Raise those horns up high as Dio – “Dreamers Never Die” delves deep into the legendary singer’s incredible rise from a ’50s crooner to his early rock days in Ritchie Blackmore’s RAINBOW to replacing Ozzy Osbourne in BLACK SABBATH – before finally cementing his rock star status with his own solo group. Dio “Dreamers Never Die” is jammed pack with archival footage and music from the singers storied career coupled with a slew of brand new interviews from friends, family and former band members

Clocking in at just over 2hrs. the initial film is everything you would expect in your standard “rockumentary”. Tons of rare behind the scenes and live performance footage make up a majority of the film which also features a spattering of newly filmed interviews with people such as Rudy Sarzo, Rob Halford and Dio’s wife Wendy among many others all sharing their own candid stories of the fabled singer. For fans looking for more than just the standard film a Deluxe Edition DVD/Blu-ray Set is available and comes brimming over with everything from 20 minutes of bonus interviews to DIO-branded trading cards, guitar picks, label pin, coasters, tissues and a fold-out poster from the film. The set also includes both DVD and Blu-ray Discs and comes housed in a high quality lift-off box which will look great on display.

We really enjoyed the film and the packing on the Deluxe Edition release was really nice however, I am not sure there is enough included in the set that warrants the $99 price tag. With only 20 minutes of additional footage and two identical copies of the film (1 DVD & 1 Blu-Ray) I felt there was a missed opportunity here to make something really special for the fans by including either a new live compilation DVD or Audio CD as the addition of one or both of those would have given fans wanting more than just the feature film something they would have really enjoyed. Sure you get the above mentioned DIO adorned items but for me these come off as just cheap promo items more than collector level pieces. If you are hardcore Dio Disciple with a few extra bucks to spend then you may want to grab the Deluxe set as the box alone is pretty awesome looking however, if you can do without a few extra minutes of “bonus” interview footage and a couple pieces of tchotchke then go ahead a grab the standard version of the film as even the most casual of Dio fans will want to check this film out.

Dave McRae is a professional voice actor and filmmaker. His voice has been heard in thousands of radio, television, and online commercials, network promos, movie and game trailers, narration and animation across North America and around the world. His latest role is stepping into the shoes of Freddy Krueger in Dylan’s New Nightmare: An Elm Street Fan Film. Media Mikes had a chance to chat with Dave about playing the iconic character and also about his Black Christmas fan film “It’s Me, Billy”. Dave also has an incredibly successful YouTube channel, you can check it out here:    / @davemcraeofficial  

Colin Krawchuk is the co-writer and director of The Jester and Michael Sheffield is also co-writer and plays The Jester himself. Some might not know but The Jester character has been around since 2016 on YouTube. Media Mikes had a chance to chat with Colin and Michael about the evolution of The Jester from YouTube to feature film and the future of the character.

10/16/2023 – Los Angeles, CA / Brisbane, Australia] 90’s pop icon Vanilla Ice stars as himself alongside Australia’s darling Sophie Monk, who is also playing herself in the upcoming action-comedy, “Zombie Plane”. Radioactive and Entertainment Squad (subsidiary of Studio Dome) revealed this morning in The Hollywood Reporter the cast which includes Chuck Norris, starring as Commander Chuck Norris who mentored and trained Ice to be the deadly secret agent he is today.

In “Zombie Plane,” a secret government agency recruited celebrities to be undercover agents, and together they saved humanity from an imminent zombie attack. The film is littered with celebrity cameos as well as well-known pop music from the 90’s including Vanilla Ice’s own library.

The film was shot earlier this year in Australia with the support of Screen Australia. Directed by Lav Bodnaruk and Michael Mier, of Chop Shop Post, an established post-production and VFX company who’s recent work includes Paramount+ ‘Last King of the Cross’ and Amazon’s ‘Troppo’.

Producer and Radioactive MD Jessica Butland commented: “audiences can expect a wild ride, Vanilla Ice is in his element as secret agent and Chuck Norris having trained him is excellent and it just works”

Executive Producer Shaked Berenson added “Zombie Plane uses comedy, the zombie genre and 90’s nostalgia as a vehicle, to comment on pop-culture as much as it feeds it, creating unforgettable one-liners and situational comedy ‘to the extreme’.

Studio Dome will launch international sales at the upcoming American Film Market in November.

