Author: Jeremy Werner

Starring: James McDougall, Douglas Nyback and Joel Labelle
Directed by: Derek Barnes
Rated: R
Running Time: 91 minutes
Saban Films

Our Score: 2.5 out of 5 Stars

Movies don’t always have to have plots. In fact, there’s the saying that too much plot gets in the way of the story, which basically means the film’s vibe. Some people’s favorite films are all about the vibe, more than it is the actual story. A lot of coming-of-age films are about relating to the character or movies like “The Big Lebowski” thrive on it’s characters, as opposed to the rug and kidnapping mystery. So, when a film like “Whiteout” comes along, you have to wonder, “What does it thrives on??

The film hooks you immediately by opening with Russian men kidnapping several individuals from an office complex. The men from the office are sent to labor camps while the few women we see in the background at the office…are probably sent to something worse. “Whiteout” follows Henry (James McDougall), who quickly, after the opening, ends up being involved with the escape plans of two other different prisoners, Kurt (Douglas Nyback) and Anthony (Joel Labelle). While the trio survive a labor camp gun battle, they quickly find out they might not be able to survive the snowy, rocky elements of Mother Russia.

So, why were Russian men raiding the office complex? I don’t know. Why was Henry captured and sent to a miserable labor camp? I don’t know. Who are these two who’ve picked Henry for their escape? I don’t know. Why does everyone we encounter seem to be a sharpshooter? I don’t know. “Whiteout” is a vibe. That vibe is non-stop action, although it does reveal a little as the film progresses, but not enough to add stakes to the overarching plot. Which is unfortunate because it’d be nice to care about Henry’s plight, more than feeling bad for the out of shape tubby guy who has to deal with the worst from Old Man Winter and the lack of trust from those he’s escaped with. That being said, the movie isn’t as predictable as you might think as the third act delivers a few decent shocks.

While I wouldn’t necessarily recommend “Whiteout,” if you were to tell me you were going to watch it, I wouldn’t stop you from watching it. That being said, you really have to enjoy some mindless thrills and actions because you’re not going to get much in the way of thought provoking content. There’s a lot to enjoy from Derek Barnes in his debut feature. He really does capture the vast emptiness of the wilderness and some of the more unforgiving aspects of it. And even with a low budget, the action is incredibly choreographed and the suspense keeps you engaged even if Barnes didn’t know how to write anything beyond a basic plot.

Starring: Esther Garel, Alex Zhang Huntai and Isabelle Barbier
Directed by: Lev Kalman and Whitney Horn
Rated: NR
Running Time: 91 minutes
Yellow Veil Pictures

Our Score: 1.5 out of 5 Stars

As a product of the 90s (technically born in the 80s, but predominantly remember the 90s), I feel like I know what “Dream Team” is going for. The movie bills itself as an “absurdist homage to 90s basic cable TV thrillers.” That triggers memories of “La Femme Nikita,” “The Pretender,” and “The X-Files.” The 90s is also considered the golden age of erotic thrillers with films like “Body of Evidence,” “Basic Instinct” and “Wild Things.” I’m sure I’m name dropping a lot of content that conjures fond memories, but “Dream Team” isn’t able to.

“Dream Team” is about two INTERPOL agents, played by Esther Garel and Alex Zhang Hungtai, investigating mysterious deaths which may or may not be linked to gaseous coral. That’s the plot in a nutshell, but because this is a mysterious 90s thriller, the film is filled with non sequitur character introductions, soap opera subplots, bad practical effects, cringey dialogue, and a lot of unspoken hornyness. This isn’t really a movie though. The film is presented like a VHS of recorded episodes, with the film broken up with episode title cards. It looks and feels like an homage, but it never comes full circle.

The biggest problem in “Dream Team” is that the movie doesn’t seem to know what to do in between some of the more clever moments of the film, like the antiquated technology jokes, incompetent investigation skills and the intentionally shoehorned unsexy sexual moments. The problem is, there’s not an interesting bare bones story to follow along with. There are also long moments of B-roll like waves crashing on the shore, sea creatures just derping about, or shots of the beach. Some of these scenes last for several minutes, almost as if it was begging me to check my latest phone notification.

