Matthew Goldhue is the director of the new killer sloth (YES, killer sloth!!) horror film “Slotherhouse”, which follows Senior Emily Young who wants to be elected sorority president. She adopts a cute sloth, thinking it will help her win, but a string of fatalities implicates the sloth. Media Mikes had a chance to chat with Matthew about the film and what we can expect.
Starring: Simon Pegg, Minnie Driver and Christopher Lloyd
Directed by: Adam Sigal
Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 96 minutes
Saban Films
Our Score: 2.5 out of 5 Stars
At 2021’s San Diego Comic Con, I attended a panel for “Nandor Fodor and the Talking Mongoose.” I had an actual interest in the panel after having recently listened to Last Podcast on the Left doing an episode on the subject. The film is based on a peculiar incident from 1930s Britain about, well, a talking mongoose. While that seems straightforward, the movie isn’t. Honestly, it’s odd attending a panel where everyone has a difficult time articulating what the film is about. It’s even odder watching the film.
While listed as a comedy, I didn’t laugh once during the film, but I’m not sure the film was written and filmed as a comedy. Sure, you have Simon Pegg as Dr. Fodor, who begins the movie explaining a belief in the paranormal as someone who sees something that no one else can see. In fact, most scenes with Dr. Fodor seem to be moments written for dry chuckles. That’s because he’s a natural skeptic whose life has been debunking every psychic phenomenon, every bump in the night and every scare tactic he can get his hands on. It’s beginning to wear him thin as he glides through life one hoax and alcoholic beverage at a time. That’s when a fellow skeptic and professor, played by the delightful Christopher Lloyd, tells him about Gef, the talking mongoose. With his assistant Anne, played by Minnie Driver, in tow, Dr. Fodor is off to the Isle of Man to unravel a mystery that will never be solved.
I had the knowledge going into this film that Gef remains a mystery. Is it the work of bored playful humans? Was Gef an actual talking creature lost to time? Was Gef the culmination of poltergeist activity? There are way more theories than answers and honestly, the film mimics that true to life story. That could genuinely frustrate anyone looking for an engaging story, much less a comedic one. Since the film isn’t necessarily going to give you answers or a laugh, why can’t I flat out not recommend it?
The film is peculiar in that I was never bored. While the characters talk in hushes and whispers while silently thinking about the day’s event (usually over a drink or two…or three), it seems like someone is screaming something at the top of their lungs, just below the surface. Annie is the only one of the main cast that’s genuinely open minded to the possibility of Gef’s existence, at least, outside of the peculiar townsfolk and family side characters that have allegedly heard Gef. It’s almost like Annie, after years of watching Dr. Fodor unmasking mysteries, is beginning to tire of the dog and pony show. Or maybe she’s warming up to the idea of Gef, and life, being a giant question mark, while Dr. Fodor can’t possibly fathom a question without an answer.
So maybe the film is more than a look at this absurd true-life story, but instead an encapsulation of how we shouldn’t let small things bog us down in life. Especially since Dr. Fodor, who has obvious chemistry with Anne, never seems to act on those sparks. Instead he seems miserably content with being single and skeptical of everyone and everything, as long as he has a stiff drink in his hand. But in a way, that’s why I can’t recommend it. Maybe I’m giving too much credit to a poorly written and directed film that wanders aimlessly for 90ish minutes. Maybe that screaming I sensed underneath the surface was the cast demanding any form of direction. Just like Gef, this film is a tonal mystery.
Alex Winter aka Bill S. Preston, Esq. may be known best for his films in the Bill and Ted franchise but he is also an amazing documentarian. He has written and directed films like “Downloaded” and “Zappa”. Media Mikes had a chance to chat with Alex about his new film and what we can expect.
Founded by Ollie Rosenblatt in 2011, Senbla is a London-based concert promoting and production company that operates both nationally and internationally. Ollie has worked on projects like the ‘films in concert’ shows, like Harry Potter and Star Wars film with live orchestra franchises as well as Beauty and The Beast, La La Land, Love Actually, A Muppet Christmas Carol, The Godfather. MediaMikes had a chance to chat with Ollie about the film in concert of Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse Live and it’s upcoming world tour!