Radioactive is an Australian production and distribution company founded by Jessica Butland (RUBY’S CHOICE, THE RED). Radioactive’s recent releases include UK Sci-fi/Drama AROUND THE SUN, John Soto’s Action/Thriller AVARICE and Lily Taylor & Stefania LaVie Owen starring in multi-award winner PAPER SPIDERS.

Entertainment Squad is the production arm of Studio Dome, founded by veteran producer Shaked Berenson (TURBO KID, TALES OF HALLOWEEN). Recent productions include the Shudder Original SLAXX, and the critically acclaimed horror-comedy SUMMONING SYLVIA.

Starring: Ellen Adair, Mitzi Akaha and Jeremy Holm
Directed by: Steven Pierce
Rated: NR
Running Time: 97 minutes
Dark Sky Films

Our Score: 1.5 out of 5 Stars

Despite the saturation of the zombie genre over the past few decades, I still have a soft spot for it. Films like “The Sadness” and “Wyrmwood: Apocalypse” show there’s plenty of fun ideas to still explore within the genre. Then other films seem to simply retread tired clichés, like how humans are worse than zombies or how we’ll fight each other before we fight zombies. Unfortunately, despite an interesting beginning, I’d put “Herd” in the latter category.

Jamie (Ellen Adaiar) and Alex (Mitzi Akaha) are going on a canoe camping trip to repair their breaking relationship. Things get tense during the trip and Alex injures her leg, trapping the duo near Jamie’s hometown, filled with bad memories, two warring factions, and a potentially abusive parent. On top of that, the zombie apocalypse has apparently broken out. While the calamity could provide some fresh meat to the genre, “Herd” goes a lot of predictable routes before it’s finale.

The obvious social commentary in “Herd” is ones we’ve seen before like the breakdown of civilization through overt classism and distrust of one another. “Herd” tries to bring a bit more to the table by offering up the LGBTQ+ relationship of Jamie and Alex. The duo worries about whether or not they’ll be accepted by what few people are left, or as the film title explicitly implies, the herd. It doesn’t necessarily work since the armed men running the show seem more afraid of every cough and sniffle they hear, but it’s clearly a commentary on how small-town acceptance only extends to straight white people.

Other than the commentary, the middle of the film tries to be a character study, focusing on the characters fears and concerns. It would have worked better if the humans and zombies were menacing. Like I said, the men with guns seem more concerned about the other men with guns and every time they hear someone clear their throat. The zombies are slow moving and are covered in boils, yet sometimes seem unconcerned with actually chomping into someone’s flesh. Instead they growl, claw and make gurgling scream sounds.

I’m willing to forgive bad zombie films as long as I’m entertained, but nothing about the “Herd” kept me engaged. The only thing that kept me going was the hope that the ending would somehow pull the rug out from under me or tie everything together in a way that would make my jaw drop. It didn’t, but I’ll give credit for the unpredictable nature of it. There’s a lot of skill, craft and effort in “Herd,” but all of that was bogged down by an uninspired script that made the 97-minute runtime feel like a zombie crawl.

Starring: Ezequiel Rodríguez, Demián Salomón and Silvina Sabater
Directed by: Demián Rugna
Rated: NR
Running Time: 99 Minutes
IFC Films

Our Score: 4 out of 5 Stars

On the same weekend that “When Evil Lurks” hits theaters, audiences will also be treated to “The Exorcist: Believer,” which is kind of ironic. That’s because 1973’s “The Exorcist” created the book on demon possession tropes. While I’m sure “Believer” has the book in hand throughout most of its film, “When Evil Lurks” clearly skimmed through and decided to make its own unflinching and unforgiving rules.

The Argentinian film opens on two brothers in a rural village hearing gunshots in the night. They speculate what it is, but decide to investigate in the morning. Their investigation leads them to half a corpse and then to a house where they find a putrid, bloated, rotting, but still alive human referred to as “the rotten.” The woman of the household urges them to leave it alone even though the obese creature is on the verge of birthing evil itself. The brothers also suspect the evil inside is the reason their rural village has been befallen by death, bad luck, bitter dirt, wilted crops and starving livestock. We eventually learn that a demon inhabits the rotten and simply killing the rotten unleashes the demon to go after other prey.