The movie is tackling 90s erotic thrillers in a way that’s reminiscent of “NTSF:SD:SUV” or “Children’s Hospital,” a bonkers reality where everyone is Leslie Nielsen in “Airplane!” But the problem is that there isn’t a cast and crew stocked with comedic chops. There were moments where I wondered if the cast was interpreting the script correctly because of the different approaches. At other times I felt like the film was telling an inside joke that I wasn’t privy to. It’s also quite possible I’m not a connoisseur of bad 90s like directors/writers Lev Kalman and Whitney Horn. While I’m sure there’s a niche audience for this,  “Dream Team” is, like most of my dreams, forgettable.

Starring: Colin Cunningham, Jessica Staples and James Morris
Directed by: James Morris
Rated: NR
Running Time: 89 minutes
Dread

Our Score: 2 out of 5 Stars

Gabe (Colin Cunningham) is on the run. The escaped federal convict is hiding in a motel, waiting for some of his old criminal pals to help him further escape. Passing the time in the motel, Gabe leaves the TV on but never watches, talks with his ex-girlfriend over the phone but has no immediate interest to reconnect, and listens to strange noises from the room next door but no explanation as to what they could potentially be. With no one to trust, little to understand, and nowhere to go, Gabe may have found himself in the crosshairs of the town serial killer, Pale Face.

There’s a lot of interesting moving parts in “He Never Left.” Well, moving parts in that there’s a lot of interesting exposition for a film trapped inside the confines of a motel. Probably not this much since “Identity.” The film opens with on-screen text about Pale Face, a slasher whose kills have haunted the town for decades, coming, killing, and leaving without any rhyme or reason. Without revealing more, Gabe hogs the screen time with his criminal uncertainty. How these two plots are connected isn’t immediately clear. That should be a great way to keep a movie flowing, but after the film’s opening act, it becomes less and less interesting.

While a slasher doesn’t necessarily need a lot of exposition, or even a killer’s motive, it’s odd that “He Never Left” sets up all these dangling threads, only for Pale Face and Gabe’s plots to pay off lazily. As for Gabe, he turns out to be the most interesting piece of this film’s puzzle. The other issue, still, is that Pale Face’s story kind of derails what’s working for the film. In a lot of ways, “He Never Left” feels like two ideas struggling to take charge of the film.

While the film maintains steady suspense, it undermines its own enjoyment with overwrought explanations that feel repetitive. For instance, the film mainly takes place at this motel, which allows for some creativity in revealing more about Gabe and Pale Face, but it’s when the film jumps narratively through time and location that the film feels like it’s simply overexplaining what it’s clearly explained prior at the motel.

I really wanted to enjoy “He Never Left” because there is a good movie, somewhere in the narrative mess. It leans heavily on its influences while attempting to tell a fresh slasher story, but it never seems confident enough to stop leaning on those cliches. The acting is good, the direction creates a tense atmosphere, but the script prevents everything from excelling.

Starring: Stavros Halkias, Wes Haney and CM Punk
Directed by: Ben Kitnick
Rated: NR
Running Time: 90 minutes
Dark Sky Films

Our Score: 3 out of 5 Stars

You ever had an annoying person in a friend group, but you can’t get rid of them? Chip (Stavros Halkias) is kind of like that friend, but instead of being in a friend group, he’s in a cult. In fact, he’s so annoying, the cult commits their mass suicide without him. He’s about to resign back to a life at home, where his own family doesn’t want to be around him, when he finds out that the ex-cult leader, William (Wes Haney) is actually still alive. In frustration, Chip tracks down William, and forces William to reboot the cult so they can commit ritualistic suicide the right way.

Wacky comedies used to be a dime a dozen, but now they feel more like a lost art, if you consider mid-2000s films like “Strange Wilderness” or “Grandma’s Boy” a lost art. “Let’s Start a Cult” doubles down on absurdism at every turn, starting with the film’s lead, Chip. He would actually be an obnoxious individual to be around, but as the film progresses, it peels back layers to reveal this relatable softness which undercuts his chaotic spirit. It’s a lot like a 90s Adam Sandler character, without access to endless pools of money or having some kind of insanely unique talent.