(L-R): Anna Diaz as Heather Hernandez, Olivia Holt as Teen Pam, Liana Liberato as Tiffany Clark, Stephi Chin-Salvo as Marisa Song, Kiernan Shipka as Jamie Hughes in Totally Killer | Credit: Prime Video
Thirty-five years after the shocking murder of three teens, the infamous “Sweet Sixteen Killer“ returns on Halloween night to claim a fourth victim. Seventeen-year-old Jamie (Kiernan Shipka) ignores her overprotective mom’s (Julie Bowen) warning and comes face-to-face with the masked maniac and, on the run for her life, accidentally time travels back to 1987, the year of the original killings. Forced to navigate the unfamiliar and outrageous culture of the 1980s, Jamie teams up with her teen mom (Olivia Holt) to take down the killer once and for all, before she’s stuck in the past forever.
Julie Bowen as Pam Hughes in Totally Killer | Credit: Prime Video
Directed by Nahnatchka Khan
Written by David Matalon, Sasha Perl-Raver, Jen D’Angelo
Produced by Jason Blum, Adam Hendricks, p.g.a., Greg Gilreath, p.g.a.
Starring Kiernan Shipka, Olivia Holt, Charlie Gillespie, Lochlyn Munro, Troy Leigh-Anne Johnson, Liana Liberato, Kelcey Mawema, Stephi Chin-Salvo, Anna Diaz, Ella Choi, Jeremy Monn-Djasgnar, Nathaniel Appiah and Jonathan Potts with Randall Park and Julie Bowen
Jonathan Potts as Chris Dubasage in Totally Killer | Credit: Prime Video
Totally Killer will premiere globally on October 6, exclusively on Prime Video
It’s hard to believe that The Fast and the Furious franchise kicked-off 22 years ago with a simple little movie about the Los Angeles street-racing scene. It made stars out of Vin Diesel and the late Paul Walker. From there the street racing moved to Miami and then Tokyo. However, something shifted after that. We got a mediocre fourth film that reunited the original cast, but Fast Five took things in a whole new and exciting direction. Fast & Furious was no longer about racing. Justin Lin brought the series into a big budget action spectacle. Things continued to shine with the sixth and seventh films, which was also where we said goodbye to Paul Walker. Unfortunately, the next two installments and the Hobbs & Shaw spin-off did very little to keep the series feeling fresh. Here we are now with Fast X, the tenth film and the one that kicks off the three-film finale. While the latest installment is basically 141 minutes of pure dumbness, it takes a few steps into course-correcting the wayward series.
The first thing is tying the events of the series best, Fast Five to this one. However, the big difference between the latest film and all of the ones that came prior, is that for the first time, we get a fun villain. Jason Momoa plays Dante, the son of Hernan Reyes (Joaquim de Almeida). When Dominic killed the elder Reyes at the end of the fifth film, he had no idea that his somewhat psychopathic son would eventually come for revenge. Few years have passed since the events of the last film. Dominic Toretto is living in his family home with Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) and their son Brian (Leo Abelo Perry). Things are going along nicely. Even Abuelita (Rita Moreno) swings by to visit with her family. Things don’t stay nice for long. When Toretto’s team go to Rome for a mission, they soon discover it was a setup. Dante was there waiting, and Dom’s family was the bait he needed. It turns out that Dante went after Dom’s other nemesis, Cipher (Charlize Theron) to grab the God’s Eye, which is a piece of tech that can track anyone in the world, including Dom’s son. Since family is the most important thing to him, you know what that means.
Much like the last few films, there is a ton of globetrotting going on and way too many characters. Jason Statham’s Shaw and his mother Queenie (Helen Mirren) are only in the film for a matter of minutes. However, it is made clear that they will have larger roles in the upcoming films. Like usual, Roman (Tyrese Gibson) is given the funniest lines. John Cena’s Jakob is much more entertaining as the good uncle here than he was as the villain in the last film. While Brie Larson can handle the action for sure, I would like to see her character given a little more of a punch up. Fast X is heavy on the action, as one would expect. Some of the CGI explosions are distractingly bad, including the big one in Rome and the final act drive down an exploding dam. I still can’t help but laugh at how Dom never has a single scratch. No human could take the kind of physical punishment he takes. Louis Leterrier (The Transporter) took over directing duties when Lin suddenly left production. He is a proven capable action director and definitely a good fit for the franchise. Still, it is Momoa who truly saves the day here. He adds such an abundance of life and steals every scene he is in.
