Raymond Wood
Rated: NR
Running Time: 83 minutes
Dark Sky Films

Our Score: 3.5 out of 5 Stars

Has horror even been this meta? “Bodies Bodies Bodies,” “X,” “One Cut of the Dead,” and “Totally Killer” are just a few of the meta horror movies from the past couple of years that I can think of off the top of my head. It’s been an interesting subgenre for decades, but it seems to have crescendoed recently. However, have we ever had an actor or actress in a newly beloved horror film take on their own success through the meta medium? After several film festivals, “Terrifier” began making the rounds in 2018. Since then, and thanks to the highly successful sequel, “Terrifier 2,” Art the Clown is slowly becoming a household slasher name and Jenna Kanell’s career has taken off. I’ve seen Kanell once a year in one film or another and she has this dangerous, yet fun magnetism about her. This is basically what “Faceless After Dark” is.

Bowie (Jenna Kanell) is famous after starring in a film where she dukes it out with a sociopathic killer clown. It leads to more horror film offers, conventions on weekends and an internet buzz that seems inescapable. But it isn’t the boost to her career she was expecting. She doesn’t like the convention circuit, she doesn’t like being typecast as the final girl, she doesn’t like the lack of pay, she doesn’t like that her creative ideas and aspirations are ignored and she definitely doesn’t like the daily parade of older, uglier, fatter and hideous men sliding into her DMs. This frustration builds and builds until one night, a person imitating the sociopathic killer clown from Bowie’s famous film enters her home during another frustrating night of writer’s block. However, she may have just found her inspiration.

“Faceless After Dark ” blurs the lines so much between Kanell/Bowie, we’re unsure about quite a lot as the film progresses. We enjoy watching Bowie getting vengeance, but how much of this is entrenched in Kanell’s beliefs and existence within the artist and audience dynamic? There aren’t too many clues during Bowie’s blood rage to mine out a direct interpretation of Kanell’s attitudes. She might actually be a true sociopath if that was the case, but the film does have a very cathartic nature to it. We may not understand the strife on screen, but we understand how social media, the constant negativity it pours into our lives, and the contemporary world around us becomes more and more of a burden the more we allow our lives to bleed into social media. That’s when the mess of the world feels more tangible than other issues in our life that we can actually handle and change. It’s a human breaking point of needing to lash out when the world feels like it’s lashing you daily.

There’s a lot of pondering going on behind Kanell’s eyes, whether it’s while she checks her phone, edits video footage or stares with pure determination into the camera during a strobe light montage of violent imagery. On top of Kanell’s mysteriousness, “Faceless After Dark” makes a few interesting remarks about the slasher genre. The title slasher, whether it be Freddy Krueger, Jason Vorhees or even Art the Clown, always seems to be given the true love and adoration while the love and adoration for final girls like Bowie/Kanell may be at times genuine, but sometimes sexually motivated and overtly creepy. It’s also interesting that many slashers simply kill to kill, sometimes indiscriminately or, as it was stated for years, because they had sex. We still love those male slashes for it. In “Faceless After Dark,” it’s almost like Bowie needs an emotional excuse instead of indiscriminate slashing. Without that linchpin, we risk not liking her. Odd, isn’t it?

“Faceless After Dark” is a suitable slasher, but is way better as the meta slasher it angles to be. If you don’t know Kanell and the “Terrifier” franchise, I doubt you’d understand a lot of the film and I also doubt you’d be interested in this film in the first place.  Led by Kanell, who may deserve her own slasher series after this, “Faceless After Dark” is a vicious spectacle that will potentially have genre fans questioning their own fandom and what the film ultimately represents.

• UNFROSTED
• Starring: Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Gaffigan
• Directed by: Jerry Seinfeld
• Rating: PG-13
• Running Time: 1 hr 33 mins
• Netflix

The year 1963 was a pivotal moment in modern American history. The Cold War ran hot with the Soviet Union and the Civil Rights movement was in full gear. It was also time when Kellogg and Post cereal brands were competing with one another not to be the first to land on the moon, but the first cereal company to create a toaster friendly pastry for breakfast. Decades later, enter comedic legend Jerry Seinfeld with his funny take on that race in his feature film directorial debut, “Unfrosted.”

Overflowing with so many cameos that it’s impossible to count them all, “Unfrosted” is loosely based on the true story of how the Post brand announced it had a product called “Country Squares” in development and Kellogg’s hurried response to come up with what became known as “Pop-Tarts.” Seinfeld stars as Bob Cabana, a senior ranking member of the Kellogg’s staff and right-hand man of Edsel Kellogg III (Jim Gaffigan). Their archnemesis from across the parking lot in Battle Creek, Michigan is none other than Marjorie Post (Amy Schumer). Always placing second behind Kellogg’s, Marjorie is depicted as a ruthless corporate boss willing to do anything to get a leg up on the competition, including stealing company secrets.

It’s all quite silly of course as every character is portrayed as being clueless to one degree or another. The writing is tongue-in-cheek with plenty of satire to go around. Seinfeld does a marvelous job of corralling a ton of comedic talent and turning it all into cohesive chaos. He plays off Gaffigan and his other main co-star, Melissa McCarthy, who plays a NASA scientist that joins forces with Cabana, with absolute ease. It looks almost effortless as there are plenty of genuine laughs to be had. I would be remiss if I did not mention the absurdity that Hugh Grant brings as a struggling Shakespearean actor who thinks he is God’s gift to the mascot world with his role as Tony the Tiger.

“Unfrosted” can be a bit disjointed and a little too campy for its own good, but its laughable absurdity falls into the same level of genius as “The Death of Stalin” and “What We Do in the Shadows.” Come on, a milk man delivery service is likened to a secret, organized crime ring. Seinfeld’s effort is not Shakespeare, nor does it have some hidden agenda. Overall, “Unfrosted” may be simple but it is coated with plenty of sugary sweet laughs.