We learn, fairly early on in the film through dialogue and interactions, that Chip joined the cult in search of a family. He really doesn’t seem to have any friends and his family seems to view him as some kind of unwanted adoption. Even around strangers, he’s frequently vulgar for no reason, which is off-putting the every day individual. Eventually this plays into Chip’s charm, especially when sandwiched with William, who may be the most cowardly cult leader in cinema history. Of course, the cast of characters they meet and recruit to their cult, are also broken down souls that have been rejected by friends, family and society.

The film has a subtle, let your freak flag fly, morality to it, which plays into Chip’s odd nature. As for the laughs, they don’t come a mile a minute and they sometimes mistake simple crassness for humor, but the film finds itself tickling the funny bone in several inspiring moments; thanks to Halkias performance. It’s hard to imagine anyone else taking this self-deprecating material like Halkias and elevating it to such dizzying heights. The film is mercifully short, meaning that it does run out of steam with minutes left to spare on its somewhat inspired sketch comedy premise.

It seems like the only comedies I’ve watched this year have been blends or attached to other genres, like “Deadpool & Wolverine,” “Didi,” “Lisa Frankenstein” and so forth. Because of that lack thereof, I think I enjoyed “Let’s Start a Cult” more than I normally would. Very few studios or artists are willing to take a leap on a pure comedy, so props to Director Ben Kitnick, as well as Halkias and Haney, for pulling the trigger on something that isn’t as bankable as it used to be. You told a story worthy of comedies from 21st century heydays.

Starring: Kia Dorsey, Zaen Haidar and Sam Lukowski
Directed by: Jill Gevargizian
Rated: NR
Running Time: 86 minutes
Dread

Our Score: 3 out of 5 Stars

Go on Youtube, TikTok, Instagram or whatever and you’ll find people doing a variety of bizarre challenges. Some are popular and mainstream like the ice bucket or cinnamon challenges, while others like the fire challenge cause harm and death. Then there’s the one in “Ghost Game,” staying overnight in occupied homes, harassing the residents as if you were a ghost.

Laura (Kia Dorsey) is one of its participants, generally completing these challenges with her bestie and partner-in-crime, Adrian (Sam Lukowski). The duo are underground internet celebrities of sorts, but that all comes apart when Laura’s boyfriend, Vin (Zaen Haidar) finds out about her extra curricular hobby and takes wedges his way into Adrian’s spot. That won’t stop Adrian from crashing Laura and Vin’s first challenge, a supposedly haunted house with a new family moving in, nor will it stop the chaos that unfolds.

Even though “Ghost Game” utilizes some GoPro POV and hidden house camera techniques, it benefits from traditional filmmaking to tell its story. In a lot of ways, the film throws out various horror film cliches, such as the haunted house with a deadly backstory, mysterious occurrences that Laura, Adrian and Vin can’t explain, or jump scares, in an effort to misdirect you constantly. The misdirect entertains while distracting from some of the film’s weaker constructs.

It’s not actually scary and the plot sometimes struggles to make sense. Outside of the misdirects, “Ghost Game” is elevated by relatable characters trapped in a tense, growing situation. And even though we like these characters, we do feel a bit of sick joy at their comeuppance. We already enjoy watching social media stars and others getting what’s due when performing dangerous and dumb stunts or challenges.

We wait for that retribution while watching the characters grow suspicious, which is really the meat of “Ghost Game.” Laura is competing in these challenges because life just isn’t fun unless you’re doing something dangerous and illegal, which speaks volumes about her relationship with Vin and Adrian. Without diving too much into the dynamic, Vin and Adrian represent two sides of Laura and she tries to reconcile that throughout the film. It’s the kind of emotional resonance we saw in Director Jill Gevargizian’s previous film “The Stylist.”

“Ghost Game” just doesn’t click as well as “The Stylist,” probably because Gevargizian didn’t write this one. Writer Adam Cesare seems to love genre mashing, but needs a nudge towards blending it into a more cohesive thriller. Despite its flaws, “Ghost Game” is an enjoyable haunted house romp with characters you could watch bicker for hours. If it’s premiere at 2024’s Panic Fest was any indication, it’s a crowd pleasing romp.