The producers of the series finally figured out that for such a ridiculous series of films, you need an equally ridiculous heavy to deliver a true joygasm. Thankfully, Dante is not a one and done character. For the first time in years, I actually want to see what happens next. As expected, the 4K release of Fast X looks absolutely splendid. This is a big expensive franchise that takes us all around the world and gives us some great locations. Thanks to Dolby Vision and HDR, the vast number of colors and textures will make your eyes pop. A perfect example is when Dom shows up at a race in Brazil, where he meets Dante for the first time. All the pretty cars, lights and people take full advantage of what Dolby Vision has to offer. Of course, for audio, the Dolby Atmos track is no slouch either. If there is one thing this franchise takes seriously, is its’ sound design (probably one of the only things it takes seriously). A lot of guns, engines and explosions. Plus, of course the always consistent soundtrack. Vin Diesel’s voice alone demands Atmos. While this series has its’ ups and downs, there is no denying the presentation rocks, even if the film doesn’t. Three out of five stars ⭐️ ⭐️⭐️
Meet Reggie (Ferrell), a terrier that worships his owner, Doug (Will Forte). Because dogs love unconditionally, Reggie doesn’t realize that Doug hates him, blaming Reggie for the breakup of his latest relationship. Which means that, when Doug repeatedly drives Reggie out into the country and tosses a tennis ball, Reggie thinks he’s playing a game. He’s not. Doug is, in a term all dogs hate to hear, “a bad boy.” After one such game of fetch, Reggie finds himself lost. But his life changes when he makes some new friends.
Crude, crass and incredibly funny, “Strays” follows the adventures of a quartet of dogs who learn that being a part of a pack isn’t always a bad thing. Bug (Foxx) is the streetwise boxer, proud of being a stray, hiding a secret. Reggie and Bug are joined by Maggie (Fisher) and Hunter (Randall Park), two dogs that have owners but feel neglected. Maggie because her owner has gotten a new puppy and Hunter, who once trained to be a police dog, who now wears a cone around his neck. Together they forge their way across rainy city streets and vast stretches of woods to get Reggie back to the undeserving Doug. It’s like “Homeward Bound” if Chance and Sassy dropped F-bombs. A lot. “The Wolf of Wall Street” currently holds the record for most uses of the “F” word in one film – 715. “Strays” may actually break that record.
The voice performers have fun with their roles, and their banter is often quite funny. A word of warning though. Despite the posters featuring cute dogs, “Strays” is not for children. I was amazed at how many children were at the screening I attended. I was even more amazed that not one parent took a child out. So, if you’re looking for an outrageous time at the movies, give “Strays” a watch. But leave the kiddies home.
“Strays” receives a total of three stars out of five.
Starring: Gayle Rankin, Hari Nef, Rad Pereira and Annabelle Dexter-Jones
Directed by: Stewart Thorndike
Rated: NR
Running Time: 83 minutes
Shudder
Our Score: 2 out of 5 Stars
I’m generally wary of movies that get compared to great films. Enter “Bad Things,” which bills itself as a female-version of “The Shining.” The early reviews reference how similar in vein it is to Kubrick’s 1980 film. So, I guess I’ll be the proverbial turd in the punch bowl by saying that, yes, it is similar to “The Shining” in a lot of ways, mainly visuals and hotel specters, but that’s about it since it’s far from being a horror classic, much less a horror film I can even recommend.
Ruthie (Gayle Rankin) has inherited her grandmother’s closed and aging hotel, somewhere in New England (most likely). Ruthie is just looking to sell the mid-century modern hotel because of bad childhood memories involving her mother, but Ruthie’s girlfriend Cal (Hari Nef) doesn’t quite see it like that. Cal sees an exciting business opportunity and organizes a girl’s week, inviting two pals, Maddie (Rad Pereira) and Fran (Annabelle Dexter-Jones). So, for the next 80ish minutes, we’ll be treated to gossip about a potential love rectangle between the four ladies, rumors of the hotel being haunted, and visuals that may or may not be real.
The film’s brief runtime and the hope that there’s a decent payoff kept me engaged throughout most of “Bad Things,” even if I found myself wondering what the purpose of any of it was. Cal seems so focused on reopening the hotel, but never really articulates why, which becomes annoying as Ruthie’s mental health declines as she’s constantly reminded about her mother’s parental shortcomings. If Cal was an actual caring partner to Ruthie, you’d think she’d drop the whole idea, much less convince her to have a gal pal weekend in it. As for Maddie and Fran, it seems like there’s skeletons in their closet when it comes to their prior relationships to Ruthie and Cal. It’s almost as if Cal has intentionally planned a weekend to sabotage her own relationship or is that willfully ignorant of other people’s emotions.