While the demon possession rules are a bit confusing, we’re told throughout that there are seven rules when encountering evil. Seven is a big number in Christianity, whether it’s how it took God seven days to create the Earth or the Book of Revelation in which there are seven seals. The film is rich in Christian theology, but a lot of times the rotten seem like more than just demons from Hell. There are several contagion themes, including the obvious idea that you truly never know who has been possessed until it’s too late. I also found it interesting that the gut reaction of every man in the film was to immediately shoot and kill the rotten (a big no-no in the seven rules). Meanwhile, the women know of the seven rules, know what to do and ultimately hold the potential key to ending the reign of terror. Themes aside, the movie is absolutely brutal.

From the corpse that you can smell from the screen at the beginning to the visually gruesome deaths of several characters throughout the film, “When Evil Lurks” could care less about your sense and sensibilities, much less your morals. Once we understand that evil will kill and cannibalize any human it comes across, every scene has a palpable tension, especially since animals, children and women seem to be the favorite target of the rotten. Adding to the shocking effect is practical effects that add to the general unease sprinkled throughout the film.

“When Evil Lurks” is an unholy assault on your senses with sudden nihilistic violence and an overall feeling of hopelessness. There is no silver lining or light at the end of the tunnel for our characters. Early on we understand that nothing good will happen and that no one will be saved. In a lot of ways that’s what makes “When Evil Lurks” a massive surprise. Even when it reveals its bleak cards, we want to see how it uses them.

Starring: Kiernan Shipka, Olivia Holt and Charlie Gillespie
Directed By: Nahnatchka Khan
Rated: R
Running Time: 103 Minutes
Amazon Prime Video

Our Score: 3.5 out of 5 Stars

Some of the hardest genres to write are comedy and horror. So, even if a comedy-horror ultimately comes off as generic, but still manages to tickle the funny bone while splattering the screen with blood and gore, that’s a good time in my book. While not a sharp generational criticism like 2022’s “Bodies, Bodies, Bodies,” or an entertaining mockery of horror tropes like “Scare Package,” “Totally Thriller” earns points for tackling one of the toughest genres with enough scattered jokes, gruesome kills and a dash of “who cares, just enjoy it” attitude to become an enjoyable slice of comedy-horror. Emphasis on the comedy.

“Totally Killer” opens on Halloween 2023 in the small town of Vernon which still can’t escape October 1987, when a masked killer, referred to as the Sweet 16 Killer, murdered three 16-year-old high-school girls by stabbing them 16 times. I’m not sure why he didn’t kill 16, but I digress. Pam Hughes (Julie Bowen) lives in fear that the killer will return, especially since she was friends with all three victims. Her daughter Jamie (Kiernan Shipka) is all like, “Whatever mom, get over it. Leave me the hell alone.” Then her mom is murdered by the Sweet 16 Killer. Distraught, Jamie meets up with her friend who is building a time machine (this is the first of many instances where the movie gets intentionally silly and once again shrugs its shoulders). Later on, Jamie is attacked by the Sweet 16 Killer only to be transported back in time to October 1987 through a bizarre knife to the time machine interface mishap.

“Totally Killer” works because it seems like as the film progresses, Jamie is slowly realizing she’s in a bad slasher film. Jamie name drops horror and time travel films, including “Back to the Future” which “Totally Killer” steals heavily from, comments on the out-of-date circumstances throughout the 80s and seemingly doesn’t mind screwing up the space time continuum by changing history. The film also gives away its future plot points through its movie name drops as if to say originality dies in this film with the teens. Even the killer’s mask, one we’ve never seen before, looks like Max Headroom doing Jim Carrey’s patented eyebrow raise. I’m not sure if anything in this movie isn’t a reference, wink or nod to something else. Like I said, this movie just kind of shrugs and goes, “Here’s a joke and knife to the guts.”

While this could normally ruin a film, “Totally Killer” just relishes in its own ridiculousness and it’s helped by Shipka’s performance which matches every scene perfectly. When she needs to point out the absurdity of a plot point, she does. When she needs to be the parent in charge of a bunch of horny drug fueled teens to make sure they don’t die, she does. When she needs to deliver exposition without questioning the absolute stupidity of what’s happening, she does. Even in the final act, when she has to be the movie’s badass, she does. If Shipka wasn’t with us on this crazy time traveling journey, “Totally Killer” would totally suck.