Directed by: Jordan Downey, Christian and Justin Long, Justin Martinez, Virtal Pal, and Kate Siegel
Rated: NR
Running Time: 110 Minutes
Shudder

Our Score: 3.5 out of 5 Stars

Here at MediaMikes, we love the V/H/S franchise. While we haven’t reviewed every single entry, the ones we have have averaged 4 out of 5 Stars. Unfortunately I’m here to break that trend, but that shouldn’t distract from “V/H/S Beyond,” the latest entry. It appears to be the first foray into a solely sci-fi realm for the franchise. While not every short within the anthology has a sci-fi beat, it maintains the exaggerated style the films have held recently.

Continuing a recent trend in the franchise, “V/H/S Beyond” has a framing narrative that really doesn’t matter or fit into the overall structure at all. Thankfully “Abduction/Adduction” is as short as it is forgettable, moving straight into “Stork,” a short that feels like a first-person shooter. “Stork” is very much like a horror video game playthrough as a SWAT team storms a dilapidated building looking for the culprit behind missing babies. The short manages to squeeze in every ounce of creepiness, jump scares and unrelenting gore from its disturbing premise.

“Dream Girl” lets off the accelerator a tad as we watch two paparazzi members find out a somewhat predictable secret behind the latest Bollywood sensation. The superstar bloodbath that ensues doesn’t necessarily save the weak story in this one. Luckily, “Live and Let Dive” goes back to slamming the film’s foot on the accelerator. A group of friends are going skydiving for a pal’s birthday celebration, but a UFO and the American military have a different idea as chaos unfolds mid-air and on the ground. Outside of some wicked kills, “Live and Let Dive” has a great creature design and a concept that never lets go of you. Also ,it might actually be the only short in the whole movie that actually follows found footage rules.

If “Live and Let Dive,” didn’t rattle you, then surely “Fur Babies” will. You can kind of surmise what’s going to happen when a group of animal rights activists decide to sneak into the home of a pet and taxidermy enthusiast home to check out her doggy daycare. Even if you can predict what’s going to happen, it can’t prepare you for the horrific body horror comedy that follows. This, and “Stork,” are the highlights of “V/H/S Beyond.” These two shorts make the latest addition a worthy watch.

Before “Abduction/Adduction” wraps up, “Stowaway” provides an artistic reprieve from the chaos beforehand. A mother documents her journey into the desert to uncover what the mysterious lights she sees every night are. Unlike the other shorts, “Stowaway” has an emotional core as grainy cam footage appears to have overwritten a tragedy this woman is attempting to forget in the name of alien exploration. In that regard, I enjoyed it for bringing us back down to Earth (or out of Earth) after the insanity of “Fur Babies.”

Overall, I enjoyed “V/H/S Beyond,” but my head wasn’t joyously spinning as hard as the past few entries in the franchise. Just like before, found footage rules be damned as several shots were clearly just filmmaking and not footage from a body cam, handheld, cellphone, or something else. At this point it’s hard to tell if these newer films in the franchise actually go for an aesthetic. “V/H/S Beyond” feels like it should be sci-fi up and down, but “Stork” and “Fur Babies” prove that’s not entirely the case. If you were to remove those films, the entire anthology will feel a little hampered by a narrow sci-fi horror preference. Regardless, “V/H/S Beyond” offers a little bit of something for all horror fans, whether it be gallons of blood, gruesome dismemberments and shattered bones, creature designs burned into your retina or good ol’ fashioned jump scares. The “V/H/S” franchise is becoming a yearly treat for those who enjoy what makes horror great.

Starring: Adam Driver, Giancarlo Esposito and Nathalie Emmanuel
Directed by: Francis Ford Coppola
Rated: R
Running Time: 138 minutes
Lionsgate Films

Our Score: 2.5 out of 5 Stars

“Megalopolis” is a difficult film to summarize. It’s Writer/Director Francis Ford Coppola’s 40-years in the making magnum opus that’s equal parts Shakespearian, dystopian, utopian, unintentional comedy, self serious, overacted, haphazard, silly, and about a dozen other adjectives. If at one point you’re disgusted, bored, or chuckling to yourself, give it a few minutes and it’ll elicit another emotion. This is the kind of film that will draw, and has drawn, criticism for being over bloated, confusing and ultimately a flop. Others will find it to be a prophetic stroke of genius that will take years, if not decades to be appreciated. For me, it was an enjoyable, sometimes overwrought, experience that finds unique ways to entertain while finding baffling ways to tell a story.