References to “The Shining” are sprinkled throughout, but never really feel like an homage or slice of true terror, coming off more like a cringy wink at the camera. The worst moment is when one of the characters sees ghosts eating breakfast in the hotel’s dining area, much like Wendy Torrance encountering a ghoulish party in the final act of “The Shining.” It doesn’t help that, unlike “The Shining,” the girls can leave at any time and are literally a block away from a strip mall. The isolationism that’s perfectly encompassed in Kubrick’s film is nowhere in sight of “Bad Things.”
Despite my frustrations, I was never bored, which is fascinating in of itself. Despite never being scared, the cinematography really makes the hotel a fascinating character. While you’re most likely to have your suspicions that the ghosts aren’t real, the hotel is filmed in such a way that you never feel like the characters are safe from something paranormal. Even in the bitter, snowy cold, the hotel doesn’t seem welcoming or the last place you’d want to be stuck in. Keeping things moving is the cast, which is constantly gnawing on the stale, peeling scenery of the hotel. Rankin steals the show by the end of the film, but Nef, Pereira and Dexter-Jones each have individual scenes they can add to their highlight reel because of how convincing they are in those moments.
I have to wonder how much better “Bad Things” would have been if the film’s promotional material wasn’t attempting to tell me how Kubrickian it was. There’s a lot going for it, including the cinematography, the acting and several ideas that are placed throughout. Even the ideas that I came to enjoy ultimately failed because they were never fully realized. I can’t help, but wonder how much better the film would have been if it leaned more into psychological horror or even implemented more slasher tropes. There’s definitely a way better film in this tangled mess, but “Bad Things” can’t overcome being a bad thing.
There’s a method to the madness that makes a great chase movie. In the strictest sense, it’s “Get characters from Point A to Point B” and have them avoid the deadly obstacles in between. It’s that gray area of “obstacles” that can muddy the waters a bit. Sometimes there doesn’t even need to be a Point B so long as our heroes are moving and out-maneuvering the villain. The Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgement Day, Mad Max: Fury Road, Apocalypto, Duel, the list of great chase movies is a long one, but even longer is the list of mediocre-to-bad chase movies where the setup is there, but the middle guts never quite come together. Sadlym Gerard Butler and Ric Roman Waugh’s latest adventure Kandahar falls in that latter category. Although I admit the film does have its intense moments.
International man of mystery Tom Harris (Leonidas) just completed a mission posing as a Swiss telecom company wiring in new high-speed internet lines to Iran. His target was to implant a bug into the wiring so the CIA could permanently disrupt a nearby nuclear facility’s capacity to enrich uranium. Mission complete, he’s ready to tackle one more mission and go home, but thanks to a mole in the CIA, reporter Luna Cujai (Nina Toussaint-White) has obtained sensitive documents about the mission. When those details are broadcast across the globe on every major news network, Tom’s cover is blown. In less than forty hours, Tom and his interpreter ‘Mo’ (Navid Negahban) must travel 400 miles to a rescue flight that will be on the ground for less than a minute with every mercenary and assassin hot on their heels.
With Kandahar, I actually ran into two hang-ups. Hang-up one for Kandahar hits early and that has more to do with poor timing. This film is nuts and bolts nearly the same flick as Guy Ritchie’s The Covenant, which I conveniently saw just a couple of days before viewing this film. “Soldier X partners with interpreter to get across country under fire – GO!” Kandahar is “Spy X partners with interpreter to get across country under fire – GO!” So familiarity with another film is hangup number one.
Hang-up number two for me is this film just doesn’t do anything interesting with its time. I hadn’t seen the trailer before going in so I was as cold as could be, but as soon as Gerard Butler’s Tom Harris is revealed (which is pretty much right away), I knew exactly where it was going to go. You could practically have Terry Bradshaw and Troy Aikman play-call the pregame and this screenplay by Mitchel Lafortune wouldn’t deviate a beat.