“Totally Killer” is totally unoriginal, but still totally fun. It’s a film that utilizes every slasher cliché while ridiculing the 80s decade it pulled those same clichés from. Sure, some of the jokes are predictable and the parody isn’t witty like “Airplane,” but “Totally Killer” is so comfortable with what it’s doing that you ultimately relax and wait for the next unpredictable joke or slasher moment. The whole intent of the film is to entertain, no matter how cheesy, lazy and predictable it sometimes is. There’s something admirable if not ultimately meta about that. Maybe “Totally Killer” will ultimately be forgotten and I’ll never watch it again, but if its entire intent was to make me chuckle and make me forget about the cruel world around me for 103 minutes, mission accomplished. 

The newly released, Berry Gordy’s The Last Dragon, which is an 80’s genre mash-up favorite of mine. I can’t tell you how many times I watched Michael Schultz’ Motown flavored martial arts movie growing up. However, I will tell you that very few films from that time period stuck with me like this one. Was it the action? The music? The awesome over-the-top villain Sho’nuff portrayed by Julius Carry? The sweet scenes between Taimak and Vanity?  I would say it was all-of-the above. The Last Dragon had everything I wanted in a movie and nearly four decades later, it still rocks.

Leroy Green (Taimak) dreams of becoming a great martial artist. He has almost reached the final level of his training. However, Leroy’s master explains to him that the final level, knows as “The Last Dragon” must be found on his own. If Leroy can complete the final level, he will be able to harness the mystical energy that would allow him to physically glow. His master sends Leroy on a spiritual journey through the streets of New York to locate Master Sum Dum Goy, who might be able to teach him how to unlock the great power of “The Glow’.

Of course, Leroy’s journey is not an easy one. Sho’nuff (The Shogun of Harlem) sees Leroy as the only person standing in his way of being the true master. Each time Sho’nuff and his gang challenges Leroy, he refuses to fight. Leroy’s family even pays the price when Sho’nuff demolishes his parent’s pizza shop. Leroy’s journey becomes even more complicated when he rescues music video show host Laura Charles (Vanity), who is being abducted by goons hired by the sleezy video-arcade mogul Eddie Arkadian (Christopher Murney). He wants Laura to play his girlfriend’s music video on her show and he won’t take no for an answer. Aside from searching for Master Sum Dum Goy, Leroy must protect Laura from Arkadian, find a way to deal with Sho’nuff and reach the final level of his training. Leroy also didn’t expect to start falling in love either.

The Last Dragon is silly and there is no denying it, but it’s also so much fun with a great soundtrack. I mean, MOTOWN founder Berry Gordy produced it, so you know the music is gonna be great. The chemistry between Taimak and Vanity really works well here. This is definitely a love-letter to classic martial arts films and even though it is also a comedy, it truly respects the art form and films that inspired it.

The new 4K transfer does not disappoint. It was scanned from the original camera negative and presented with Dolby Vision. The streets of Harlem look incredibly detailed, especially during the daytime shots. Eddie’s office is filled with neon colors that absolutely pop, as-well-as the set of Laura’s video show. Don’t even get me started on how awesome the red and yellow glows look during Leroy’s final fight with Sho’nuff. As for the audio, we get an all-new Dolby Atmos track which is taken full advantage of, especially during the numerous fight sequences. As mentioned before, The Last Dragon has a stellar 80’s soundtrack and the new audio track puts a shine on that.  If you are a fan, I highly recommend picking up this release, which also comes packed in a great looking steelbook. Three out of five stars ⭐️ ⭐️⭐️

“The Blackening” was one of 2023’s best horror surprises. The Juneteenth slasher movie is a celebration of Black comedy, as it takes horror tropes and spins them on their head. While the Tim Story directed movie definitely delivers more laughs than scares, it’s worth revisiting — especially with the great collection of bonus features. 

The setup is one that’ll be familiar to fans — a group of friends rent out a cabin for a reunion, then get stalked by a serial killer. What makes “The Blackening” so fun is that it uses these familiar trappings to its advantage. Featuring an all-Black main cast highlighted by Grace Byers and Jermaine Fowler, the characters take the situation seriously, but they’re very self-aware of the situation and reference horror films. Think “Scream” rather than “Scary Movie.” The script is sharp, but what really makes the jokes land are the great deliveries, as the characters truly acts like a group of friends.

Every member of “The Blackening”’s cast is given a chance to shine throughout the film (especially Diedrich Bader in a great supporting role) and no subject matter is off limits. Everything from Donald Trump to “Friends” and O’Reilly Auto Parts are mentioned in hilarious one-offs. Things never get too tense despite the subject matter, and jokes are rapid-fire. You’ll never get too much of a reprieve from laughing. 