“Megalopolis” takes place in New York City, I’m sorry, New Rome. The city represents the U.S., er, I’m sorry, ancient Rome. Basically New York City/the U.S. is ancient Rome. That is a nauseating metaphor that the movie uses constantly, and you can use it if you’re ever wondering what the hell is going on. As for what exactly is going on, Cesar Catilina (Adam Driver) is an architect and nephew to Hamilton Crassus III (Jon Voight), the billionaire, if not trillionaire, representation of capitalism in New Rome. Everything revolves around Crasuss’ money. Not only does Catilina rely on it, but so does Clodio Pulcher (Shia LaBeouf), Crassus’ anarchist nephew with political aspirations, TV news reporter Wow Platinum (Aubrey Plaza) whose face appears in the dictionary next to the term “gold digger,” and Mayor Franklyn Cicero (Giancarlo Esposito). Mayor Cicero recognizes the power the dollar has in New Rome, but believes that cash, through Catilina, Pulcher, Platinum and others, is corrupting the city. But the city is already corrupt and falling apart under Mayor Cicero’s abusive police force. Making sense so far? Good, because I haven’t even bothered explaining the magic metal element or Catilina’s ability to stop time.

There’s way too much plot getting in the way of…well…the plot. I haven’t even mentioned Jason Schwartzman’s useless character that seems to be contractually obligated to pop-up randomly in the background or foreground every 10 minutes, Nathalie Emmanuel simply being a “Romeo and Juliet” love interest, a virgin teen pop star controversy magnet played by Grace VanderWaal and Dustin Hoffman who’s character only seems to exist to pad the film’s star power. Which is another big reason the film, at times, feels dizzying. There’s characters that go nowhere, character actions that are never explained, much less hinted at, and Laurence Fishburne who plays the dual role of limo driver and narrator. Even the narration peters out towards the end and title cards, which were previously read by the narrator, flash on screen as if someone forgot to dub in Fishburne’s voice.

It’s obvious to see why this film has been called a mess, because it really is. Even if I found myself enjoying this thoroughly, I’d be struggling to find the words to even express the joy. Speaking of joy, the only thing stopping me from rating it lower than a 2.5 is that it’s an entertaining mess. Moments of exposition, which felt serious, had me smiling at the absurdity as if someone was handed the script to “Airplane!” but didn’t know they were making a comedy. You can actually never really predict where the film is going, even when it’s using obvious parallels between the U.S. in 2024. It sometimes avoids the low hanging fruit while ripping up that vary tree to gnaw at every single low hanging fruit. The movie restrains itself during some scenes while egregiously indulging Coppola’s ego in others.

This is truly a mess that seems like the writer/director has decided to unload every essence of his own humanity and perception of humanity into it. While the world seems bleak, dominated by narcissistic losers who’s only abilities are to manipulate those around them, Coppola’s film is ultimately an optimistic one. “Megalopolis” seems to believe that even when the pillars of a righteous civilization crack and break under the pressure of corruption, there is the ability to make amends and create something more beautiful in its wake. We see that through Catilina’s eyes, who may as well be Coppola himself; a flawed individual with talent. However, Coppola’s own ego gets in the way, several times, when we see characters seek Catalina’s admiration and love. Maybe that own Coppola ego is why some shots are visually impressive and hypnotic, while others feel right in line with a Sci-Fi original.

I’m sure many papers, videos and blog posts will be written about “Megalopolis,” negative and positive. For me, it was difficult to find the balance because I’m still at odds over the film. Did it need another four decades or maybe it should have been pushed out when the idea was fresh and hot. I honestly don’t think “Megalopolis” is a film I can fully recommend because it is so convoluted to explain, yet I can’t fully write off the film. It has some unspoken magnetism, a combination of art, politics, and history that has everything to say, yet sometimes says nothing. I can also see myself watching it again and again, either because it is truly awful or because it requires a thorough digestion.