Through the heaps of familiar plot points, character setups, and action set pieces, I did think the film was entertaining, just not amazing. As I said, Kandahar isn’t going to win points for originality, but I admit I was interested, invested, and ultimately entertained with the venture. The interplay between Butler and Negahban is the biggest strong point of the film and helped it salvage any sense of urgency. I’ll say The Covenant did a better job with the concept, but if you’re aiming for some easy entertainment this should hold your attention. Just don’t expect to remember much when it’s all over.
As far as middling predictable action movies go, Kandahar isn’t the worst or best but still pretty good. I mean, if you want a better version of practically the same story, check out The Covenant. I was hoping this would have been better given Butler’s more recent action output, but this is perfectly serviceable if unmemorable entertainment. On Blu-ray, the film scores a respectable A/V presentation with a nice sharp and clear picture and an engaging audio mix. Bonus features simply don’t even exist. Not a terrible movie by any stretch, but this one didn’t hook me like Plane or other recent Butler outings. Three out of five stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️
1897. At the docks in Carpathia the sailing ship Demeter prepares for its journey to England. A few men short, the Captain (Cunningham) goes into the local tavern to recruit some help. All goes well as they fill the hold. But what’s in that big box full of dirt?
Based on “The Captain’s Log” chapter in Bram Stoker’s classic novel, “Dracujla,” “The Last Voyage of the Demeter” is a fine entry in a series of Dracula inspired films dating back to 1929’s unauthorized classic “Nosferatu.”
One of the men taken aboard, Mr. Clemens (Hawkins), is an Oxford trained doctor whose skin color has prevented him from getting a job. Needing to return to England, he takes the gig, seeing it as a free ride home. On board is the usual assortment of colorful characters, including the loyal first mate, the precocious grandson of the captain, the loveable dog. And someone else. Or is it something?
The film is well paced, with occasional bits of humor interlaced with truly horrific moments. The tension on board, especially at night, and during a storm, is so thick you can cut it with a knife. As livestock, and then shipmates, are discovered dead, with their throats ripped out, the superstitious crew begins to paint fingers at anyone and anything.
The performances are strong, and the film goes out of its way to avoid many of the standard horror film tropes, which makes for quite a few “wow, I didn’t expect that” moments.
The production design is top notch, as are the visual and makeup effects.
A perfect combination of gore and terror, “The Last Voyage of the Demeter” is a trip you definitely want to take if you are a horror film fan.
“The Last Voyage of the Demeter” receives a total of four out of five stars.
Starring: Emilia Clarke, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Rosalie Craig
Directed by: Sophie Barthes
Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 109 minutes
Vertical
Our Score: 1.5 out of 5 Stars
The word AI is beginning to permeate the landscape as humanity navigates an exciting, yet dangerous future. “The Pod Generation” has arrived at the near perfect time to comment on the machine learning phenomenon we’re all experiencing. The film is about NYC couple Rachel (Emilia Clarke) and Alvy (Chiwetel Ejiofor). Rachel works for an AI company that makes little eyeball products that are like some kind of 22nd century nightmare version of Alexa or Siri. Alvy on the other hand, is a botanist that teaches at a nearby college.
They’re polar opposites in their careers, whereas Rachel sees a bright digitized future, Alvy seems to yearn for a return to nature. This style clashes when the Womb Center, exactly what you think it is, says that they have a limited number of spaces for couples to have their baby in their pod-shaped incubator. Rachel is eager to sign-up, while Alvy is a bit hesitant. They both want children, but disagree on the path forward. Rachel eventually wins out, mainly signing up behind Alvy’s back, but Alvy warms to the idea when he watches the artificial insemination process. This is all fascinating and interesting, but that fades as the movie progresses.
The biggest issue in “The Pod Generation” is that it’s too long and only has surface level commentary that approaches the story like a shotgun blast of ideas instead of a sniper rifle of wit. While the film could have simply honed in on technology versus humans’ animalistic need to procreate, the film seems to throw every idea at us without rhyme or reason. For instance, we see women protesting the Womb Center, but never hear their counterpoint or why. We see these eyeball products everywhere, but never get a full idea of how intrusive they are. We see an entirely robot run school, but never get an idea if it’s beneficial to the children in it. We hear about how there’s a serotonin bliss meter being monitored by the government, but that’s about it. All these neat sci-fi ideas are just vomited on us without any kind of idea or point behind them.