What really makes “The Blackening” 4K and Blu-ray special is the wide array of special features that are just as funny as the feature film. The meatiest segment is “Do the Write Thing,” a 13-minute featurette focused on the writing process and how the film came together. A fun Q&A segment and a hilarious game show are also highlights, while a deleted scene and a reel of outtakes are also fun to watch. Overall, there are over 40 minutes of special features here and I enjoyed them all. The commentary track is well worth checking out, too. It features Story and writers Tracy Oliver and Dewayne Perkins, who stars in “The Blackening” and wrote the original short that inspired the film. This was Perkins’ first time writing a movie, so it’s interesting to hear how Oliver helped the talented comedian find his voice for the script. The stories of filming are a blast, and it’s an easy listen. As a film, “The Blackening” is a reminder of the sharp comedies that used to be a regular presence in movie theaters.

As a home video release, the 4K and Blu-ray release is a throwback to when home releases were filled with bonus content rather than the streamlined affair most are now. From the hilarious commentary track that delivers plenty of laughs and insight to the well-edited featurettes, this is a home release worth supporting if you dig horror comedies. It’s an inherently rewatchable comedy that offers some great laughs and a fun twist on the horror genre. Three out of five stars. ⭐️ ⭐️⭐️

Steven LaMorte is the man behind the new parody horror film The Mean One starring David Howard Thornton aka Art the Clown from the Terrifier series. Media Mikes had a chance to chat with Steve about the film and what it took to get it made and also what’s to come in the future.

Eduardo Sanchez is known best for his work directing “The Blair Witch Project”, which is celebrating its 25th anniversary next year. Eduardo recently directed a new segment “The Vampire” from the new anthology film “Satanic Hispanics”. Besides horror, Eduardo has been directing tons of new TV shows including Star Trek: Strange New Worlds. Media Mikes had a chance to chat about his new film “Satanic Hispanics”, his TV work and the upcoming 25th anniversary plans for “The Blair Witch Project”.

Directed by: David Bruckner, Scott Derrickson, Gigi Saul Guerrero, Natasha Kermani and Mike Nelson
Rated: NR
Running Time: 110 minutes
Shudder

Our Score: 4 out of 5 Stars

Found footage has really hit its stride lately and that’s carrying over into one of the most unlikely ongoing franchises in the horror landscape, “V/H/S.” When the original came out in 2012, it didn’t necessarily light the world on fire, but since 2021, the “V/H/S” franchise has become a yearly tradition. 2021 saw the franchise become more chaotic as these movies became more memorable for breaking the mold and rules of found footage films. The latest addition, “V/H/S 85,” not only serves as an homage to the 80s, but finds the franchise tinkering with the clichés and found footage style once again with gloriously gory results.

The entire film plays like a dozen people recorded different things over the same VHS tape. The wraparound story, individual stories, are sometime interrupted by snippets of commercials that are so borderline realistic, I have to wonder if they’re from dead brands. “V/H/S 85” opens with our wrap around story, “Total Copy,” an “In Search Of…” and “Unsolved Mysteries” style TV show about a group of scientists studying a bizarre piece of intelligent life they name “Rufus.” The blobby shape-shifting creature is isolated in a room with American TV shows running 24/7. The idea, according to the scientists, is that the creature will eventually learn how to communicate with scientists, even though half the time the TV shows it appears to be watching are generic infomercials. Certainly, the wraparound story serves as a commentary on TV consumption, but we immediately know these scientists won’t have long to live if their idea of communicating with a suspicious lifeform is butt enhancing workout infomercials.

Busting out of the wraparound is “No Wake,” a tale of seven friends heading off to a lake for camping, swimming, drugs and sex. I immediately thought, “Oh, I’m about to watch an homage to an 80s slasher,” but once the blood squirts and the guts begin spilling, I really didn’t know what was happening or what was going to happen next, at all. The other interesting aspect to this short is that it kind of ends abruptly. Just as it’s about to hit its climax, it cuts to the next short. The conclusion to “No Wake” comes later in “V/H/S 85.” Without spoiling the set-up, you’ll be smiling ear-to-ear by the time “No Wake” wraps up its delightfully bonkers set-up.

