Film Review: “Dead Teenagers”

Starring: Jordan Myers, Maya Jeyam and Tony White
Directed by: Quinn Armstrong
Rated: NR
Running Time: 80 minutes
Cranked Up

Our Score: 3 out of 5 Stars

When we first meet Mandy (Jordan Myers), she’s waking up, getting showered, listening to catchy pop music and preparing for a great spring break day at a cabin. “Dead Teenagers” quickly dives into tropes, showing all of Mandy’s cliche friends and basically implying that Mandy will most likely be our final girl. Once the chess pieces have been set up, it’s only a matter of time before a psychotic masked man arrives to begin the slicing and dicing. However, our serial killer accidentally dies without a single horny teenager harmed in the process. That’s when the teens find a screenplay, called “Dead Teenagers.”

The first thing that really came to mind about “Dead Teenagers” (the movie, not the script) is “Cabin in the Woods.” It’s kind of hard to escape the shadow of the perfect trope send-up. That initial thought slowly dissolved over time though. While not as clever as the aforementioned film, “Dead Teenagers” shows what happens to all the horror film cliche characters as they grasp that their reality is now confined to a cabin and have their hands on the script. Each character in their own way, becomes the villain in an attempt to survive.

While I won’t say how the insanity unfolds, contorts and eventually concludes, I will state that the film feels more complete if you’ve watched the prior two films, “The Exorcism of Saint Patrick” and “Wolves Against the World,” that Quinn Armstrong has written and directed for his so-called “Fresh Hell” anthology trilogy. A lot of that has to do with the fact that the films have, at points, used similar actors, crew, settings and ideas.

The obvious conceit in all these films, other than being different horror genres, is dealing with emotional truths in an isolated setting. Even then, it’s nothing original, which kind of hampers the whole “fresh hell” idea. What’s kind of interesting about it though, is that “Dead Teenagers” feels like it’s being obvious. The title, the characters, the set-up, everything. What inevitably ends up making it unique is how self-reflective it is on the creative writing process.

Without rehashing the prior two films, and instead focusing on “Dead Teenagers,” what have we learned from the slasher genre? It’s stranger danger, the reflection of serial killers, the punishing of promiscuous teens, the inability to trust men, gender role reversals, racism, gentrification, trauma, unreliable narrators, etc. Mandy could be viewed as the writer, struggling to reinvent the wheel. Since “Wes Craven’s Final Nightmare” and “Scream,” you could make the argument that the slasher genre can only subvert expectations at this point without simply starting the whole process over.

Diving back into the two prior films, we see that attempt being made and getting a mixed bag. Sometimes the reinvention process falls flat or finds a sweet soft spot not yet found, but Armstrong can’t quite do that here. Instead he finds that, just like in this year’s “In a Violent Nature,” the reinvention is finding new and cruel ways to punish the on-screen teens. That all being said, “Dead Teenagers” is better after watching Armstrong’s prior films. Without them, “Dead Teenagers” barely hits the mark.

Film Review: “Wolves Against the World”

Starring; Michael Kunicki, Quinn Armstrong and Jordan Mullins
Directed by: Quinn Armstrong
Rated: NR
Running Time: 88 minutes
Cranked Up

Our Score: 2 out of 5 Stars

I kept wondering during “Wolves Against the World,” are these werewolves or wolves? What would the difference be? Being a werewolf is viewed as a curse whereas being a wolf wouldn’t necessarily be viewed as that because you’d be one of a pack. The werewolf/wolf line is a bit blurry in the film, but thankfully as the movie progressed, I settled on wolves. And for that reason, along with a few others, I couldn’t quite get into this movie.

“Wolves Against the World” is the second film in writer/director Quinn Armstrong’s “Fresh Hell Trilogy” anthology. It began with “The Exorcism of Saint Patrick,” an emotionally raw film about the hellish nightmare that conversion therapy and masculinity is. “Wolves Against the World” could be viewed in the same vein, as it’s an emotionally raw film about the hellish nightmare friendship and masculinity can be.