Unfortunately, this continues for over 100 minutes, which begins to make your mind wander during the film. Which meant I began to poke holes in the various sci-fi tropes it’s utilizing. For instance, at one point, Rachel and Alvy begin seeing a marriage counselor that’s just another big AI eyeball that talks to them. You’re telling me that in this future, the human brain has been unlocked to the point that AI can articulately offer psychological advice, yet there’s still a need for human botanists to teach college kids? At one point the couple are watching “March of the Penguins” on a 32-inch TV and I had to wonder, because this is in the 22nd century supposedly, why is a couple watching a 100-plus year-old movie on what’s most likely a very tiny TV at this point in technological evolution? Also, we never made TV’s better than standard definition? I wouldn’t be having these nitpicky thoughts if I wasn’t so bored by its lack of in-depth philosophical ideas and unnecessary runtime. Then there are just scenes of Rachel dreaming like it’s an episode of “Black Mirror,” which just made me want to open Netflix.
I would hate this movie more if it wasn’t for the performances by Clarke and Ejiofor. They really ham it up in some scenes, even if I never believe that these two people are in an actual relationship, much less banging. I can’t help but wonder if this kind of plot and idea would have been better served in a “Black Mirror” episode with a twinge of despair or horror. I say that because the movie just kind of ends without any kind of climax of note. We’re just kind of left wondering, “That’s it?” In a contemporary world begging for AI satire, “The Pod Generation” may have actually benefited from an AI editor.
Live-action adaptations of animated films and series have succeeded in Japan, but few have overcome the transition to Hollywood. For every Alita Battle Angel there is Ghost in the Shell, Dragon Ball Evolution, and Death Note. The cultural barrier aside, there has never been the right balance between ambition and execution. Sony’s Knights of the Zodiac is a valiant attempt to bring the Saint Seiya animation to life with a modest budget and recognizable actors just below the A-list. The result is a visually impressive movie with some franchise potential that ends up being squandered by a bland screenplay that barely scratches the surface of the vast mythology from the long-running Saint Seiya manga and animation series.
While the original manga consisted of 28 volumes published over four years, the Saint Seiya animated franchise is comprised of 315 episodes across seven series along with six feature films released from 1986 through 2022. Knights of the Zodiac is the first live-action take on the series in any language which means this film is highly anticipated internationally. Filmed entirely in English with an international cast from across the globe, Knights of the Zodiac streamlines the vast storylines from the animated and manga into an origin story that attempts to simplify the concept into a digestible scale. In Knights of the Zodiac, Seiya is played by Mackenyu (the son of the legendary Sonny Chiba). Seiya makes ends meet as a low level fighter for Cassios (Nick Stahl) when he is pulled away by Alman Kiddo (Sean Bean), a scientist who explains about the impending reincarnation of the goddess Athena. Currently dormant in the body of Sienna (Madison Iseman), Athena must be protected by powerful knights and Kiddo belieces Seiya is the Pegasus Knight. Kiddo needs Seiya to protect Sienna from the evil Guraad (Famke Janssen) who wants her dead. Reluctantly, Seiya agrees and begins to unlock his gifts and abilities.
Within minutes, Knights of the Zodiac defines its tone with tedious dialogue that does not match the abilities or presence of the actors delivering it. In their first sequence together, Nich Stahl and Mackenyu give steely-eyed stares at each other and engage in a solid fight sequence choreographed by Andy Cheng. Cheng gives the numerous fight scenes a balance of ethereal power reminiscent of wuxia movies along with the expected tracers, shadows, and glowing energy from animated fare. The combination makes for action that varies from living cartoon to cartoonish and silly. When Knights of the Zodiac is heavy in martial arts and battles, it looks great. When it slows down to a crawl with exposition-heavy moments, the film drags and cannot overcome the weakness of the dialogue. With references to Greek dieties and the film’s silly name for powers (“Cosmos”), Knights of the Zodiac cannot quite reach the suspension of disbelief we offer Marvel and DC adaptations.
Of the cast, everyone is bought into the silliness of the material, but some carry it better than others. Mackenyu makes for a decent leading man, but his line delivery is often wooden and dull. Similarly, Madison Iseman makes for a more energetic performance as Sienna/Athena, but she is mired in scenes of her sitting around convulsing or wearing one of multiple over-the-top wigs. Nick Stahl does his best as a secondary villain with wasted screen time while Diego Tinoco is meant to be the primary antagonist but his delivery is often laughable. Of the veteran performers, Sean Bean has the least to do and is included more for exposition than anything. Mark Dacascos is underused as well but his placement hints at more should sequels get made. Caitlin Hutson delivers a solid, masked performance as Marin the Eagle Knight. Famke Janssen (whom I personally have a slight crush on) is the best aspect of this adaptation as Guraad, the villain and one of the sole characters of the cast to get a complete arc through the movie.