After the camping trip to hell, we go south of the border to Mexico for “God of Death,” a bit of art mimicking life. The backdrop is the real-life 1985 Mexico City Earthquake, but the story opens before the quake in a news studio getting ready for one of its early morning reports. The earthquake hits and the staff are buried under rubble. Rescue workers show up to find that only a cameraman is left alive (of course). Their escape through the maze of rubble takes them down a path of blood, gore and coming face-to-face with the God of Death. As someone who’s never heard of this destructive event, I can’t help but think this short may be about how the God of Death, metaphorical or real in terms of government inaction, is just lying in wait for the next big one to kill thousands and thousands.

The next segment, “TKNOGD,” is difficult to describe because too much information kind of spoils the whole thing, but it feels very much like a punk rock avant garde art exhibit experimenting with technology. A performance artist is making a commentary on technology and God, something that oddly feels super relevant right now, before the predictable chaos and carnage of horror happens. It’s a short that still works like the previous ones because of its commentary, violent practical effects, and dark humor. It’s also the shortest of the entries, which is perfect for the story that it’s attempting to tell. It’s also a great lead-up to maybe one of the best shorts in “V/H/S” history.

“Dreamkill” is like an indie David Lynch teaming up with Wes Craven for a grisly and vicious tale. “Dreamkill” is about a police detective who keeps receiving VHS tapes showing a first-person view of violent murders, some of the more gruesome we’ve seen in the “V/H/S” series. The catch though, is that the murders happen days after the police detective receives them. He arrives on scene, already knowing how the killer got in, how he moved about and how he mutilated the victims, having watched the gonzo first-person footage. It’s one of those shorts that you could easily see becoming a full-length film, especially as we find out the person behind the footage and who the killer is. Even though I had a sneaking suspicion of who the killer was, I don’t think it took away from “Dreamkill” because of how everything unfolds. At times it’s very unsettling, dropping a bit of realism into the absurdity of it all. Like the killer’s knife, it’s likely to get under your skin.

Just like the previous installment, “V/H/S 99,” the found footage rules are broken left and right, but because of the unique choices that footage is incorporated into the overall product, it makes us forget some of the more nagging questions we might otherwise have. It’s really difficult to pinpoint a weakness in this anthology film. There’s always that one short that kind of sticks out like the ugly stepchild, but all the shorts in this work. I’m not sure if it’s because they all take place in 1985 or if one of the directors overlooked every product in an attempt to create a cohesive brutal vibe. If you’re a first timer to the anthology, or maybe stopped sometime after “V/H/S: Viral,” now is definitely the time to pick the franchise back-up. “V/H/S 85” is the best of the franchise; it’s a retro blast utilizing blood and guts to ingenious levels. It also stands to be one of the grittiest and best horror films of this year.

Starring: AnnaLynne McCord, Dean Cain and Natasha Henstridge
Directed by: Tommy Stovall
Rated: NR
Running Time: 93 minutes
Stonecutter Media

Our Score: 2.5 out of 5 Stars

If you Google “Condition of Return,” you’ll get the following synopsis: “A churchgoing woman makes a heinous deal with the Devil in order to save her soul.” Honestly, that’s all I needed to watch this film in the hopes of seeing a Satanic horror film. What I got was an unintentional comedy.

The movie opens with Eve (AnnaLynne McCord) walking into a Catholic church during mass and opening fire with an assault rifle, all the while tears well in her eyes as she watches the various attendees scatter in terror. We cut to much later, where Eve is shackled and Dr. Donald Thomas (Dean Cain) has been flown in to interview Eve. His goal, according to the police chief, is to declare that she is sane. That’s so that the state can cross that red tape checkmark off its list and pump Eve full of various drugs until she dies. With a recorder and notepad in hand, Dr. Thomas sits down for the silliest “be careful or you’re going to hell” movie of the 21st century.

Is that previous comment praise for “Condition of Return?” No. But that’s only because I feel like this movie was made in an earnest effort. I say that because throughout I kept checking if maybe I went in with the wrong expectations. After the first few chuckles, I checked the press email I got about the film. Sure enough, it’s listed as a “Faustian drama.” About halfway through, I checked IMDb which listed it as a “mystery.” By the end I had fully succumbed to my MST3K sensibilities and began laughing at the absurdity of it all.