Louis (Michael Kunicki) is a reformed neo-Nazi, with a giant swastika tattoo that he can’t afford to remove. His neo-Nazi ideology was birthed while performing in a terrible black metal band with his best friend, Anders (Quinn Armstrong), along with the steady influence of Helvete (Jordan Mullins). Years later, after the suicide of a bandmate, Louis has left it all behind, but still has that horrific swastika tattoo. In an attempt to get a little cash to pay for its removal, he agrees to reconnect with Anders, who still owes him some doubt from his time in the band, and before you know it, you quickly deduce where this is going.

Basically, Louis used to be a part of a pack, albeit a super racist one. He didn’t necessarily become a lone wolf when breaking off from the pack, but he technically never left. He was friends with Anders before neo-Nazism encompassed the group and became a permanent bedfellow. So in a way, the film is about wolves fighting for dominance within their own pack, conflicting with their love for one another. Which is in line with the emotional commentary of how male friends can become toxic outlets for bigotry, hatred and violent anger. The inability to discuss emotions is also integral to the plot. We saw this in “Lord of Chaos” and I appreciate seeing this more and more in horror. That being said, you kind of piece this all together very early on, which makes you wonder for the rest of the film, why couldn’t they be werewolves?

You have the ingredients for a fantastic werewolf movie with a terrible black metal, a bunch of guys in the woods being douche canoes, and the potential for an unseen power turning men into flesh ravenous predators. But once you understand their wolves, with a few werewolf tropes, it doesn’t have the same bite. None of the characters are that nuanced and they’re bogged down by a non-linear storytelling device that adds nothing to the plot. While I enjoyed the practical effects, gooey blood and emotional story it told, “Wolves Against the World” seems to be against its own tone and story.

Film Review: “The Exorcism of Saint Patrick”

Starring: Steve Pinder, Michael J. Cline and Maya Jeyam
Directed by: Quinn Armstrong
Rated: NR
Running Time: 90 minutes
Cranked Up Films

Our Score: 3 out of 5 Stars

Horror is truly different for everyone. For me, it’s spiders. Most bugs I’ll get up and close with kleenex to dispose of, but if I spot a spider, I’m grabbing the nearest blunt object and potentially putting a hole in the wall. For others, it could be a variety of things, blood and guts, unnatural fears, possession, clowns, etc. For some, a film like “The Exorcism of Saint Patrick” is an all too real microscope on their own trauma that they’ve dealt with.

The film is primarily between Pastor Pat (Steven Pinder) and Patrick (Michael J. Cline). The two are at a lonesome cabin near the woods because Patrick’s parents want Pastor Pat to convert him. Not to Christianity, but to heterosexuality. The shy, bullied teenager is bullied even further by Pastor Pat. Pastor Pat only refers to him as Trick, basically implying that once he renounces his homosexuality, he’ll actually be identified as a person. Pastor Pat forces him to do repetitive demeaning tasks, belittles him, hits him, and a variety of other cruel “treatments.” Patrick is unwilling, afraid and alone, emphasized by how much his parents hope Pastor Pat’s “treatment” works. The film quickly addresses and touches on topics of LGBTQ+ oppression, suicide, assault, depression and it’s only a matter of time before past, deceased patients of Pastor Pat decide his reign of terror needs to end.

The first half of “The Exorcism of Saint Patrick” can easily be a real life horror of its own, before it takes a supernatural turn. The film is way more layered than what I’ve laid out, showing hints of Pastor Pat’s own personal sexual repression, as well as how he channels that into his profession and tactics. The dialogue between the two, at times, feels thoughtfully introspective. That being said, it doesn’t necessarily make Pastor Pat sympathetic because he has clearly channeled his own problems into undeniable cruelty.

As for whether or not the supernatural elements equal horror, I’m a little inclined to say it doesn’t necessarily coalesce in the end. The film does seem to drag a bit as it reaches the finish line. The film makes great use of practical gore, blood and other bodily fluid practical effects throughout, but it felt more like a drama than a horror. That being said, “The Exorcism of Saint Patrick” is terrifying for a certain segment who’ve had their sexuality questioned to the point of harm. The other aspect of this film is that it’s the first of a trilogy of anthology films, referred to as “Fresh Hell,” by writer-director Quinn Armstrong. Depending on how the following films shape-up, Armstrong is either exploring the individual horrors we all deal with or showing the wide-ranging ability of horror to be fun, scary and serious.