Director Tomek Baginski, whose credits are primarily on animated shorts and video game intros, does his best with what he is given, but much of this film looks like a cutscene from any number of Playstation video games. The green screen is obvious through the entire final act which is supposed to be the set-piece this movie is built around. While the training scenes and dream sequences benefit from the special effect work, the finale is mired in so many computer generated effects that it undermines the action itself. The cinematography by Tomasz Naumiuk replicates the slow motion and sharp angles of anime films but falls prey to overuse as the film plods through its two hour run time. Even the music by Yoshihiro Ike, which at times is quite stirring, feels out of place and drowns out some dialogue and ruins the rhythym. There is so much set up in this film that is designed to support further sequels that they didn’t manage to give this movie a heart of its own.
Knights of the Zodiac ultimately does not leverage the vast potential of the Saint Seiya source material despite a willing cast and a serviceable budget. While the actions sequences are well choreographed and special effects start out strong, the movie fails to capture enough energy or charisma from the main characters. When your villain has more presence than your hero, your story is in trouble. Had this movie invested in being an animated epic come to life, like the Wachowskis’ Speed Racer, it may have worked. Otherwise, it should have gone as gritty as Robert Rodriguez did with Alita Battle Angel. As it stands, Knights of the Zodiac looks and feels like a compromise designed to kickstart a franchise that seems unlikely to happen.
Finally let’s discuss the video performance, which is very good. Blu Ray picture is bright and sharp. There are plenty of visual effects to show off the strength of Blu Ray. Sound is amazing as the disc encompasses at Dolby 5.1 mix with plenty of LFE (subwoofer) activity. I’d be interested in checking out a 4K copy (not really sure if it really exists). In short, Knights of the Zodiac will give your system a great workout.
While sitting in his car in a parking garage a man witnesses a brutal fight between a group of men that ends with everyone dead. As he begins to call 911 he sees a large canvas bag. He grabs the bag and runs. Big mistake.
A film that shares a lot of movie DNa with “The History of Violence” and “Nobody,” “The Baker” tells the story of a man who is forced to return to a part of his life he thought he had left behind in order to protect his family. Here the man (Lan always excellent Perelman) is a simple baker, quietly making rolls in his kitchen when his son unexpectedly drops by. Also unexpected? A granddaughter he never knew existed. The son asks his father to watch the girl for a short while as he takes care of some business. Reluctant to do so, but understanding the bond of family, the man agrees. What’s the girl’s name, he asks? Delphi.
Packed with action and bolstered by the performances of the cast, “The Baker” rises above the standard “anything for my family” tropes by exploring both the amotional baggage of the Baker and Delphi (Ho). We learn that the girl hasn’t spoken since the passing of her mother, silently chronicling all she sees with a small camera. Even without words, the bond between grandfather and granddaughter grow.
I have been a fan of Ron Perelman’s since “Quest for Fire” and he has turned in some fine performances in film as diverse as “The Name of the Rose” and the “Hellboy” series. As a young boy my son loved watching the television series “Beauty and the Beast,” even though he thought it was called “Beauty and the Priest.” I once metl Perelman in New York and he signed a photo to my son, writing “the Priest” below his signature after I told him my son’s perception of the title.
Also standing out on screen, young Ms. Ho, who conveys more with her eyes then most actors can with an entire monologue. And it’s always fun to see Harvey Keitel on screen, here chewing scenery as the bad guy behind the film’s opening brutality.
As summer winds down, and you are overwhelmed by all of the “Barbieheimer” social media posts, I recommend taking the time to seek out “The Baker.” It “rises” to the occasion.
“The Baker” receives three and a half our of five stars.