If I had to describe “Condition of Return,” it’s a film with SyFy Creature Feature production values and a religious script that would make Kevin Sorbo drool at the sheer flawed morality of it. Eve’s tale to Dr. Thomas begins with her meeting a random guy at the bar, only to get knocked up, miscarry and marry the loser. Right off the bat, none of it feels real or genuine. Eve also drops the fact that she’s Catholic. A lot. So as her backstory progresses, she tells Dr. Thomas an increasingly bizarre story of her failing marriage which, no joke, leads to an FBI bust, time in prison, and finally searching “how to summon the devil” online where she lands on a website called Blood Knife. I felt like every unrealistic and stupid progression in Eve’s backstory was like a bad joke being delivered in just the right way to elicit an uncomfortable laugh.

It’s weird when you give a film a middling review when you know that some people will watch this and turn it off in the first 15 minutes, whether it’s the bad special effects, the stagnant dialogue or the go nowhere plot. Others though, like me, will relish in the sheer stupidity of it and will find themselves gleefully waiting to see what happens next, in pure morbid fashion. The old cliché phrase of “It’s so bad, it’s good,” applies to all 93 minutes of “Condition of Return.”

Starring: Aly Trasher, Alisha Soper and William Gabriel Grier
Directed by: Travis Greene
Rated: R
Running Time: 82 minutes
Dark Sky Films

Our Score: 2.5 out of 5 stars

How do you begin to describe a movie that basically gives itself away in the title? Here’s the gist: A desert AirBnB will be the site of a get together between young Millennial/Zoomer couples Carrie (Aly Trasher) and Ricky (Eddy Acosta), and Sam (Alisha Soper) and Dwayne (William Gabriel Grier). However, since the couples arrive at different times, they’re greeted by the supposed original AirBnB guests, Boomer/Gen-X couple Richard (Tim Simek) and Liz (Rosanne Limeres). We aren’t sure who is murdered or why the murders are happening, but the film will slowly unravel that aspect after the opening moments when we witness the ax murder of AirBnB host, Jessie (Jenny Tran). We also know eight people die, thanks to the title and the framing narrative of two small town cops, who also used to be lovers, investigating the aftermath. If you’re keeping count at home, that’s nine characters. So at least the film doesn’t give away the one person who lives.

While the promotional material is very clear on who the killers are, the why and who lives is what keeps the movie flowing. The nonlinear storytelling is the greatest aspect of this film, especially since we learn more and more about each character in spellbinding fashion. Unfortunately the film never seems to utilize the horror of its AirBnB aspect. A film like “Barbarian” had me so distrusting of the characters and property in the first 30 minutes while “8 Found Dead” seems to just go, “Oops, double booked,” and seemingly reveals the killers in the first 20 minutes. Despite the flaw of not utilizing its AirBnB premise, my biggest issue with the film as a whole is, was it all worth it?

Like I said, we wonder about why the murders are happening? That’s the biggest question of the film for me, and I’m left wondering if there isn’t a subversive commentary on love, relationships and generational views. Richard and Liz are very blunt, sometimes offensive and possibly swingers. Richard and Liz clearly have relationship issues that were dragged into their professional lives as police officers while Carrie and Ricky and Sam and Dwayne have massive communication issues that feel complicated by technology. While there may be a commentary on relationships, you could also chalk up Richard and Liz to being more comfortable with each other and themselves after years together, as well as a shared demented sense of life and love.

While I wasn’t bored, I could see how people would be bored because so much is given away up front. I don’t want to spoil the film in this review because I’m ultimately recommending it, despite my on the fence view and rating. I think it has enough elements to make it a captivating watch, but I also foresee people losing interest during verbal chess matches between the older couple and the younger couples. The film also teases that this isn’t the first tale of murder associated with couples, which leads me back to, why? The why bugs me and that’s ultimately bogging down a film I did enjoy. If “8 Found Dead” has something rich to say, I wish it was as upfront as the title about it.

In 2012, Sony Animation struck gold when they debuted their own unique horror-inspired family movie, Hotel Transylvania. The quirky, fun comedy united the talents of Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg, Kevin James, Selena Gomez, Steve Buscemi, Molly Shannon, and Jon Lovitz — to name a few. The success of the movie went on to spawn three sequels, the latest of which released last year exclusively to Amazon Prime as an “Amazon Original.” Although I did enjoy the first 2012 film, I was never able to get my hands on any of the sequels before, and so when 2022’s Hotel Transylvania: Transformania (AKA Hotel Transylvania 4) was sent to me, it was the first time I was seeing something new featuring these characters in the 10 years since I saw the first movie. With that said, I can’t say anything about the second and third entries, but as a sequel to the original, Transformania certainly feels like the stereotypical superfluous fourth entry.