“Unfrosted” receives ★★★1/2 out of five.

Susan Backlinie getting into the harness that would pull her across the water in “Jaws”

Fifty years ago this month the film JAWS began filming on Martha’s Vineyard.  The first scene shot consisted of members of the cast finding the remains of a young girl who had gone for a midnight swim and been attacked by a shark.  The young woman’s name was Christine Watkins, and she was played by Susan Backlinie.  Ms. Backlinie passed away today (May 11^th) at the age of 77.

A skilled swimmer, Susan easily found work as a “Mermaid” at the Weeki Wachie attraction in Florida in the mid-1960s.  I remember my grandparents taking me there but it was after Susan had moved on to become an animal trainer.  Her work, and beauty, was later profiled in the January 1973 issue of “Penthouse” magazine.

Susan performing as a “Mermid” at Weeki Wachee

Her first film role was as Chrissie Watkins, the first victim of the shark in JAWS.  Swimming naked in the Atlantic Ocean she is attacked and violently killed, her body thrashing across the water as her screams go unheard.  Clinging to a buoy as her life slowly flows out of her, she recites the Lord’s Prayer, to no avail.  The scene set the tone for the film and was not easily forgotten by filmgoers.

 Photo by Moviestore/REX Shutterstock (1597310a)  Used by permission.
Her work in JAWS got her noticed and soon she was working as a stuntwoman, appearing in such films as Grizzly, Day of the Animals, and Two-Minute Warning and on such television programs as “The Incredible Hulk” and, naturally, “The Fall Guy.”  She also recreated her midnight swim to comic effect when Steven Spielberg cast her as the Polar Bear swimmer who finds herself “attacked” by a submarine in 1941.   

Filming the opening scene for “1941.”

I first met Susan at the 1^st JAWSFest in 2005.She was very nice, answered questions and signed autographs for anyone that asked.  It wasn’t until the next JAWSFest, in 2012, that our paths would cross again.  My wife and I were in Menemsha visiting a small shop when I noticed both Susan and Jeff Kramer standing around outside.  I said hello and Kramer commented that they had been waiting for sometime for someone from the Fest to come pick them up and take them back to Edgartown.  However, they couldn’t get ahold of anyone.  We quickly volunteered to take them back to town but, as they both were quite hungry – they had been at the shop for several hours – we offered to take them to lunch.  Jeff recommended a small shack at the end of the harbor and we headed there.  I was shocked to see that it was situated right next to the (still) vacant lot where quint’s shack had been built.  If you stood in the lot and looked towards the water you got the same view seen through the shark jaws when the ORCA pulls out of the harbor in JAWS.  We had a great lunch as both Susan and Jeff told some amazing stories.  I would see her occasionally over the years, usually at fan conventions.  She was always friendly.  I last saw her the past October when she was a guest at ScareFest in Lexington, Kentucky.  We said “hello” and I presented her with a t-shirt highlighting our JAWS 50 group.  She loved it.  As we said our goodbyes, I noted that, among the items she was signing was a Star Wars movie poster.  I was curious and I asked her why.  Had she possibly been a Stormtrooper in the film?  No.  As I mentioned earlier, Susan was an animal trainer and had, among her animals, a bear cub.  Her cub’s growl was recorded and was used for the growls of Chewbacca the Wookie! 

Susan is survived by her husband of nearly three decades, Harvey Swindall. 

• THE BEEKEEPER
• Starring: Jason Statham, Jeremy Irons
• Directed by: David Ayer
• Rating: R
• Running Time: 1 hr 45 mins
• Amazon MGM Studios

Jason Statham is one of the best action movie stars that has ever been on the silver screen. However, not all his movies are necessarily the greatest of quality. Unlike 2021’s brilliant “Wrath of Man,” Statham’s newest endeavor “The Beekeeper,” which is now available on streaming services, is perhaps one of his worst. Poorly written, acted, and directed, “The Beekeeper” tastes more like vinegar than honey.

Eloise Parker (Phylicia Rashad) is a retired educator who has developed a friendly relationship with her neighbor, Adam Clay (Jason Statham) who happens to be a beekeeper. A phishing scam robs Eloise of all her money. Despondent, she takes her life, but Adam is initially blamed for it by Eloise’s daughter, FBI Agent Verona Parker (Emmy Raver-Lampman). Inexplicably, Raver-Lampman plays the scene with same depth of emotion as a stack of firewood.

Of course, since he is being played by Statham, Adam is not all that he appears to be. He is instead a trained killing machine known as a beekeeper. Through his contacts, Adam finds out where the call center is that ripped off Eloise, and countless other victims, and burns it to the ground while kicking butt. Meanwhile, Agent Verona drowns herself in alcohol.

Like a terminator, Adam begins killing his way to the top of the beehive, which in this case appears to be Wallace Westwyld (Jeremy Irons), a former intelligence chief hired long ago by a powerful political figure to protect her family’s company name and keep her son out of trouble. Wallace calls in favors, including former Navy SEALS, to stop Adam, who often manages to pull a Neo by dodging hundreds of rounds of ammunition.

The impetus for “The Beekeeper” is timely as increasing numbers of elderly people are taken advantage of by unscrupulous people, leaving them destitute. While Statham is consistent and Irons is okay as the main villain, the film lacks talent, among other things, to make it an entertaining action flick. The action is too choreographed with graphics thrown up on the screen that reminiscent of something you would have seen in a 1970s TV series.

Overall, “The Beekeeper” is flat out boring, even though it does toss out a somewhat surprising twist towards the end. It would be more fun to throw oneself on top of a beehive than to watch “The Beekeeper.”

“The Beekeeper” receives a half star out of five.