Starring: Esther Garel, Alex Zhang Huntai and Isabelle Barbier
Directed by: Lev Kalman and Whitney Horn
Rated: NR
Running Time: 91 minutes
Yellow Veil Pictures
Our Score: 1.5 out of 5 Stars
As a product of the 90s (technically born in the 80s, but predominantly remember the 90s), I feel like I know what “Dream Team” is going for. The movie bills itself as an “absurdist homage to 90s basic cable TV thrillers.” That triggers memories of “La Femme Nikita,” “The Pretender,” and “The X-Files.” The 90s is also considered the golden age of erotic thrillers with films like “Body of Evidence,” “Basic Instinct” and “Wild Things.” I’m sure I’m name dropping a lot of content that conjures fond memories, but “Dream Team” isn’t able to.
“Dream Team” is about two INTERPOL agents, played by Esther Garel and Alex Zhang Hungtai, investigating mysterious deaths which may or may not be linked to gaseous coral. That’s the plot in a nutshell, but because this is a mysterious 90s thriller, the film is filled with non sequitur character introductions, soap opera subplots, bad practical effects, cringey dialogue, and a lot of unspoken hornyness. This isn’t really a movie though. The film is presented like a VHS of recorded episodes, with the film broken up with episode title cards. It looks and feels like an homage, but it never comes full circle.
The biggest problem in “Dream Team” is that the movie doesn’t seem to know what to do in between some of the more clever moments of the film, like the antiquated technology jokes, incompetent investigation skills and the intentionally shoehorned unsexy sexual moments. The problem is, there’s not an interesting bare bones story to follow along with. There are also long moments of B-roll like waves crashing on the shore, sea creatures just derping about, or shots of the beach. Some of these scenes last for several minutes, almost as if it was begging me to check my latest phone notification.
The movie is tackling 90s erotic thrillers in a way that’s reminiscent of “NTSF:SD:SUV” or “Children’s Hospital,” a bonkers reality where everyone is Leslie Nielsen in “Airplane!” But the problem is that there isn’t a cast and crew stocked with comedic chops. There were moments where I wondered if the cast was interpreting the script correctly because of the different approaches. At other times I felt like the film was telling an inside joke that I wasn’t privy to. It’s also quite possible I’m not a connoisseur of bad 90s like directors/writers Lev Kalman and Whitney Horn. While I’m sure there’s a niche audience for this, “Dream Team” is, like most of my dreams, forgettable.