One thing that never bodes well for a sequel to an animated movie is when two of the central cast don’t return. Comedians Adam Sandler and Kevin James both don’t return as Dracula and Frankenstein, respectively. Dracula is really the film’s central character, alongside Andy Samberg’s Johnny and Selena Gomez’ Mavis, so it’s kind of surprising to find the movie’s main star sitting this one out. However, this is the first movie in the series to bypass theaters altogether and go straight to streaming (which is ultimately today’s version of a movie going straight-to-video). Those not willing to spring for a subscription to Amazon Prime just to watch this fourth entry to the franchise can finally access the movie through all digital retailers or grab it on disc. Unfortunately, as the movie started, I got the vibe pretty quickly as to why Sandler and James are absent… this is basically the kind of sequel you’d expect to go straight-to-video.

Then again, to be fair, adults aren’t the intended audience for a movie like this one. While I remember really enjoying the 2012 original — since many animated movies these days really work for all ages — there’s a pretty good chance Hotel Transylvania 4 is deliberately crafted to appeal to a younger audience. With that said, Hotel Transylvania 4 finds Johnny and Mavis in line to inherit the hotel from Dracula, however Drac is having second thoughts and invents a nonsensical rule that says only a monster can inherit the hotel. Johnny turns to unhinged scientist Van Helsing who uses a ray on him to turn him into a monster. Drac tries to undo this, but accidentally turns many of the monsters in the hotel into humans instead. Events that unfold find a few of the gang hitting the road on a quest, forcing Drac to do some much needed – although entirely unexpected – soul searching along the way. This makes for some decent emotional beats that help make the movie just a tad better than it deserves to be, but its cheap crude gags and corny humor keep Hotel Transylvania: Transformania from being more than just a forgettable entry in the saga. Don’t get me wrong; Hotel Transylvania: Transformania does have its moments. It’s silly and still a little entertaining — even if adults are less of the intended shared audience this time. Brian Hull replaces Adam Sandler as Drac, and does a pretty decent job making you forget you’re not actually listening to Sandler’s performance. Still, knowing we have a bit of an imposter voicing such a now-familiar character cheapens the overall feel of the movie. It also doesn’t help that little-known voice actor Brad Abrell is taking over for Kevin James as Frankenstein. Considering that Abrell’s most known role is of the “Worm Guy” in the first three Men in Black movies isn’t all that reassuring. But with Frankenstein having little impact of the plot of this entry, it’s probably a bit more forgivable. The fact Andy Samberg is back as Johnny and Selena Gomez as Mavis certainly helps things, but Johnny seems more annoying as this stage in the story than I previously recall. The animation style is of the more hyper and spastic variety, even to the point where I felt it making me a bit anxious. Sometimes this approach works fine for the story, but overall, I felt it detracted. Hotel Transylvania: Transformania‘s content warrants the PG rating — mostly because a lot is made of the fact that the Invisible Man is naked all the time while invisible. So, when we see him in the flesh finally, we’re given several views of his bare butt, and then several shots where something is shown barely covering his naked crotch. It’s played for laughs, but the gag wears thin pretty immediately. It’s kind of interesting when Dracula becomes mortal, because he finds he can finally relate to Johnny being human and lacking any kind of magical powers. While the transforming element drives the plot in an emotional way for Dracula’s story arc, it’s ultimately used as a gimmick for all the other monster characters. The only other content to be cautious about is some mild language, especially a moment where some wolf children accidentally rearrange some letters in a “Happy Anniversary” sign to “A Very Phine As…” and Drac scrambles to stop them before another “S” is tacked onto the end there. (And for a split second — you’d have to pause it to see this — you can see the letters kind of disjointedly arranged in that order.)

Hotel Transylvania: Transformania is a pretty unnecessary sequel, but it gives fans a fourth chance to see these beloved characters together once more. I don’t know if this is intended to be a final chapter or not, but it could work well as a last entry, but is left open just enough if they decided to continue it. My opinion, though, is this is probably a good opportunity to let the characters of Hotel Transylvania checkout before they’ve officially worn out their welcome. Two out of five stars ⭐️ ⭐️