Starring: Natalie Burn, Ser’Darius Blain and Cam Gigandet
Directed by: Shane Dax Taylor
Rated: NR
Running Time: 109 minutes
Cineverse
Our Score: 3.5 out of 5 Stars
In a previous critic’s life, I reviewed blu-rays for action movies you’ve never heard of. You’ve never heard of them because they usually utilized 80s action stars in their twilight years for a few minutes, just so they could get Bruce Willis or Jean Claude van Damme on their cover art. The movies were notoriously rough because of their hairbrained scripts, wooden acting, CGI blood and explosions, and incompetent use of 80s tropes. Thankfully though, the low-budget action movies I watch now are directed or written by those with a deep understanding of what made 80s action great. Brutal violence, spurts of fake, but realistic looking blood, schlocky dialogue bordering on unintentionally funny, and stories that have you rooting for the good guy; Or in the case of “Til Death Do Us Part,” the good bride.
When we first meet the bride (Natalie Burn) and groom (Ser’Darius Blain), they seem like they’re madly in love. In fact if you didn’t know this was an action movie, you’d think that you’re stuck watching a third-rate Hallmark rom-com in the first several minutes. The bride is happy, the groom is yucking it up with his seven groomsmen, and all seems well. But suddenly, the bride bails because, as we find out, her hubby-to-be is a professional assassin. That doesn’t sit well with the groom who sics his groomsmen, who are all mercenaries, after her.
“Til Death Do Us Part” is like if “Kill Bill” and “Scott Pilgrim” had a one night stand that led to pregnancy. The violence is joyous as each groomsmen meets a brutal end at the hands of a woman scorned. Each groomsman attempts to bring his own pizzazz to the battle, only to have the bride find another unique way to dispose of them. While the kills and fight scenes are not as highly choreographed as the two films I mentioned above, “Til Death Do Us Part” makes up for it in pure tongue-in-cheek brutality. Very rarely does Burn make the bride more than a revenge driven killer and very rarely do any of the groomsmen evolve above one note bastards looking to do the bidding of the groom.
If I had a complaint about “Til Death Do Us Part,” it’d be the runtime and the attempt to make the world bigger than it seems. I won’t reveal the specifics, but “Til Death Do Us Part” seems to play with the notion that there’s more to explore in this world. While that may be, the writer seems to want to take this in a semi-serious direction, which actually works against what makes this film enjoyable. During most of its runtime, I don’t have to worry about putting too much thought into what I’m watching and can simply enjoy the slicing and dicing. It also needs an editor, as evident by the runtime that pushes us well past the 80-to-90-minute mark. Simply put, this film would have knocked it out of the park if there was less talking and more groomsmen to kill.
“Til Death Do Us Part” mainly works because of its cast, which is ready and willing to get covered in blood. Burn plays the bride with enough sympathy and grit that we can’t help but smile as she goes on a relentless killing spree as geysers of blood coat her face and pristine white wedding dress. The best man, played by Cam Gigandet, gets to gnaw on the wedding scenery as he dispatches groomsman after groomsman while speaking philosophically as if he’s Socrates in ancient Rome. Even if you’re watching “Til Death Do Us Part” by yourself, you’ll find plenty to smile about as the body count piles up and the bride’s white wedding dress becomes a blood soaked badge of revenge.
Directed by: Justin Simien
Starring: LaKeith Stanfield, Tiffany Haddish, Owen Wilson, Danny DeVito, Rosario Dawson, Dan Levy, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jared Leto
Distributed by: Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
Running time: 123 minutes
Our Score: 3.5 out of 5 stars
Having visited three Haunted Mansion rides at Disney World, Disneyland and Disneyland Paris, this movie really gets the attraction down! I wasn’t sure what to expect from “The Haunted Mansion” but I walked out of the theater with a smile on my face.
Official Premise: Inspired by the classic theme park attraction, “Haunted Mansion” is about a woman and her son who enlist a motley crew of so-called spiritual experts to help rid their home of supernatural squatters.
LaKeith Stanfield’s character brings the believability to the story. Owen Wilson just played Owen Wilson, the same character. Danny Devito was my personal favorite, simply hilarious… and I didn’t expect that either. I wish Dan Levy was in it longer, and same goes for Jared Leto.
I really enjoyed the darker side of the story. The PG-13 rating really gave it a chance to go deeper into love, loss and finding oneself. But don’t let ’em fool you, the beginning had a good portion of excellent jump scares. The ending also catches you off guard, which I enjoyed quite a bit!
The visual effects were impressive but felt a little cartoony at the end due to the Hat Box ghost appearance. But overall, I think “The Haunted Mansion” did a great job representing the attractions. But just a warning to parents, it is a solid PG-13, so little ones might be left scared.
